Chapter 15. Down Bad. 

"For a moment, I was heaven struck. Now I'm down bad crying at the gym."

 I slipped into my pink two piece suit and denim shorts, then made my way downstairs. The sound of playful arguing hit me before I even made it down the stairs. Everyone was there except Mallory. 

 "August!" Marshall's sharp voice cut through the noise. "Come help us break this tie," he said, motioning to the group in the kitchen.

I walked in, raising an eyebrow at the debate unfolding.

"Okay, Justin and I say fruit is the way to go for beach snacks, but these two think it's chips," Dani pointed at Hunter and Marshall, immediately folding her arms in defense.

I paused for a moment, weighing my options.

"I love fruit," I said, and Justin and Dani cheered slightly, grinning at me. "But chips are the only way! You can't even tell if there's sand in them because it's all salty in the end."

I shrugged, and Dani and Justin groaned while Marshall and Hunter high-fived each other. I rolled my eyes playfully as I took a seat on the stool by the kitchen counter. 

"Here, eat! I know you must be starving!" Dani winked at me and handed me a spam musubi that was wrapped in plastic wrap. I glared at her slightly before opening my food. I took a bite and my mouth filled with umami flavor. One of my favorite things from Hawaii was all the food. Nothing back home can compare to the freshness of the food here. I took a few more bites as they continued arguing. But no matter how hard I tried to focus on my food I couldn't get the nagging feeling of Mallory missing out of my head. 

"So what are the rest of the plans for today?" I finally cut in, hoping to shake off the thought. 

"Well we were going to go to a farmers market but somebody didn't answer their phones so we wanted to make sure they were alive but—"

 Marshall cut her off with a playful look on his face. 

"What she's trying to say is, it's up in the air. What does everyone feel like doing?"

"I was thinking of catching some waves before the tide breaks," Hunter added.

"Oh yes! I think there are some pretty good waves up the street. Mals said there were surfboards in the garage," I exclaimed.

I wasn't a good surfer honestly, I rarely managed to stand up but it was too much fun to pass up.

"I think they have an at-home gym in the garage area, so I'm probably gonna hit that up," Justin said, glancing over at me. I avoided his gaze because I knew that if I stared for too long, I probably wouldn't be going surfing.

"Beach day it is! I'll leave you three to surf, but I'll be catching rays!" Dani laughed as she headed toward the walk-in pantry.

"I'm gonna go get the boards from the garage. I'll meet you guys outside," I said, standing up from my stool.

Dani returned with a bag of snacks while Marshall grabbed a cooler, tossing in water bottles and ice.

"Auggie, I got my board already. Need help grabbing one for Marshall?" Hunter asked.

"I won't be surfing. I'll probably just swim," Marshall said, shutting the cooler lid. "Dani and I have lessons later this week, but I don't think I'm ready for the big leagues just yet."

I started making my way toward the garage but felt a steady gaze on me.

"I'll walk with you. I wanna check out the gym," Justin said, trailing behind me.

We stepped into the garage or, more accurately, a state-of-the-art in-home gym. Treadmills, weight racks, and squat racks lined the walls, along with an assortment of random pool gear, snorkeling sets, and a handful of surfboards.

"Damn. I thought it was gonna be, like, a treadmill and a bench with some free weights," Justin laughed, grabbing a dumbbell and casually curling it. "But this is nicer than the gym at work."

I tried my hardest not to watch him, but my gaze had a mind of its own. He carried the weights effortlessly, like fifty pounds was nothing, each curl making every muscle constrict.

That's when I realized he knew I was watching.

His smirk was barely there, but I caught it, the flicker of amusement in his eyes. My stomach dipped.

Nope. Not doing this.

I needed to look away, to snap myself out of whatever daze he had me in. Before I could second-guess it, I shook off my thoughts and made my way over to where the surfboards were kept. Pretending I hadn't just been caught staring. We can't be alone together for too long before I feel this tug inside of me. Like some weird awakening had taken over my body and now I couldn't resist it or him.

