Episode 6– Secret Talent Show In An Underground Casino

Zayan Was Trying To Enjoy A Peaceful Cup Of Tea When The System Appeared With The Subtlety Of A Firecracker In A Library

Good Morning Host Today's Mission Is A High Stakes Talent Show In A Secret Underground Casino Judged By Talking Animals Dress To Impress And Try Not To Offend The Owl Mafia

Zayan Choked On His Tea Spilled It Down His Shirt And Whispered To Himself That Normal Was Clearly Dead And Buried

He Was Immediately Teleported To A Changing Room Filled With Sequin Jackets Feathered Hats Velvet Capes And A Mirror That Insulted Him Every Time He Looked Into It

The Mirror Said You Call That A Jawline I've Seen Better On A Moldy Avocado

He Dressed In A Green Suit With Gold Shoes And A Tie That Changed Colors Based On His Mood It Flashed Between Nervous Yellow And Screaming Red

When He Entered The Casino Everything Sparkled From The Neon Signs To The Carpets That Whistled Jazz Tunes As He Walked

A Platypus In A Tuxedo Handed Him A Microphone And Said Don't Embarrass Yourself Kid We Lost Two Contestants To A Bad Rap Performance Last Week

The Stage Was Lit With Floating Candles Glittering Curtains And A Spotlight That Followed Contestants Whether They Wanted It To Or Not

Zayan Stared At The Audience A Collection Of Animals Wearing Bowties And Eyeglasses A Penguin Holding A Martini A Flamingo With A Clipboard And An Owl Sitting In A Throne Made Of Microphones

The Owl Leaned Forward And Spoke With A Voice That Could Shatter Windows And Confidence

Welcome To The Talon Talent Show You Dance You Sing You Perform And You Pray You Don't Get Pecked Off Stage Let The Chaos Begin

Zayan Watched As The First Performer A Parrot Named Rico Performed A Beatbox Routine That Involved Summoning Wind With His Wings

The Crowd Went Wild A Lion Roared A Ferret Tossed Coins And The Owl Snapped His Talons In Approval

Then Came A Goat That Played The Violin With His Horns A Kangaroo That Did Acrobatics While Juggling Flaming Marshmallows And A Sloth That Sang Opera In Slow Motion

When It Was Zayan's Turn The Stage Pushed Him Forward Literally The Floor Moved And Threw Him Into The Spotlight

The Platypus Announced In A Dramatic Voice Up Next A Human Claiming He Has Talent Please Welcome Mango King

Zayan Held The Microphone With Sweaty Palms Blinked Into The Blinding Lights And Said I Will Now Perform The Greatest Magic Trick In History

He Didn't Know Magic But He Knew Desperation And He Had Pockets Full Of Random Things

He Pulled Out A Deck Of Cards Threw Them In The Air And Shouted Watch As I Turn Chaos Into Victory

The Cards Flew Up One Hit The Owl In The Beak Another Landed In The Martini And The Rest Swirled Around As Zayan Pulled Out A Tablecloth From Thin Air Or Rather From Behind His Jacket

Then He Juggled Three Apples A Mango And A Remote Control While Telling A Poem About Bread And Existential Crisis

The Owl Tilted His Head And Whispered This Is Either Genius Or A Complete Breakdown

A Drum Rolled As Zayan Balanced A Pineapple On His Head Tap Danced Offbeat And Tried To Sing The Chorus From His Old School Anthem But Accidentally Merged It With A Love Song About Chickpeas

The Crowd Went Silent Then Bursted Into Laughter Claps And A Strange Chant

Mango King Mango King The Savior Of The Stage

The Owl Stood Up Flapped His Wings And Declared I Don't Know What I Just Witnessed But I Am Entertained Proceed To The Final Round

Zayan Was Pulled Off Stage By Two Ferrets In Sunglasses And Given A Smoothie That Tasted Like Confidence And Pine Needles

The Final Round Was Called Talent Roulette Each Performer Had To Spin A Giant Wheel Of Talents And Perform Whatever It Landed On

Knife Queen Was There From The Cooking Show She Spun Interpretive Dance And Immediately Threatened The Host With A Ladle

