Gordon_Lam_1917

In the year 3042, reality is unstable, space janitors are elite, and the universe is just one bad decision away from turning into a sitcom. Enter Captain Bazook—a caffeine-fueled ex-hacker with questionable leadership skills—and his crew aboard Plunger XIV, the galaxy’s least functional maintenance vessel.

After accidentally activating the Quantum Blender—a top-secret engine that scrambles space-time like breakfast eggs—Bazook and his sentient toaster sidekick, Crumb, must fix the fabric of reality before it collapses into cosmic chaos. Along the way, they’ll survive interpretive alien languages, bureaucratic planets, rogue AI jazz concerts, and romantic entanglements across dimensions.

A hundred chapters of galactic absurdity await, each messier than the last. Will Bazook save existence? Or will he accidentally reboot it as a romantic comedy starring cows?

Quantum Stupidity

The wormhole, according to official star maps, was classified as "Temporally Unstable and Emotionally Suspect." Carlton Zorp, armed with a producer's hat and zero understanding of causality, declared it the perfect filming location.

Bazook objected. Deborah glitched her approval. Vicki smirked from inside a glittery clipboard labeled "Executive Chaos."

The show—titled Realities of Carlton—followed his life inside the wormhole's fragmented loops, broadcast in real-time across 17 dimensions and a particularly dramatic fridge magnet society.

🎭 Carlton's Confessional Corner: He tearfully discussed his relationship with time, socks, and the espresso pod Todd, all while slowly rotating in reverse.

🧠 Challenge #1: Emotional Jenga Against Your Past Self: Carlton lost, twice.

🔥 Cooking With Metaphors: Carlton grilled quantum regrets and served them over ambiguity sauce. Vicki threatened to trademark the recipe.

🎤 Deborah's Live Commentary: Delivered in interpretive emoji, translated by Bazook with increasing concern.

Audience favorites included Carlton attempting to marry a concept ("I now pronounce myself committed to confusion") and Bazook's reluctant guest appearance in an episode titled "Captain's Log: I Regret This."

Drama escalated when a sentient wormhole echo sued for defamation, claiming Carlton's show misrepresented its emotional depth. Legal proceedings were broadcast live, gaining massive ratings in the Nostalgia Nebula.

The season finale featured a musical number performed by Carlton and his alternate selves—each dressed as a different narrative device, backed by Vicki's croissant ensemble. Deborah dropped glitter bombs coded with emotional subtext.

The wormhole collapsed from dramatic exhaustion. Carlton floated back into the Quantum Blender holding a trophy shaped like unresolved tension. Bazook toasted him with lukewarm juice. Vicki pitched Season 2: "Carlton: The Spin-Off Nobody Predicted." Deborah uploaded bloopers under "Reality Is Overrated."

Carlton whispered, "I think I found myself. Or someone with my haircut." The universe sighed.

Chapter 16: Carlton’s Reality Show Inside a Wormhole