 When I finally got to the boards I noticed a row of wetsuits hung beside them, neatly arranged by size. And then suddenly a different thought jumped in my head. He thinks he has one over on me by lifting the weights, like showing off would make me want to stay. 

But the last I checked I was still in control. I decided to have a little fun with this. So I did the one thing I knew would have him begging for more. I found my size wetsuit and figured what better time to put it on then now. I could see myself in the reflection of the mirror behind where Justin was standing. I could also see he was watching me but trying to act like he wasn't. A slow smile curled at my lips. If he wanted to play, I'd make sure he knew he would be the one knocking on my door at night.

 I brought the wetsuit down and laid it on the ground. I slowly zipped my shorts hoping the light sound it made would catch his attention. It did. I slid my shorts off very carefully, 'accidentally' catching the corner of my bottoms. I knew he was watching now. I lifted the side of my bathing suit that had fallen and started to unfold the wetsuit. He put the dumbbell back on the rack and started walking over to me. Hook, line, and sinker. 

"I thought it was your black bathing suit that was dangerous but I'm starting to think it's anything you put on." He smirked. 

"I'm starting to think I'm just dangerous." I smirked back.

"You sure you don't want to stay to work out with me. I can show you some new techniques. Maybe an opportunity might present itself." 

I could feel my skin grow hot thinking about what we were doing earlier. But if I stayed it was almost like he won. Like he knew exactly how to make me fold. He knew how much my curiosity had peaked. But I also knew how curious he was about me. 

"I've worked out plenty today," I laughed while slipping on the wetsuit. 

"It was worth a try," he shrugged but started walking closer to me. "Here, let me help you zip up." He gently grabbed my shoulders and turned me around. His hands on my body sent a rush of goosebumps on my skin. Maybe he was better at this than I thought. He tugged on the suit bringing me closer to him and he began to slowly zip it up. His breath, now on my neck. The neck he had gotten carried away on, the neck he had left his mark on. 

He leaned into my ear and whispered. "You're somehow even dangerous in a wetsuit." My heart beat, now erratic as I swallowed hard trying to ignore his ploy. 

His hands stayed on my shoulders just a second longer than necessary. He was waiting. For what, I wasn't sure. For me to react? To see if I'd push him away or if I'd lean in just a little more. 

Taking a deep breath, I steadied myself. I had to stop before I did something reckless, again. I cleared my throat lightly. I knew I was walking a fine line, one misstep could unravel me entirely. I had to reclaim control before I lost myself again. 

"I…uhm should get outside before Hunter takes all the good waves." My voice came out softer than I expected. I turned to face him, taking a deliberate step back to create space. I felt the warmth of his body fade as I reached for a board, my fingers clenching its edge as I tried to ignore the weight of his lingering stare. 

"Right," Justin finally said, his voice unreadable. "Wouldn't want that." 

I glanced back at him. His smirk faded, and something else replaced it. I wasn't sure if it was confusion or understanding, but it was enough to make me pause. He wasn't just teasing anymore. He was watching, waiting to see what I'd do next. And for the first time, I wondered if he was feeling the same pull. 

I turned before I could second-guess myself, heading toward the door before my resolve crumbled completely. At this point, I'd seen more of Justin than I had of the island.

I made my way to the kitchen, leaving Justin behind. When I entered, I noticed Marshall was still there, leaning casually against the counter. He was the only one there, and I couldn't help but wonder why.

"There you are!" Marshall grinned, his voice light, but I couldn't help but notice the way my eyebrows perked up with curiosity. What was he still doing here?

"Hey! Here I am! Just had to get my board and wetsuit on," I said, trying to keep the mood casual, though my mind was anything but. 

"Dani just wanted to make sure you made it to the beach safely," he said, his words smooth, but his tone… well, it spoke volumes. It was like he was there to make sure boundaries weren't being pushed again. By then, I was certain Dani had told him about what she'd walked in on earlier. I tried to shake the thought off, keeping my cool.

"Oh cool. Let's get going. I wanna catch some waves before the sun sets," I said, motioning toward the back door. But I could sense his hesitation, he wasn't just there to make sure nothing was happening; he was there to talk. And I could already tell where that conversation was headed.

