Road Movie

I must've stood in this forest for an hour, paralyzed after casting Wish. Sun is already rising. If I were to guess, it is probably about 5 or 6 AM. I need to get back, while also not attracting attention. Let's see... the tavern isn't far, so perhaps a low-level teleport will do...

"Dimension Door, the room where I was sleeping the last time."

I visualize the small room where Boldwyn is still asleep... and, after a bit of turbulence, aking to one could have in a flight, I am back to that room! Ok, not quite how this spell should work, but I sure amd not complaining! I lay down on my bed, going to sleep again... ouch! The hell?!

I jump off of the bed and remove the sheet that was covering it. There are some kind of small objects, like marbles. That wasn't on the bed when I woke up midway through the night! Where did it even-

I hear a giggling behind my back, so I slowly turn. Boldwyn is laying on his bed with his eyes open and laughs. Perhaps, I gave him too much credit when I said he was "sane". 

"The hell is it, Bald-man?!"

"Shush, others are still sleeping", he whispered.

"Ok, fine, the hell is it, Bald-man?", I repeat, now quietly.

I put a char that was standing near the door to face him and sit there. He also sits up on his bed.

"Look, I just noticed you went out. If you came back later, it would be a nice prank. If not, well, nobody will suffer."

"And... that's the reason? For real? Wait... weren't you sleeping like you were dead? How did you even notice me leaving?"

"Hah, for someone who seems to say how everything is 'generic' and how you've 'seen it all', you seem to be unaware how people of my profession can sleep with eyes open, dog boy."

Oh, you lecture me of all people how Rogues work? 

"Well in my native world, that isn't a skill Rogues have."

"Rogues? What are you even talking about? You mean my class?"

Oh no. Please don't tell me I suddenly got into power system explanation. No, nope, nein!

"Do not tell me you guys have an RPG system in this world..."

"Hahaha! I have no idea what that 'class' of yours it! I just remembered how you said that I am 'Rogue class', while were asleep!"

Ah. Great. 

"So what did you even mean by 'people of my profession', then?"

"Ah, seems like you are finally ready to talk about religions of the world, are you?", he says, grinning.

"On the other hand, no, keep that to yourself. Last thing I want to know is what fictional characters you all worship."

"Knew you'd say that! Well, don't worry. You'll come back to learn about it in no time. Trust me, divine influence over these lands is... way bigger than you'd expect."

"Whatever you say, man. I am going back to sleep now."

"Are you? It's time to depart already, you know?"

Huh?! It can't later than 6 AM! No way he expects me to wake up and travel at 6 AM each day! I am not in military here! 

"It's 5 AM already! How are gonna reach the Wasteland if we won't travel for at least 19 hours each day, dog boy?"

"It's... 5 AM?! Even the members of the military in my world wake up at 6 AM! I have slept for 4 hours at best!"

"Well, it sure seems like your fault, isn't it? I don't know what made you go out in the night, but... it was your choice, I sure didn't make you do so."

"Damn it... whatever. I will just sleep on the go."

"Huh? How so?"

"You underestimate an office clerk's ability to sleep, while even walking."

"Haha, if you say so!"

And then it clicks.

"Wait, if it is time to get up already... why did you shush me?!"

"For the bit, naturally!"

He really said "do it for the vine", huh...

"Whatever. Let's get going then. I do not wish to spend any more time in this world than absolutely necessary."

It may be nice sometimes, but... overall I feel like just being here makes me lose the will to live. Not in a funny way. Actually, pobably in a funny way, too.

"Sure, sure!"

Boldwyn stands up... apparently, he was fully clothed and even had his boots on. In bed. I feel bad for the bartender... actually no, I don't. The dwarf goes to the door and pushes it open, alongside Elaina and Alaric who, apparently, were behind the door, leaning and listening in. Are they kids or what?!

"Good morning to you, too, Boldwyn...", says Alaric, standing up from the floor. 

The door push knocked both of them down. And if I could understand it for Elaina, who seems to embody the "fragile mage" archtype, but... Alaric is supposed to be a melee fighter! How did he fell from that just?!

