The Assassin Who Came for Soup

Hook: When Death Comes in a Hooded Cloak

It was midnight when the killer arrived.

No thunder. No explosions. Just a soft breeze, followed by a faint pressure that made the cicadas fall silent.

Mu Lian froze, sensing it instantly. "Killer. High-level. No aura."

Fang Mei perked up, bowl of soup in hand. "Do we invite him to dinner?"

Mu Lian frowned. "He's here to kill our Sect Master."

"Again?" I sighed from inside the hammock. "Didn't we just deal with a divine beast last week?"

Mu Lian drew her sword. "This one isn't here to be tamed."

Fang Mei set down her soup and walked toward the gate.

"…But what if he's hungry?"

The Blade in the Mist

The assassin stepped from the shadows — a tall figure in black robes, face hidden, blade thin as a whisper.

A badge shimmered faintly on his chest:"Silent Crescent Guild – Rank: Nightshade"

Mu Lian's eyes widened.

"Nightshade Class… They're elite. No emotion. No hesitation. No—"

"—Soup?" Fang Mei offered, holding out a steaming bowl.

The assassin paused.

"…What?"

"It's lotus root and pork belly. Heals minor wounds. Boosts focus. Also very comforting."

The assassin stared at her.

"I came to kill the Sect Master."

Fang Mei tilted her head. "You should eat first. Killing's exhausting."

"…Is this a trap?"

"No," I said from behind him, sipping my own bowl. "It's just Tuesday."

A Conversation Over Soup

The assassin sat — very cautiously — across from me under the moonlit pavilion.

He didn't lower his guard, but he did take a bite.

His eyes widened slightly.

"…This is good."

"I know," I said. "Our cook cultivates through flavor."

He chewed in silence.

"You're not what I expected," he said finally.

"I get that a lot."

"You sleep in a hammock."

"Correct."

"You run no drills, no formations, no war halls."

"Also true."

"You don't even use spiritual intimidation."

"I prefer ambient confusion."

He took another bite.

"…Who are you?"

The Dao of Inverse Threat Levels

"I'm the Sect Master of Broken Heaven," I said. "Kaito, Disciple of the Dao of Minimal Motion."

He blinked.

"…That sounds fake."

"It is. But it works."

He studied me carefully.

"You're not strong."

"I'm strong enough."

"You've tamed a demonic grandmaster and a heavenly beast."

"They tamed themselves. I just provided snacks."

He set his spoon down slowly.

"…I don't understand you."

"That's the idea."

System Notification

Assassin Exposure DetectedClass: Nightshade Executioner (S-Grade Threat)Kill Order: Issued by the Hall of Inevitable CorrectionReason: "Threat to Traditional Cultivation Order"

Host Response Options:— A) Fight— B) Flee— C) Befriend— D) Offer Internship

I chose D.

Assassins Have Burnout Too

"So what's the Hall paying you?" I asked casually.

The assassin hesitated.

"…Five thousand mid-grade spirit stones."

"Per month?"

"No. Total."

Mu Lian choked. "They're sending elite killers for five thousand stones?!"

The assassin looked down. "Budget cuts. There's been some... layoffs. Morale's low."

Fang Mei handed him a second bowl.

"We can't pay much either," she said kindly. "But you can nap in the courtyard and nobody will bother you."

He blinked.

"…Seriously?"

"We've got divine beasts and emotional support dumplings."

He lowered his hood slightly.

"…This sect is cursed."

"Yes," I agreed. "With peace."

System Update: Assassin Conflicted

Target shows signs of loyalty shiftNew Trait Unlocked: "Hesitant Murderer"Sect Reputation +10: "Safe Space for Swordsmen"

A Duel, For Appearances

"To maintain protocol," the assassin muttered, standing, "we must at least pretend to fight."

"Sure," I said, rising.

"Mu Lian?" he asked.

"She'd beat you."

"Fang Mei?"

"She'd feed you until you surrendered."

"…So you?"

I raised my hands lazily.

"Let's make it dramatic. You swing, I dodge, you fall into the koi pond."

"…You've done this before."

"More than I care to admit."

The Most Casual Duel in Cultivation History

We stood on the moonlit platform.

He slashed.

I leaned.

He tripped.

There was a splash.

The koi scattered.

System Notification:

Combat Encounter: ConcludedResult: "Spiritually Drenched, Emotionally Enlightened"Nightshade Assassin – Status Changed: "Considering Retirement"

Aftermath: One More Lost Soul Recruited

The assassin stayed the night.

In the morning, he helped Fang Mei pick herbs. By afternoon, he was cleaning his blades while humming.

That evening, he asked for a sect robe.

Mu Lian stared at me, expression unreadable.

"You're building a sect of wandering misfits, nap addicts, and confused enemies."

"Exactly."

"Do you even have a goal?"

"Not dying."

"…You're impossible."

"But well-fed."

Final System Message

New Member Added: ??? (Name Pending)Class: Assassin/Tea NovicePassive Ability: Scares Away Debt CollectorsUnique Bonus: Reduces chance of sneak attacks during nap time by 85%.