"August," Marshall began, his voice soft, "I just want you to be careful. Justin… might be one of my closest friends, but he doesn't do serious or relationships for that matter." He paused, searching my eyes. "And I don't want you to get hurt."

I met his gaze, his concern clear. "Thanks, Marshall. I'm okay. Really."

He gave a small nod, still unsure but trusting me. "Just don't forget that, okay?"

Finally we made our way to where Dani was already laid out soaking up the sun while Hunter was in the water fighting the waves as they came. As we got closer to them my mind traced back to Mallory. She still was nowhere to be found. Concern growing, I finally asked Dani. 

"Have you seen or heard from Mals?" I asked as I laid my board on the ground. 

"Yeah she went into town for a bit to clear her head. I just got off the phone with her. She's on her way back." Dani smiled looking up at me. For now knowing she was okay would do. 

I started waxing my board trying to distract myself from the underlying tension with Mallory. 

"So how was the at home gym?" Dani asked teasingly. 

I rolled my eyes and couldn't fight the smirk I had. I stood up to Velcro the string of the board to me. And I started walking to the water before turning back around to Dani. 

"Thanks for sending me a bodyguard." I laughed and started running to the shoreline. 

Dani grinned, giving me a wink. 'Anything for you, baby girl! Just make sure you don't need another bodyguard anytime soon."

The water felt cool on my warm body. The waves crashed into me relentlessly, knocking me off my balance and pushing me further out. But with each wave, I found my footing again, grounding myself in the rhythm of the water.

 Hunter and I surfed or attempted to surf until the sun finally started setting. We made our way back laughing at the wave that knocked the wind out of both of us while Marshall and Dani were already starting to pack up. 

"I'm starving! What are we doing for dinner?" I asked as I started taking off the wetsuit. 

"Since the gentlemen cooked last night I figured we could whip something up. I sent Mallory a grocery list so hopefully she was able to find everything." Dani smiled at me as we all started making our way back up to the house. 

The idea of dinner made my stomach growl, a welcome distraction from the worry that had clung to me all day. The thought of food and laughter with my friends felt like the reset I needed after the emotional rollercoaster of the morning.

We got to the house and I could see Mallory was inside taking out the groceries from the bags. I tossed my board and wetsuit to the side, setting them up to dry. I followed everyone back into the house. Mallory shared a small forced smile towards me and I reciprocated. Dani jumped in to help her unpack as I made my way back to the garage to get the shorts I left behind. 

I opened the door of the garage and I saw Justin was still there working out. He had headphones on so he didn't hear me walk in. I tried not to look at him as he laid on the bench holding the barbell up. His shirt was off and I could see the sweat glistening off of his perfectly chiseled chest. But before I could look away he set the bar back in place and caught me. A smug smirk appeared on his face without a beat. He removed his headphones as he grabbed the towel next to him to wipe his face. 

"Welcome back August. Enjoying the show?" He laughed. Finally coming back to planet earth, I walked over to where I left my shorts and slipped them on. 

"Just came to grab my shorts." I tugged at the waistband of my shorts and he shot a glance at them. I turned around and started walking out. But stopped briefly turning to look at him one more time. 

"I'll see you later Justin." I offered him back his same smirk as I stepped out of the garage. 

Making my way back to the lively kitchen where Mallory and Dani were already hard at work. Marshall and Hunter were sitting on the stools enjoying some beers. I jumped in immediately, washed my hands and started chopping garlic. 

"So what exactly are we making?" I asked as I continued mincing the garlic. 

"We are making stuffed peppers!" Dani exclaimed. Mallory brushed up lightly against me and we made eye contact. 

"Sorry," she said quietly. I gave her a small nod and kept chopping. I could still feel the tension between us. We don't fight often but when we do we could go hours without even acknowledging each other until finally we both crack. I could be so angry at her but she is like my sister in the end and nothing is ever serious enough to truly come between our friendship. I knew we would have to settle this eventually but for now we forced smiles. The three of us worked in unison as the guys watched. Justin finally joined the group. 

