📦 Bonus Insert — "Dead and Trending: Sponsored Chaos, Threads & Charts"
🪦 Advertisement
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🧵 Thread from @mira_unfiltered
"managing a Hauntfluencer ruined my credit score: a thread 🧵"
1. adopted a cat to help with my online persona
2. cat died
3. cat went viral
4. now i manage ghost-cat merch and he's the face of 3 vegan snack brands
5. last week he hissed at me through the NecreoNet livestream
6. signed a plushie deal i didn't approve
7. his catchphrase is "meow beyond." i haven't slept in days.
8. ghost council followed me. i don't know if that's good or… cursed?
9. one of them liked my bikini post from 2018. i am scared.
10. therapy is expensive but dying is free. just sayin.
📉 Leaked Slide: NecreoNet™ Investor Briefing Deck
Slide 6 of 66 – Q3 Highlights: "Engagement is Death™"
🧮 Metrics
💀 87% of users are "pre-deceased" (i.e., actively dying or spiritually detached)
🪦 Top 3 growth regions: Mapan, South Corea, Sweten, and Hell as an extra
🐾 Ghost pet influencers now outperform human ones 3:1
💼 Emerging Revenue Streams
NFTombstones™ – Fully personalized and blockchain-verified grave markers with crypto wallets
Spectral Ads – Whispered branding in EVP recordings
Posthumous Subscriptions – Family members pay to keep loved ones "trending"
🧪 R&D Pipeline:
Memory Monetization Engine (Premium one)
Afterlife SEO Tools
CorpseTok™ LaunchPad
"Our vision is simple: eternity, monetized."
👻 Bonus Meme: Found in the comment section of a NecreoNet obituary
"damn bro even in death you pulling better numbers than me 😭💀"
— @undeadroommate2
"ghosted me in life, haunting me in the algorithm"
— @emily_xoxo
"at this point death is just content strategy with higher incomes potential"
— @branding_ghoul