Welcome to the Trash Sect’s PR Department

Kaito had survived divine judgment, gotten a cheat system that rewards laziness, and accidentally upgraded his cultivation by refusing to do anything useful.

Now, his reward?

He was sitting in a broken chair under a leaking roof, staring at a hand-painted sign that read:

"PR Department – Office of Image and Excuses"

It was nailed crookedly to the sect's chicken coop.

The chickens were his coworkers.

"So," Kaito drawled, "this is what glory looks like."

Across from him, the sect master—Grand Elder Li Youzi—beamed like he'd just appointed a chosen one. His patched-up robe was only slightly less ragged than the chicken feathers stuck to his hair.

"This is a great honor, boy! No one's ever repelled a divine audit before. Not even by accident. Your presence alone boosts our karmic credit score by 0.003%. Do you know what that means?"

"That the Heavenly Bureau might stop repossessing our rice bowls?"

"Exactly!"

Kaito sighed, leaning back until the chair creaked like it wanted to die.

"Look, I get that your sect's falling apart worse than my old salary job, but why me? I'm barely qualified to manage my own bowel movements, let alone your reputation."

"You underestimate yourself," the old man said, eyes sparkling with unearned faith. "The Dao of Slack is revolutionary. You are living proof that one can cultivate without effort, sweat, or purpose. If we brand it properly, we might actually attract new disciples!"

New disciples?

Kaito blinked. The Broken Heaven Sect currently had less than twelve members, and three of them were technically livestock.

"You want me to run… recruitment?"

"More like creative marketing," Li Youzi said. "You'll head our Public Relations Department. That's just you. And the chickens."

"I don't know how to market a sect. I barely market myself out of bed."

"Which is exactly why you're perfect."

Kaito stared at the chickens, who were now pecking the sect's emergency rice scroll.

He sighed.

"Fine. But I want hazard pay."

The sect master laughed. "We don't pay anyone."

"Then I want a window."

"You have three."

"They don't have walls."

"That's called 'natural airflow.' Very trendy."

Kaito gave up.

[New Side Quest: "Rebrand the Trash Sect"]

Objective: Create a recruitment pitch that convinces at least one outsider to join.Reward: Slack Points +2, Improved Reputation, One Actual Chair.Penalty: Continued poverty.

He scratched his head.

"Okay, step one. What do all those flashy sects have that we don't?"

A passing disciple tripped over a rock. His wooden sword snapped in half.

"...Other than competence."

Over the next few days, Kaito observed the sect.

The outer disciples were all rejects: one guy snored mid-meditation and drooled on his robes, another tried alchemy by boiling random herbs until the cauldron exploded, and a third mistook sword training for interpretive dance.

They weren't warriors.

They were walking insurance claims.

But that gave him an idea.

[System Notification: Slack Skill "Rebrand Reality" Unlocked.]

Effect: Words spoken with zero effort may temporarily convince others of blatant lies.Duration: 30 seconds.Cooldown: 1 hour.

He grinned.

"Let's put this to work."

One Week Later…

A group of confused cultivators stood at the gates of the Broken Heaven Sect, reading a handmade banner strung between two bamboo poles:

"Now Recruiting! Join the World's First Effort-Free Sect!"

A smaller line underneath read:

"Guaranteed Enlightenment in Your Sleep."

One girl whispered, "Is this… satire?"

A nervous guy next to her muttered, "No, my cousin said he heard a guy here ascended during a nap."

That was technically true.

Kaito had dozed off during a thunderstorm and absorbed a lightning tribulation while dreaming of ramen.

Then he stepped out.

Lazy grin. Robes half-tied. A chicken perched proudly on his shoulder.

He gestured vaguely toward the courtyard where someone was floating mid-air… in a hammock.

"Welcome to the Broken Heaven Sect," Kaito said. "We specialize in Low-Effort Ascension. Why strain your meridians when you can recline into enlightenment?"

A few of the new cultivators chuckled.

"Is this a joke?"

Kaito activated his skill.

[Rebrand Reality – Activated.]

"No joke," he said calmly. "All other sects are distractions. Here, we embrace the true Dao—the path of least resistance."

His voice echoed.

The wind shifted.

Even the chickens stopped clucking.

The newcomers blinked, eyes wide.

For 30 seconds, Kaito's nonsense sounded like wisdom from a sage who'd personally rejected the heavens.

One of the new guys nodded in awe. "That… actually makes sense."

Another wiped a tear. "I've been working too hard for nothing. Maybe this is what I need."

By the time the skill ended, four people had already filled out handwritten application forms.

Kaito blinked. "That worked?"

Li Youzi peered over the gate, clutching his beard. "That worked."

[Quest Complete: "Rebrand the Trash Sect"]

+2 Slack Points Earned.+1 Reputation (Barely Functional Cult).Reward Claimed: One Actual Chair (Unpainted).

Kaito plopped onto his new chair, which immediately collapsed.

He lay flat in the courtyard, eyes on the sky.

"Why does success feel like failure with extra steps?"

A chicken sat on his chest.

Across the sect, Elder Li began constructing a new sign:

"Home of the Lazy Immortal — Kaito, Sage of the Unbothered Way."

Kaito groaned.

"Don't brand me. I'm allergic to expectations."