The Sauce Paladin Had Returned As Well He Landed On Stand Up Comedy And Delivered Pasta Based Jokes That Made The Walrus Judge Cry From Laughter

Zayan's Turn Came He Spun The Wheel It Clicked Around And Landed On A Slot Marked Impression Battle With A Random Judge

A Puff Of Smoke Filled The Stage And Suddenly A Second Owl Appeared A Clone Of The Main Judge Wearing Sunglasses And Holding A Microphone

You Must Mimic Me In Voice Dance And Attitude Said The Judge The Winner Will Be Crowned The Ultimate Casino Performer The Loser Will Be Banished To The Bingo Basement

Zayan Panicked Then Took A Deep Breath And Mimicked The Owl's Posture Spread His Arms And Shouted

I Am The Lord Of Lights The Feathers Of Fame The King Of Karaoke And The Emperor Of Egg Salad

The Crowd Went Silent Then Began Cheering As The Two Performed A Call And Response Shouting Phrases Like Who Stole My Microphone And I Saw That Squirrel Cheating

Then Came The Dance Off

Zayan Shuffled His Feet Like A Nervous Flamingo Tried A Backflip Failed Gloriously But Landed In A Perfect Split That Made The Platypus Drop His Martini

The Owl Stared At Him For A Long Moment Then Bowed Slowly And Said You Win Human You Are A Talent We Did Not Know We Needed

The Audience Roared Confetti Exploded From The Ceiling And The Slot Machines Spun Out The Words You're A Star

Zayan Was Handed A Golden Feather Trophy A Glittering Cape And A Ticket That Read Free Entry To Any Casino Owned By The Talon Network

The System Buzzed

Mission Complete Host You Have Earned The Respect Of The Owl Mafia One Talent Trophy And An Invitation To Judge Future Events

Zayan Smiled Bowed And Whispered To Himself I Didn't Die And I Didn't Trip Over My Mango

The Platypus Slapped Him On The Back And Said You're Welcome Anytime Kid Just Don't Try Poetry Again

The Lights Dimmed The Music Swelled And Zayan Walked Off Stage Wearing A Crown Of Glowsticks And A Smile That Could Power A City

Then The System Whispered

Tomorrow Host You Must Pose As A Substitute Teacher In A School For Supervillain Toddlers

Zayan Looked To The Sky And Said

I Regret Everything

And The Curtain Fell

Zayan Woke Up Covered In Confetti Wearing A Glittering Cape And Clutching A Feather Trophy Like A Pillow Of Victory

He Had Survived The Underground Casino Talent Show And Somehow Became An Honorary Member Of The Owl Mafia

He Barely Had Time To Brush His Teeth When The System Chimed In With Its Signature Death Sentence Cheerfulness

Good Morning Host Today's Mission Substitute Teaching At The Academy For Young And Chaotic Supervillains Objective Survive The School Day Without Getting Disintegrated Or Turned Into A Lizard

Zayan Froze Mid Toothbrush

The System Continued

Warning Students Include Telekinetic Twins An Invisibility Prankster A Toddler With Laser Eyes And A Five Year Old Dictator With Control Over Weather

Zayan Considered Faking His Death Again But The System Had Already Teleported Him To The School Entrance

He Arrived Wearing A Suit That Looked Too Professional For His Soul And Holding A Clipboard That Immediately Burst Into Flames

A Robotic Receptionist Welcomed Him With A Hollow Smile And Pointed Him Toward Classroom 13B The Sign Above The Door Read Chaos Containment Room Good Luck

He Opened The Door And Was Greeted By Silence The Kind Of Silence That Meant Something Horrifying Was About To Happen

He Took One Step Inside And Was Instantly Tripped By An Invisible Rope Fell Flat On His Face And Heard Giggles From Nowhere

He Stood Up Dusted Off His Dignity And Faced A Classroom Of Tiny Supervillains Each More Menacing Than The Last

There Were Thirteen Of Them All Wearing Little Capes And Grinning Like They Knew Secrets About The Universe That Would Break His Brain

One Of Them Floated In Mid Air Spinning A Rubik's Cube With Her Mind While Another Was Building A Robot That Already Looked Smarter Than Zayan

