Jo’Fratini

This is my first time writing a novel criticism, and honestly, I don’t even know where to start. The story feels confusing more often than it should. The whole situation with Aurora being in another body isn’t handled clearly, and it becomes hard to follow who is actually speaking or what’s really going on. The dialogue doesn’t help either—it feels unnatural, repetitive, and sometimes exaggerated to the point where it doesn’t sound like real people talking. On top of that, the story keeps telling us that Aurora is incredibly intelligent, but it rarely shows it in a convincing way. There’s also a pacing issue. Most of the scenes are just characters talking without much actually happening, which makes parts of the story feel slow, while other important moments feel rushed. The tone keeps shifting between serious and casual, which breaks immersion, and many of the side characters don’t stand out enough to feel memorable. And I’m not even gonna lie, some parts genuinely feel like they were generated by some random AI and then slightly edited, because the structure feels weirdly polished but still off at the same time. Right now, the story has an interesting concept, but the execution is holding it back badly.