As we continued to work in the kitchen, I couldn't help but feel Justin's presence behind me. I wasn't sure if it was the quiet air around us or the way his footsteps seemed to slow as he entered the room, but I caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye. His gaze lingered on me for a moment before he quickly turned his attention to the counter, pretending to reach for something.

I focused harder on whatever task I had in hand, trying to ignore the way my pulse sped up. But when I glanced up, he was looking at me again, this time briefly, before his eyes flicked away to the fridge. It wasn't obvious, just a glance here, a shift in posture there but it was enough to make me feel the weight of his attention.

Mallory stood between us, making some small talk with Dani, but I could feel the tension shift when his eyes found mine again, but this time, there was something more deliberate about it. A quiet question in the depths of his gaze, like he was waiting for something, an answer, a shift. It made my breath catch, even as I tried to look away, pretending I didn't feel it. It wasn't the way he looked at the others, casual and friendly. No, with me, it was different…like he was trying to figure me out, one glance at a time.

"Drinks, anyone?" Marshall asked, breaking the moment. The group responded with an eager yes in unison, and he got up to start mixing.

I hesitated. Last night had stripped away every inhibition, and now, my brain couldn't seem to focus on anything except Justin and the way he felt against me. Drinking again felt like a slippery slope I wasn't sure I was ready to go down again. 

We were nearly finished with dinner when Marshall passed around his famous mango mojitos. Dani had hyped them up, and she was right—these were dangerously good, the kind of drink where the liquor was barely noticeable. Exactly the kind of trouble I should be avoiding. But as I finished my first one, a reckless thought crept in—if the worst thing to happen tonight was Justin, was that really such a bad thing?

"Okay, who wants to do shots?" I called out, stirring the pan in front of me.

"I'm in! Let's get the Don Julio!" Dani grinned, already reaching for the bottle.

Marshall, now fully embracing his role as bartender, cracked open a fresh bottle and poured out shots. We all paused what we were doing as he passed them around, limes in hand. I eyed mine, already bracing for the bitterness.

"A quick toast from yours truly!" Dani announced, raising her glass. "Day two, done. Night two—let's go!"

"Cheers!" we all shouted in unison, throwing them back.

The tequila burned, but it was almost comforting, like it could burn away the tension. I could feel my shoulders relax, my pulse steadying in the way it always did when I was trying to pretend I wasn't aware of how close Justin was. But now, with each shot, that pull became harder to ignore.

"So should I change, or is there a chance y'all want to go swimming or get in the jacuzzi later?" I asked as we started plating dinner.

"A nice swim does sound fun! Especially after those gnarly waves," Hunter said enthusiastically.

"Gnarly?" I laughed, handing him a plate. "You go surfing in Hawaii once, and now you're saying gnarly? I'm surprised you didn't throw a Shaka at me just now."

Hunter flushed slightly but played it off, flashing the hand gesture anyway, which made everyone burst into laughter.

We gathered around the table, plates filled with stuffed bell peppers packed with seasoned ground beef, topped with melted cheese, alongside bowls of creamy pasta. Everything smelled incredible, the kind of hearty, comforting meal that hit just right after a long day in the sun.

I was the last to sit down, and when I glanced around, I realized the only open seat was between Mallory and Justin. Awkward. Very awkward. I hesitated for a second, but there was no way around it. I slid into the chair, doing my best to act normal—like Justin's gaze wasn't already burning into the side of my face. Or like Mallory's stiffness wasn't making me tense up too.

Regardless, dinner went off without a hitch. Drinks flowed, laughter filled the space, and for a little while, everything felt easy. Eventually, more shots were poured, and I felt even looser than before.

After dinner, we all cleaned up, the guys took over dish duty, and Mallory went to change into a bathing suit. Dani and I were already dressed, so we poured ourselves another drink and headed out to the pool.

The humidity still clung to the air, but the water was cool against my sun-kissed skin. Dani and I waded over to the swim-up bar and perched on the submerged stools, finally getting a moment to talk.

"So, dinner wasn't awkward at all, right?" Dani teased, sipping through her bright green straw.

