The Hauntfluence Awards

Mira got an invitation. The invitation had said "semi-formal," but no one had defined what that meant for the living.

"You have been nominated for 'Best Mortality-Adjacent Managerial Presence (Pet Division)' at the 3rd Annual Hauntfluencer Awards, hosted by NecreoNet and Corpsepresso™."

She didn't even know there was a first or second ceremony.

📩 RSVP:

✔ I will attend in the flesh

🧼 I require a ghost handler

👻 I acknowledge that my likeness may be used in seances, brand summoning rituals, or posthumous TokToks

So, Mira stood in front of her cracked bathroom mirror, trying to apply eyeliner while her ring light flickered with enthusiam as if it has some personal vandetta.

Mira wore a black velvet jumpsuit that screamed, "I'm cool with death, but not like casual acquaintances."

The venue was an abandoned mall just outside the city, fully retrofitted with ectoplasmic lighting, spectral Wi-Fi, and a hauntingly tasteful open casket bar.

As soon as she stepped inside she was greeted with a wave of mist, incense, and influencer desperation.

An emaciated ghost in a Gucci sarcophagus nodded politely as she passed.

Above her, holograms projected a glowing logo into the ether:

☁️🧼 The 3rd Annual Hauntfluencer Awards™

"Because Going Viral Shouldn't Stop at Death."

Mira's POV

At the center of the atrium, a translucent DJ spun glitchy ambient screams over a beat that sounded like someone whispering stock tips backwards. A ghost waiter floated by, holding a tray of edible tarot cards and cursed kombucha.

"I shouldn't be here," Mira muttered.

Dr. Meow floated past her on a miniature hover-throne.

@meows_the_eternal: "i died. she survived. who's really suffering?"

Sponsored by: GriefBites™ — Treats for Sad Pets (and Sadder People)

The ceremony began with a full-body possession performance by last year's winner, a Victorian child influencer named @daisy_chains_4ever who made DIY mourning veils.

Then came the awards.

"And the winner for Best Mortality-Adjacent Managerial Presence (Pet Division) is…"

The ghost host paused for dramatic thunder.

"MIRA KIRA, human handler of @wiggles_the_eternal!"

Applause. Moaning. Someone screamed, "WORK IT, LIVING GIRL!"

Mira walked up to the stage. Someone came from behind and handed her a microphone. She took it and saw that the microphone was made of bones but was it real? Probably.

She cleared her throat.

"Thank you. I… I didn't expect this. Honestly, I just wanted my cat back. I didn't know he'd come back as a sarcastic ghost along with brand partnerships."

Everybody burst into laughter. Then came the spectral spotlight.

Dr. Meow slowly clapped.

Meanwhile from backstage, a man in a gray suit with no shadow approached her. His name tag said:

Lyle Forman — Executive VP, Spectral Integration Division, NecreoNet™

He smiled like a startup founder who once ate a soul for networking purposes.

"Mira, you've got something special. Your grief metrics are off the charts. Your engagement is… lethal."

He handed her a sealed envelope.

Embossed on the front: Confidential: Project Purgestream Beta Invite

"Think of it as TokTok, but for the ethically restless," he winked. "Top tier talent only."

Mira blinked. "Is it… safe?"

"Define safe."

She looked over the crowd again. Ghosts danced with forgotten influencers. A man in a suit was livestreaming his own haunting. A child ghost was applying for a mortgage.

She pocketed the envelope.

"Screw it," she said. "Let's make some cursed content."

Later That Night

Mira got a DM from Dr. Meow.

@meows_the_eternal:

"we need to talk. you're not the only one getting offers."

🪦 Attached: Screenshot of a rival agency's pitch — "Ever thought about going solo?"