Secret Allies
POV: Zerik
Location: The Between-Patch Zone – Crown City's Temporarily Abandoned System LayerBuffs: Mild Trust Issues, Anti-Main Character Syndrome (Stage 3)Mood: Wary, confused, too tired to argue
"Okay," I say slowly. "Just to recap: you're the person who's tried to delete me, erase my code, flagged me as Final Boss Material, AND briefly turned a cake into a murder cannon during an event."
The Cleanser, now unmasked—real name: Lys—leans against a flickering console as we stand surrounded by paused system scripts and glitch-light.
She nods. "Correct."
"And we're working together now."
"Correct."
"Cool. Great. Love that for me."
Patch snorts from behind a floating UI error. "Just kiss already."
"Shut up," both Lys and I snap in perfect sync.
We're in what used to be a system-safe zone, a place where the world recompiled itself between major content patches. Think backstage hallway of a theater on fire. Floating dev notes, flickering wall segments, AI personality templates arguing with themselves.
No one comes here anymore.
Which makes it perfect for secret meetings between two people every faction thinks are mortal enemies.
[Mission Created: Temporary Alliance Pact – Zerik & Lys]Objective: Work together without alerting the world that you're not trying to kill each other.Failure: Global narrative rupture, fan meltdown, potential political coups.Reward: Survival. Also maybe self-respect.
Lys looks at me from across the broken platform. "If they find out we're cooperating—"
"They'll freak," I say. "The Slime Cult will promote me to divine husband. Snipe will livestream our betrayal. The Cleanser fans will start a smear campaign."
"They already call me 'Narrative Mommy.'"
I blink. "I need that memory deleted."
"Same."
We settle into silence for a moment as the glitch-wind hums overhead.
There's still tension—of course there is. She's half-player, half-system enforcer. I'm a reclassified bug with unresolved protagonist baggage and too many sarcastic status effects.
But beneath it?
A weird sense of understanding.
We're both leftovers.
Not heroes. Not villains.
Just… fragments the world couldn't fully delete.
"I need to ask something," I say, stepping forward. "Back during the rollback—when we synced—you remembered me. Not just Kael. Me. Zerik."
Lys pauses.
Then nods.
"I did."
"Why?"
"Because when I looked at you," she says quietly, "I didn't see code. I saw choice. I saw someone still trying. Even broken."
I open my mouth. Close it. Open it again.
"Gross," I say finally. "You're gonna give me character growth if you keep that up."
Patch fake-gags. "Too late. I just saw your moral alignment stat shift 0.3 points toward 'vaguely redeemable.'"
Before I can flip him off, a warning window slams into view.
[URGENT: WORLD STATE DETECTED — RIVALRY ESCALATING WITHOUT YOU][Faction Response: The Cleanser vs. Zerik propaganda has reached Level 4: Religious Schism][Trending: #CleanseTheBug vs. #LetHimCook]
Lys stares at the feed.
"…What is this?"
I scroll through. "Fan war. Meme escalation. Someone just printed plushies of us back-to-back on a t-shirt with the caption 'One Shall Delete, One Shall Debug.'"
She pinches the bridge of her nose. "I thought I was terrifying."
"You were. Now you're merch."
Suddenly, the zone stutters.
And a new message appears:
[Event Triggered: Dual World Path Mismatch – Unstable Territory Detected][Error: Conflict between Cleanser and Debug Sovereign state variables][New Subzone: The Arena of Misunderstanding – Now Entering]
The floor drops.
The sky folds.
And before either of us can scream, we're both sucked into a crowd-simulated arena event, surrounded by roaring NPCs, cheering factions, and a live feed window floating above:
Zerik vs. The Cleanser — "The Clash of Chaos"Presented by The Cult of Patch Notes™
POV: The Cleanser (Lys)
Location: The Arena of Misunderstanding™Status: Publicly Enraged. Privately Panicking.Buff: Emotional Lag. Cooldown: Continuous.
Everything hurts.
Not physically—yet—but emotionally. Because as we land on the cracked marble floor of the arena, a booming voice begins the introduction:
"LADIES AND GENTLEMOBS! WELCOME TO THE BATTLE YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! THE EXILED HERO TURNED ERROR... VERSUS THE LAST LAW LEFT STANDING!"
Spotlights hit us.
Banners unfurl.
The Cult of Patch Notes is selling debug popcorn.
And I...
I want to vanish.
Zerik leans over to whisper, "Please tell me you have an escape plan."
"I'm sorry," I say flatly. "Did you not read the quest name? This is the Arena of Misunderstanding. There is no escaping this."
Above us, the system interface chirps:
[Scenario Condition: Must Convincingly Pretend To Be Rivals.][Note: The crowd is very emotionally invested. You will be judged.]
Zerik groans. "If I have to monologue, I'm taking someone with me."
I reach for my weapon.
He summons the Cursed Duck of Agony™.
We charge.
But instead of hitting each other—
—we start improvising.
He swings wide. I block with flair. He flips backward, slings a one-liner.
"Your narrative ends here, Cleanser!"
"Oh please," I snap. "You wouldn't know structure if it crit you in the heart."
The crowd loses their minds.
We start bouncing spells, staging epic-looking combat while exchanging sarcastic banter like exes who never actually dated.
[Performance Check Passed: 92% Believability][Fan Post: "They're so toxic I love them."]
After thirty minutes of increasingly unhinged fake-fighting, the scenario finally concludes:
[Public Perception Updated: Cleanser and Zerik are Mortal Enemies With Weird Sexual Tension.][Zerik's Reputation: +5 with Chaos Factions, -3 with System Loyalists][Cleanser's Reputation: +8 with Fanfic Circles, -12 with Lore Traditionalists][Reward: You're both exhausted and deeply uncomfortable.]
We collapse behind the arena stage while the audience explodes in post-event fireworks and confused theological debates.
Patch floats down slowly, eating a corruption-flavored pretzel.
"That went great."
Lys groans. "I want to die."
"Can't. You're too popular now."
Zerik curls into a ball. "They're writing poetry about our fight."
Lys curls up next to him. "I'm afraid."
Patch checks the trending feed.
"Oh hey, look. You're being referred to as 'Narrative Divorcees.'"
Zerik and Lys, together: "Kill me."