He Cleared His Throat And Said Good Morning Class I'm Your Substitute Teacher Mr Zayan

The Class Booed In Perfect Harmony

Before He Could Continue A Little Girl With Glowing Eyes Raised Her Hand Then Fired A Laser Beam That Burned His Name Into The Wall

The System Buzzed With Delight

You Are Doing Great Host Only Six Hours Remain Until Dismissal Try Not To Cry In Front Of The Dictator

Zayan Took Attendance Which Mostly Consisted Of Dodging Projectiles Asking A Floating Clipboard To Stop Eating His Pen And Begging The Invisibility Kid To Please Stop Hiding In The Ceiling

Then Came Lesson Time

He Tried To Teach Them Basic Math But The Chalkboard Exploded Into Glitter Every Time He Wrote A Number

He Attempted Science But The Beaker Grew Legs And Ran Out Of The Room Screaming Freedom

He Switched To Story Time And Began Reading From A Book Titled My First Evil Plan Only To Realize Half The Students Already Had Villain Lairs With Better Branding

At Recess He Was Chased By A Toddler With A Jetpack And Forced To Referee A Game Of Telekinetic Dodgeball Where The Balls Disappeared Mid Air And Reappeared Inside His Shirt

The Invisibility Kid Won By Stealing Everyone's Shoes

He Returned To The Classroom With Grass In His Hair A New Limp And A Deep Existential Crisis Brewing In His Soul

Art Class Was Worse

One Student Drew A Picture That Came To Life And Tried To Eat The Paintbrushes Another Created A Wormhole To A Dimension Made Entirely Of Jelly

Zayan Managed To Shut It With A Ruler And Sheer Panic

During Music Time A Boy With Sonic Powers Played The Recorder So Loud The Windows Shattered And The Hamster In The Principal's Office Learned How To Speak Fluent French

Lunch Was A War Zone

The Cafeteria Served Pizza With A Side Of Fear And Milk That Glowed In The Dark

A Food Fight Broke Out Within Seconds Zayan Hid Behind A Table And Used A Tray As A Shield As Mashed Potatoes Rained From The Ceiling

He Was About To Flee When A Tiny Hand Tapped His Shoulder

It Was The Dictator A Five Year Old With A Crown A Cape And A Voice That Could Command The Wind

You're Funny She Said You Can Stay

He Was Promoted To Royal Entertainer Of The Lunch Court

The System Buzzed Again

You Are Now On The Good Side Of The Mini Dictator Congratulations Please Avoid Betrayal

Afternoon Class Was History Which Somehow Involved A Time Machine The Kids Built Out Of Desks And Lunchboxes

Zayan Accidentally Hit A Button And Was Temporarily Sent To The Jurassic Period Where He Was Briefly Adopted By A Confused Triceratops

He Returned Covered In Leaves Screaming About Lizard Birds And Holding A Coconut

The Kids Applauded

Finally It Was Naptime

The Lights Dimmed A Soft Lullaby Played And Zayan Took A Breath Of Relief

But No One Slept

Instead They Used The Quiet To Launch A Secret Mission Involving Slime Balloons Glue Guns And A Plan To Paint The Principal's Office Upside Down

Zayan Tried To Intervene And Was Immediately Wrapped In Ribbon Hung From The Ceiling And Declared Class Mascot

The Principal Walked In Looked Around At The Chaos Nodded Slowly And Said Better Than Yesterday Then Left

As The Bell Rang Signaling The End Of The Day Zayan Fell To His Knees In Relief Only To Be Hit In The Face With A Paper Airplane That Read See You Tomorrow Teach

The System Buzzed One Last Time

Mission Complete Host Rewards Include A Certificate Of Survival A Drawing Of You With A Laser Tail And An Invitation To The Parent Villain PTA Meeting

Zayan Sat In The Middle Of The Classroom Surrounded By Glue Glitter Smoke And Giggles

He Looked At The Drawing Smiled Weakly And Said

I Think I'm Starting To Get The Hang Of This

Then The System Whispered

Tomorrow You're Judging A Competitive Fashion Show Between Alien Models And Sentient Plants

Zayan Screamed Internally Then Out Loud Then Took A Nap On The Floor