"You two ready?", Baldie asks before bursting into laughter.

"Yes, of course! I feel very refreshed after a nice sleep!", replies Elaina.

Wish I could relate. Unfortunately, I can't. My bad for evoking an eldritch entity due to lack of knowldge, surely! My bad nobody told me that before! On the other hand, who could even tell me that? My party has no idea what I can do, and I thankfully don't have some annoying RPG game UI in front of my face all of the time. Realistically saying, it is, in fact, my bad for not considering that in a world where spells work "literally", a "wish" must be directed to someone... and that someone can gaze at you in return.

"Will we have a breakfast at least?"

"And you have any food with you?", Alaric said.

"Do not tell me you mean to say... you went into a long-long journey... without taking any kind of provisions with you?!"

"Well, the prophecy said we...", he started to reply, but I cut him short. 

"To hell with that, we are all still human!...", I look around, "Well, we are still 2 humans, an elf and a dwarf! We need to east... something!"

"Guys, please, calm down. I was just going to suggest something."

If Elaina says it now... does it mean these 3 didn't have any plan beforehand?!

"We are in a tavern, so... maybe utilize it?"

"Yeah, that... makes sense.", Alaric replies.

"Quite reasonable, isn't it!", said Baldie.

I just... can I get a different party? But not much can be done. I, too, am a bit hungry, considering I didn't have anything... for entire yesterday, to think about it! Wait. In a lot of RPG, hunger is a status effect, or a condition, so...

"Lesser Restoration."

It didn't work. Well, now I just have the three of them stare at me in cofusion.

"I was just checking can I remove hunger by magic. What's wrong with that?

Eventually, we came down to the first floor. Despite it was just 6 AM, it was as crowded as it was yesterday at evening. Well, then we won't look weird for having a feast in such an early time. We all sit around a single table that wasn't busy. 

"So, what will you all have? We have enough money to afford quite some food... at least a few first times we are going to dine", said Elaina.

"Pork, or beef... doesn't really matter, just some meat."

Elaina, Alaric and Boldwyn looked at each other.

"What is... 'pork'? And what's 'beef'?", asked Witch-Hat.

"That's... that's the meat of some animals in my home world", I answer.

"I see... never heard about it!"

"Just get me some meat that they serve here, ok? No need for the drink."

"And that's exactly why I suggested...", she started.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it! Just go and order something already, no need to lecture me!"

I will not stand... or, rather, sit for hearing the "I told you need to learn about this world" for the fifth time! The trio sent to the bar, while I lean back and close my eyes. I am hungry, I am underslept, I walked for about 4 hours yesterday... yeah, I just don't get what all these guys who want to Isekai into a fantasy world thing. It's misery! There are good things here and these, such as the scenery of Sanctus Spire, but... overall, I hate being here. I need to find a way to end this stupid journey faster.

"It would be great if Boldwyn and Alaric didn't decline the carriage, but no, we need to make it difficult for ourselves", I said quietly.

As I complained to myself, a grumpy voice from a nearby table cut throught my grumbling. It seems like 2 men were speaking. Based on their words, they must be either soldiers from frontlines, or people who heard the news.

"Got from bad to worse, hasn't it?"

"Yes. Half of Draks were wiped out, and almost no Paladins and Inquisitors left."

"That accursed fool of an emperor, sending our brethren to death, while keeping his army in rearguard! We shall cleanse Drakspine as we did with Huandu!"

"Yes, I have no idea what His Benediction is thinking... this alliance was not meant to be anyways. They are Eternal Flame heretics who deny our dogmas for 'justice' and 'purity'... only justice and purity can be in Her Benevolence's grace and tears!"

"Not only the battle was lost, but these fiends moved further into the Empire's territory... if it will continue like this, Drakspine will turn into another Wasteland... serves them right!"

"True that! Demonlord, heretics, no difference!"

Oh no, I fell for passive exposition dump. I close my ears with my palms before catching a few words that pick my interest:

"Be this otherworldler damned!"

