When Time Stops Ticking
Author: FallingFromSanity
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As children they were told the sun will set at night and rise in the morning, but they know that’s a lie. Oscuro has taken over and they are all trapped. The sun has set for good and no one can save them unless they are able to find the Sol'eta. Without the Sol'eta there’s no running from the darkness and the monsters within. Nonetheless they light fires surrounding their camps. It keeps the Astibos at bay, creatures that dwell in the dark, but it will not last for long. They are getting closer and closer. Oscuro was, at one time, kind but he has always been deceitful. He has grown stronger and no one can stop him. They are all doomed. The Sol'eta is their only hope.
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This is the first review i ever wrote and there is a good chance it will be last. Mind you i am writing this as a form of encouragament to the author (as this is written with only chapter 1 out) English is not my first language as well as writing this on a train will most likely create a few errors, for that i am sorry. A few things i am not able to talk about sutch as pace takes 20 chapters to get a feel, 50 to understand and 100 to fully judge. What liked: As we drop into the story it feels like worldbuilding has been done and can be refrenced in conversations. As a D&D DM i can not tell you how important this point is to not create problems in causality. You can only experience it yourself. The starting quote is actually from a real person who said/wrote sutch a thing. Your MC is unic and as your username suggests in its own way insane (as most of us are in a diffrent way). Things i can understand: In this chapter you brushed over a few points and some minor things felt out of character. If those are not out of character it draws darker pictures then you may intend. What i am refering to is the followage of the mage (cant look up the name without deleting everything i just wrote). You mest up perspective once. Do prove read. Luther king ( i think it was) does it by writing something and prove read something a month later as you can then loom more objectivly on your own work. This is a webnovel so not a lot of details are required . The current level feels good. Things i find ify: The part of arriving at the cartographs tend to getting to the mage camp felt ... off. I cant describe the feeling well. I gave the novel 5 stars as any other review will just cause people to not even spare it a glance when rhey are browsing. I wish you good luck with your project and i hope you keep writing the story without pressure from external forces. Dont add anything because "people like it". Write for youself and not for others. I wish you a good day and a healthy mind.