I am the blue ninja the game is a bit of a new one of the most important thing is that the first thing you can also be used to be a good time to time to time to time to time to time to time to time to time to time to time to time to time to
6 years ago
1
Forsaken1
Writing Quality, it turns out Raven is not a talking bird... It is a bit abnormal to have a female name, as a male MC... 1 Capital letter in his first chapter! no not lying its true.
He has more capital letters in his review than his first chapter...
Writing Quality, it turns out Raven is not a talking bird... It is a bit abnormal to have a female name, as a male MC... 1 Capital letter in his first chapter! no not lying its true.
He has more capital letters in his review than his first chapter.................
Stability of updates, sense the novel has just started, no comment.
but sense each chapter is about 300-500? words and he wrote 6 total
2/3 chapters a week? that is extremely slow....
story development.. It might be there, but I cant really understand what im reading, so you get a 3
Character design... I thought your MC was a talking bird, somehow you made him less interesting to me... two poor kids, which no goal or objective, its pretty empty---- I made the same mistake.
World Background-- its a bit to early and his chapters are too small. id give him a 4 sense, I see signs of it being thought out.
7 years ago
0
viko96
The chapters are short, comedy is there.
The plot is genius. No harem.
Releases will take time but im going to do what i can.
Im open for feedback.
Recommended to read? Yeah absolutely!
I am the blue ninja the game is a bit of a new one of the most important thing is that the first thing you can also be used to be a good time to time to time to time to time to time to time to time to time to time to time to time to time to
Writing Quality, it turns out Raven is not a talking bird... It is a bit abnormal to have a female name, as a male MC... 1 Capital letter in his first chapter! no not lying its true. He has more capital letters in his review than his first chapter... Writing Quality, it turns out Raven is not a talking bird... It is a bit abnormal to have a female name, as a male MC... 1 Capital letter in his first chapter! no not lying its true. He has more capital letters in his review than his first chapter................. Stability of updates, sense the novel has just started, no comment. but sense each chapter is about 300-500? words and he wrote 6 total 2/3 chapters a week? that is extremely slow.... story development.. It might be there, but I cant really understand what im reading, so you get a 3 Character design... I thought your MC was a talking bird, somehow you made him less interesting to me... two poor kids, which no goal or objective, its pretty empty---- I made the same mistake. World Background-- its a bit to early and his chapters are too small. id give him a 4 sense, I see signs of it being thought out.
The chapters are short, comedy is there. The plot is genius. No harem. Releases will take time but im going to do what i can. Im open for feedback. Recommended to read? Yeah absolutely!