Chapter 5: The Rise of Sage Mode Dick god
A week later, in the underground base, seated upon the same stone chair where Madara Uchiha had once sat before his death, Obito slowly opened his eyes.
The crimson light of his scarlet Mangekyo reflected in the darkness like a glowing curse... sharp and filled with coldness.
"Whew… So this counts as Sage training, huh?"
A small smile tugged at his lips. He could feel it...the natural chakra flowing through him.
Sage Mode.
After all, Sage Mode and natural energy had been something he once only knew through anime...just lore, fantasy, another power-up on a screen. But now?
He had it for real.
That legendary power-up Naruto fans wet themselves over.
The Devouring Coffin had done more than just erase Black Zetsu...it absorbed natural energy, refining it, and pumping it through Obito's body like chakra steroids.
Ordinary chakra came from blending physical and mental energy. But Senjutsu chakra?
That was the big leagues. It required balancing three forces: natural energy, physical energy, and mental energy, all in a 1:1:1 ratio.
Screw it up? Get turned into a frog statue.
Too much natural energy? Go full Mount Myōboku Gargoyle Mode.
The only ones in the original anime who could somewhat cheat that balance were Jugo and Hashirama.
People like Jugo and Hashirama had managed to host natural energy in their bodies due to rare circumstances or freakish genetics, but even Jugo couldn't fully handle it without side effects.
When his body used Sage energy, he turned inhuman...warped, unstable, wild with madness... and Hashirama? Well, he was just built different.
"And now… so am I."
The Devouring Coffin didn't just give him power. It purified the chaotic natural energy into something stable. Controllable. Stored neatly in his body.
Which meant one thing:
Instant Sage Mode.
Any time. Anywhere.
By clapping his hands. Instantly. Just like Hashirama Senju.
"Forget it. Natural energy is natural energy. Sage Mode's just another trump card now."
He reached into his storage space and pulled out a deep red item, glowing faintly with potent energy... the result of absorbing Madara Uchiha's corpse using the Devouring Coffin.
Without hesitation, he threw it into his mouth.
Crunch.
It dissolved immediately as it entered his body, merging with his chakra network and bloodline.
He already knew what this was.
Two new abilities, born from the Devouring Coffin:
1. Blood Demon Art
Devours flesh and blood to enhance his physical stats... chakra quality, bloodline power, bodily resistance, all of it. It made him a walking, regenerating demigod.
2. Soul Devouring Art
This was the true predator skill. It allowed him to consume other people's souls, not just for power, but to push his own spiritual level beyond human limitations... toward the scale of the Otsutsuki.
Of course, absorbing a soul wasn't instant. Souls were stubborn. They resisted.
But if both methods were used together?
It could be done faster.
The tradeoff? It burned energy like crazy.
"Hoo... Damn. Took long enough."
A day later, Obito opened his eyes again.
"Hmm… the Hashirama cells in my body are finally fully fused."
Until now, his right side had been composed almost entirely of Hashirama's flesh, stitched on, barely balancing with his Uchiha lineage.
But now?
His body had accepted it completely.
The fusion created a true Sage Body. One that no longer fought itself internally. His chakra had expanded dramatically. The disfigured right half of his face had been fully restored.
The Uchiha bloodline felt more at home in his body. Mangekyo control was smoother, and the chakra cost of his Dōjutsu had dropped significantly.
It was during that time he felt something else...a tight, dangerous knot in his chest had vanished.
The curse mark Madara had placed on his heart?
It had been consumed. Completely devoured by the natural energy and new cells in his upgraded body.
And as a final touch, Obito had re-implanted the Mangekyo Sharingan he had reclaimed from Kakashi.
"It's a pity Madara's eyes were only regular Three Tomoe Sharingan… the boost was small."
"Still not enough to reach Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan..."
He sighed slightly but didn't worry too much.
There was still time to grow.
There were still enemies to hunt.
Suddenly, Obito's face turned thoughtful.
And now… for a much more pressing matter.
He paused.
Then yanked his pants down.
"Absolutely… BIG."
He switched to Japanese on instinct, practically yelling it through the underground base.
And for the first time, he was fully satisfied.
Obito Uchiha had officially maxed out the meat slider. The Weapon of Mass Destruction was ready for deployment.
"Zetsu!!"
A familiar pale head popped out from the ground.
Obito stood, stretched his now-perfect body, and reached out to grab Madara's old Gunbai fan.
"Let's go. We're heading to the Hidden Rain Village."
The Land of Rain.
Torrential downpours 24/7, located at the junction of Fire, Earth, and Wind countries.
It was the battlefield capital of the Elemental Nations... surrounded by the Grass, Birds, and River nations. Constant war. Constant death.
And now?
Obito was here.
He and White Zetsu stood at the edge of a cliff, rain cascading around them as they gazed into a nearby cave where three figures stood.
"See that red-haired brat?" White Zetsu said, pointing. "He's using Madara's real eyes. Had them implanted as a kid. Now he's the only one who can summon the Outer Path Statue."
Obito nodded casually.
But inside?
'Man… standing up high, scheming in the rain, getting live commentary from your side kick... this hits different.'
'I love this shit.'
He exhaled slowly.
'Now for the finishing touch… acting cool as hell.'
"Right now, he's the only one who can summon the Outer Path Statue. If you want to control Nagato, then—"
Obito didn't let him finish.
He pulled out a white mask he'd bought on the road, slid it on, and casually walked straight toward the cave.
"Where are you going?!" Zetsu said while tilting his head.
"Just saying hi," Obito replied.
'And maybe say what's up to that fine-ass Konan while I'm at it.'
"Shouldn't we make a plan first?" Zetsu whispered nervously.
Obito stopped and glanced back.
"Nagato doesn't even have a will of his own right now. And as long as that orange-haired guy is around, we'll never convince him."
Zetsu looked down at the trio inside the cave, eyes landing on Yahiko.
"So… that means...?"
Obito's voice lowered.
"Heh… In order for Nagato to follow our script…"
"That guy has to die."
"But not by our hands."
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