Hm. Again, Demonlord was referenced to as someone from another world. Sigh... I may as well ask. I stand up and turn my chair towards these knights. They look like average low-ranking soldiers. They do have the red symbol, akin to what Seraphine had on her armor, on their chestplates, though. 

"Yo", I say and wave my hand.

First, they stared at my face. Not sure how exactly I looked like, but probably very tired and not very friendly. So, these two weren't friendly either. In fact, I could see their faces being twisted in anger... but then their sight went lower, which made them transition from anger to confusion and awe. They noticed the "Holy Symbol" I am wearing.

"Uhm... what does such a holy man seeks of us, humble Inquisitors?", one of them says.

"W-we were j-just d-d-discussing how L-Lord of Shadows must... must be p-p-purged!", says another, stuttering.

"Relax, you two. I have heard your entire conversation."

They exchange dglances, rose from their chairs and then – to my horror – fell on their knees? I also notice than one of them doesn't have a hand, it is cut off before the palm starts.

"Please, forgive us!"

"We didn't seek to doubt His Benediction's decisions!"

"Yes, Archbishop Valhardes is right in all of his words!"

They kept mumbling excuses, but...

"I told you two to relax, didn't I? Even if I were part of the Church, I am going in the opposite direction from the capital, so it's not like I could convey whatever you two were saying to oh so scary-and-mighty Archbishop."

They stand up, still a bit scared.

"Please, sit up. I just want to ask a question or two. Would that be fine with you?", I ask.

"Y-yes, of course...", they say as they sit down.

"So, it's about the Demonlord."

"The True King of All Evils? What's about them?", says one of the knights.

"You mean you want to know what's the situation at the frontlines? I am not sure what Your Holiness has to do with the war...", asks another.

Not this again! I am going to say it here and now, I am NOT having that dialogue again!

"I am not a High Speaker!", as I say it, they look at me in confusion, "I am the 'Harmony Adept', a guy that was summoned from another world to assist the hero."

"Ah! So you are the saint!"

They get on their knees again.

"Stand up, for Mother's sake! I want to ask questions, not for you to lick my boots!"

They stand up and sit down... again. Surely it's the last time.

"So... what is it Your Purity wants to know?"

His voice trembles a bit. Also, "Your Purity"? Stupid name, and totally unfit for me. But, whatever. I better not confuse them even more.

"What is it about Demonlord being an 'otherworldler'?"

"Oh, we didn't mean to insult you, Your Purity! You may be an otherworldler too, but you are different from that-"

"Not what I want to ask! Jeez, just answer me this: is it true that the big bad evil guy came from another world? And if so, does anyone know what they are like? The Demonlord, I mean. What kinda of person they are, what they like, don't like, how they talk... that kind of stuff."

Great. I got them stunned even more than before. What did I say wrong now?!

"I-isn't that... heresy?", one of them asks quietly.

"Shush, idiot! It's the Saint! Nothing His Purity says can be heresy!", another replies.

"What did I say wrong now?"

"The Demonlord... is evil! That's the only word to describe them!"

"Right! They don't talk, they hate everyone, they kill just to cause chaos... there isn't a speck of good in them!"

That seems a little bit too black-and-white, I'm not buying that. But whatever, I have no idea what I thought when asking these two.

"Ok, I got what I wanted to know. Have a nice morning."

I start to turn my seat back to my table, but one of them stops me.

"W-wait, Your Purity! It just so happens that Edward, my friend, lost his hand... we know that the Saint is said to have miracles of healing, so... can we ask you to help him?!", says one of them.

Another, probably Edward himself, looks at his friend, and yells at him:

"What are you saying?! It's too much for mere soldiers to ask of the Saint! We must be grateful just for his prescence!"

"Please, you two, stop fighting. I can try. I am testing my abilities anyways, so may as well use you as a guinea pig."

Despite what I said last, Edward started to almost shine with happiness and put his arm on the table. As I saw before, the hand was cut off, he doesn't even have a prosthetics. Alright. I don't think it will work, but...

