Heart's content

Soon, seven years passed, and we were almost at the end of middle school.

James Weeners was already a heart-throb among the girls and there was no limit to how many confessions he received. I, on the hand, never had any such things. Moreover, the girls came to me for help because they I was adopted into his family. It was a very angering situation. Girls who were not all beauty and brains than I was would receive a bunch of roses every valentines and I would have only one, from James.

There were even times when I would get pissed with all the love letters he would get and I would say, "Why doesn't anyone see me? Even that Sarah got a letter."

"What? Jealous? Don't worry, I won't even open these," he said referring to the three letters inside different shades of pink envelops he was given that day. Then he dropped them into the garbage bin. If it was me, I would probably treasure such letters.

A little later, I asked him, "James?"

"Yeah?"

"What will happen if a best friend confesses to the other?"

"If it is you and I that you're talking about, then I think it will be great," he said.

"I think I love you," I told him. The feeling of wanting to be with him for the rest of the time started the day he first visited me at the orphanage.

"You do, and I love you too." Then he walked nearer, "Promise me it'll be the two of us," he asked.

"Promise."

But was that really possible? "I'm technically your sister," I said. We were old enough to understand certain things.

"Adopted." He stressed. "What I asked them was that I wanted you to be with me forever. There will be no one to point on that," he said. Were things really that simple? But listening to him say those words was all I needed.

"You have done so much for me," I was very thankful.

"I did more for you," he said and reached his school bag. He pulled out another bunch of letters and handed them to me, "Your letters."

I had letters? I gave him an incredulous look. "I could not let others ask you before I get a chance myself." He smiled toothily saying that. I did not say anything, but if someone said they did not know what love was, I would explain the feeling I had right then, falling too deep in love.

The early phases of life made me a calm and composed person. It was very true that James, mom and dad were always by my side. But, I was to shoulder the pain of losing the whole family myself. That only made these precious people sad. I learned to stay happy and positive for them. Gradually, my control over my emotions was great. I stared at the letters before sitting down and reading each one slowly.

"Hey, Jessie?" He slowly started and I could hear the apprehension in his voice. I did not turn to him because I did not want to show him my smile already. I nodded and he continued, "You are not upset, are you?" I still did not reply. It was probably the happiest moment of my life, and if I spoke, he would know how happy I was from my mere voice. I was ecstatic.

"You promised Jessie. Throw them away," he said and tried to grab my letters and that was when I showed him my joyous face.

I held on to my letters tight, "I want to read them. Don't disturb. And don't you think that you owe me an apology?"

"Nope, I don't. Indeed, you should be thankful. If not for me, your very honest friend, you would not even know they existed." He laughed. "Give them back after you read to your heart's content. I should tear them into pieces to my heart's content later."

I smiled, "Sure! What would I do with these?" I will just read them, take note of the senders. That was all.

"Good," he said before kissing my cheek and sitting down beside me. The sweet gesture was nothing new; the first time was the second week after joining in the primary school.

I read the first letter. It was from a boy from my class and it said about how cute my nose was and how he liked my intelligence and so on. I finished reading it and handed it to James. He soon tore it off without checking any details and put the pieces on the table beside. The next letter's fate was the same. After we finished with all the letters, he collected the pieces and dropped them in the dust bin.

It was a beautiful day. Before going to bed, I took out a bright green coloured paper and wrote the day's date and started filling it with everything I wanted to remember. Someone knocked on my door. I turned my head to see James standing there with his palms in his pant pockets. I did not get up from my chair and turned back to my lovely paper and continued to write.

"Jessie!"

"What? The door's open!" We used to sleep together with our parents during primary school. As middle school started, we had different rooms for the both of us.

"You have my book in your bag, now get up and give it."

"Take it." What was his problem?

"Can't you give it?"

"No." Can't he walk in and take it if he needed it so much. I didn't want to get disturbed. And what will he really do it at this hour? I had thought.

"Fine," he said and went back. He was weird. I didn't bother to check for whatever book. Why bother whose is with who when we sit side by side?

After I completed writing down and I was satisfied, I went to sleep.