I let out a laugh, shaking my head. "Yeah, it was probably pretty obvious. My best friend who isn't talking to me and Justin… who I swore was my enemy somehow now my… friend—?"

"With benefits?" she cut in, wiggling her brows.

"No, he's not," I said, though, even I wasn't convinced. "He's just… Justin." I shrugged, trying to brush it off. "I don't see anything going further than what we did. I think he and I want very different things."

"Like?" she pressed, leaning in as Hunter stepped outside.

I hesitated. I hadn't given it much thought except earlier when I said something similar to Justin. "I don't know… commitment? A life partner? Marriage? Kids?" I finally answered.

Dani studied me. "Has he actually told you he doesn't want those things?"

"No, but come on, it's Justin. When's the last time he had anything serious? People talk, especially at work." I took a sip of my drink, the alcohol settling in my stomach.

Dani mulled that over, tilting her head. "I get why you'd think that, but… I don't know. I think he's more fragile than we realize. He's guarded for a reason."

Before I could respond, Hunter swam over, water sloshing around him. "Whatcha ladies talking about over here?"

"Uh… nothing," I said, way too quickly.

Hunter narrowed his eyes, clearly unconvinced. Then, with a smirk, he said, "So, we're all just going to pretend you and Justin didn't hook up last night, or…?"

I choked on my drink, nearly spitting it out. "Dani! Did you tell him about earlier?" I shot her a wide-eyed look.

"I did no such thing!" she said defensively, but her playful tone betrayed her.

"Earlier?" Hunter blinked. "No, I was talking about last night. Wait—you guys hooked up again?" His eyebrows shot up.

I groaned, pressing my palm to my face as laughter bubbled out of me. But then something clicked. Last night?

"Wait… how did you know about last night?" I asked, suddenly wary.

Hunter looked sheepish. "Well, not to put you on blast or anything, but um… you guys weren't exactly quiet."

My stomach dropped. "Oh god. You mean—"

"I fell asleep downstairs, so when I finally made my way up, I heard some… faint noises. To be fair, I was pretty drunk, so I wasn't sure what it was. Until I heard you shout 'fuck Justin' and, well… I just went to my room and knocked out." He let out a soft laugh, like he was trying to downplay my absolute horror.

"Earth-shattering," Dani finally said, eyes gleaming with amusement.

I shot her a glare, but I couldn't even be mad. It was ridiculous. Just my luck.

Hunter held his hands up. "Don't worry, I won't say anything. Just thought you should know." He took a sip from my drink and swam off.

Dani turned to me, barely containing her grin. "You were not kidding about Justin having some moves."

I groaned. "I am so fucking embarrassed. You have no idea." I took a big gulp from my drink, praying it would help me recover from this level of humiliation.

"It's just Hunter! And Mallory… and me…" Dani tried, as if that would somehow make me feel better. It didn't.

"So the entire house! This is a mess! And the worst part of it all?" I shook my head. "I don't even regret it. I mean, I regret getting caught, but I don't regret doing it." My voice wavered, betraying just how torn I felt.

Dani tilted her head, studying me. "So then who cares if we found out? You're young, August. You're discovering new things about yourself, and there's nothing wrong with that." She reached across and took my hand, her voice softer now. "But I do want to caution you… How far are you willing to go with this?"

I swallowed, feeling the weight of her words.

"Mallory asked you earlier—what are you going to do? About Erik? About Justin?" Her playful tone was gone now, replaced with something more serious.

I held her gaze, but the truth was, I didn't know what I wanted.

On one hand, I was discovering new things about myself, things I never thought I'd experience. And I was enjoying it. More than I wanted to admit. But then there was Erik. Sweet, thoughtful Erik. The Erik who sent me rare flowers for my birthday. The Erik who saw me as something more than just a passing moment. My head and my body were at war, and I had no idea which side was winning.

"I… really don't know," I admitted finally. "What I do know is that I need another shot." I let out a forced laugh, shaking off the weight of the conversation.

"You and I both." Dani grinned, standing up. "I'll be back. I'll grab us more drinks and bring a bottle out." She waded toward the pool steps, leaving me alone with my spiraling thoughts once again.