"Cure Wounds."

The green glow engulfed Edward, but... his hand still remained unhealed. Well, it's not like it is a "Wound". He already sighed in disappointment, but I raised my hand, prompting him to not remove his arm. Well, there is a spell that makes a body regenerate lost limbs. Didn't use it before, so why not test it?

"Regenerate." 

This time, the glow appeared around his lost hand. The flesh began to materialize, bit by bit. Edward was screaming, and by his face, I see that it was very, very painful. Well, not surprising – during the process of his hand being created anew, he constantly had his nerves exposed. Can't feel nice. However, after a few seconds... he had an arm, again. Soldier was still scared and was screaming... but it feels like just him not recovering from shock. After about half a minute, he started moving his finger and hand, looking at me in pleasure.

"It's nothing. For me, it is as hard as saying a word or two. Alright, bye now."

They wanted to come closer to me, but I cut them short.

"Do not. I don't enjoy being praised. You got what you asked for, now get lost, ok? Or sit silently and don't bother me. Either one. Ok?"

Finally, I turn my seat away. Not sure what they chose to do, but... doesn't matter. I doubt I will ever see them again. I hope I won't. I don't want to have recurring characters on that journey, except for main party... to be honest, I wouldn't like that trio to be main or even recurring, either. Besides, after using Regenerate, I felt a strange shiver over my head... is it because it is a high-level spell? Am I low on mana or something like that? Doubt it. Then why? 

Right at that time, pulling me down from the deep thought, Alaric, Elaina and Boldwyn returned and place some wooden trays with food on them on the table. Elaina is a giggling.

"Seems like you just can't help but attract all the Mother's followers to praise you, can you?", she grinned.

"Trust me, I want nothing less."

I inspect the food they brought. That's... 

"That's just pork."

"I have no idea what that 'pork' of yours is!", Elaina replied, "This is pig meat."

"That's exactly what pork is!"

We argued for a few moments, attracting eyes of everyone in the tavern... again. Why can't this journey just be nice and silent...

After finishing the breakfast, I quickly went out to get some fresh air. It may be a normal pork, but it was so spicy I could die! Soon, the rest of the group joined me. Alaric, looking at me, stopped me from asking questions by answering them in advance:

"From here, our long-term goal is to get to Barridge. It is a big city that serves as a gateway into Freeholds. It will take quite some time, but... we must be able to travel there without much trouble."

That explanation was surprisingly competent for him. Although, I doubt we will get there "without much trouble". If something can go wrong on our journey, it will. When he stops explaining, I ask a question:

"Hey, swordie", as I say it, Alaric looks at me and sighs, "does anything stop us from just slaying the Demonlord right now? In theory."

"I am almost afraid to ask, but... why?", he responds.

"No, no, let's say, hypothetically, we could just appear in their castle, or mansion, or palace, or Black Thorn, or whatever. In that case, can we just... kill them and put an end to that journey?"

Alaric's eye twitches a bit as he looks at me, but then he responds:

"I mean, no, there isn't anything that would stop us in this case, but... would it truly be a hero's journey, then? I need to travel there, and prove myself as a real hero in process!"

I drag a hand down my face. Of course he'd prioritize theatrics over efficiency! However, despite that, I feel relief. I could probably transport all of us right there by using Gate or Teleport, but... these are high-level spells. And I... don't want to use them. I hope to not attract the gaze of that... thing that appeared to me after using Wish. I suspect me feeling weird after Regenerate is exactly because it is a level 7 spell. So, I will only use low-level spells from now on... they are stupidly powerful too, so it shall be enough... I hope. 

We move out to the "gate" of this town on the opposite side. As I thought, this town is more akin to a small village, there's barely 50 houses. Maybe less, actually. Well, all the better, I don't want to encounter more of my "fans" here. I look behind me as we leave the town. A weathered sign saying "Moriloth" behind our backs shows that, in fact, are out of town's borders now. Hm. Strange, I was sure it was Marithol. Well, no matter. I just hope this "road movie" or a journey won't take too long.