Chapter 18 ~ Cuts

Kai puts his hand out to me and I take it as Kiatsu let's me go.

"Don't get comfortable I'm coming back." I say. We walk outside.

"Hey I know it looks bad." Kai starts. "But it isn't."

"It isn't!" I yell and take his arm and pull down his sleeve. "This isn't!" I snap.

"Why do you care so much?!"

"Kai because I love you!" I snap. "I love you.....and you didn't even tell me....and you told Sakura.....Ok I get it but you told her and didn't tell me.....if it was me you would know right away...and so would Sakura.....I would tell both of you...." I say as a choke back the tears.

"Aiko...I didn't tell you because if I did we both know what would happened. You would shut down. You would be there for me and not yourself. You would put me first. And I couldn't do that to you. So, I told Sakura and I told her I would tell you but I didn't." He explains.

"That's my choice." I say. "How I handle this is my choice."

"And it was mine to keep it from you!" He snaps. "You don't think I love you....you don't think I have hope that things would be perfect....you don't think my one wish is you would take care of yourself for once..." He starts to cry. I give him a hug.

"I love you." I whisper in his ear.

"I love you too." He says.

"You need to tell me these things Kai. Or else your gonna hurt me more."

"But we all know what you do.....we all know how you act.....you stay strong for others....I barely ever seen you cry maybe once or twice your a strong one and its too much...you hide your feelings...." He says.

"I don't." I say slowly as I pull away.

"Yes you do and I love you too much to do that to you."

"Why do you worry so much about me..." I say.

"Because if you corrupt.....You hurt her..." He says as he opens the door and gestures to Sakura and closes it again.

"Wait...Kai....." I say shocked he brought her into this....What do you mean....I get it now...."You weren't protecting me...You were always protecting her....." I want to cry the thought he never cared....that he only loved and cared about me to keep Sakura safe....I'm not jealous.....just I can't believe this is true.....

"Aiko....I was protecting you because I love you but I was mostly trying to protect her....." He says. A million questions popped in my head. Why? What does she have to do with me? Why is she the default? Why are you protecting her from me? Do you not love me? Was this all just a lie?

"I.......Was this all fake.......Was it all just a lie......" I say. It all feels like a lie it feels like my heart is breaking.

"No what never! Aiko I love you! I just thought if you don't break or if you stay strong and then finally shatter so will she....." He says. At the time I felt betrayed even though I knew he loved me.....I know he loves me....Yet at the time I felt like nothing.

"I knew it...You love me but come on you always are there for Sakura." I say.

"Well you always have Tasaku." He says. Yes I do....He is always there for me.....Right now I cant talk to him his phone doesn't have any service because he is on a cruise. Tasaku and Kai always gave me attention but Tasaku was there way more because Kai would take care of me and Sakure Tasaku always picked me.

"What's with you and Sakura anyways." And then it all made sense...