CLOUD NINE

I got back from the hospital, I was feeling normal,my aunts came to see me I saw my mom giving them that eye that don't talk about whatever happened you know. The doctor reduced the dosage of my pills so I wasn't always in a state of oblivion now, I thought about it,about everything. What was wrong with me it was just a crush.How did it get so bad in just a few days. I realised maybe it was stress from all the studying maybe it was just my health deteriorating, I get ill quite alot, it was just bad health and I thought I was dying. So what if I liked girls a little, and what if it was just a phase, maybe If I get into a relationship with a boy I'd probably forget all about her. I was actually trying to make myself feel better, and I did. I went to college, after like 3 weeks off. Half of my depression faded when I stepped in my class my class mates coming up to me telling me they missed me or whatever. I forgot about Light for a second I was laughing, having fun and then suddenly the teacher barges in, and Light followed in, with her usual slightly smiling face.There she was all confident and elegant. She looked so complete, not a worry in the world. She always looked really settled and strong,like everything was in her control and I wished may it always stay that way, may she have nothing to cry for, and may god give her everything she ever desired for. Not a second had passed since she came in and I was thinking about all this and suddenly she caught my eye. We stared each other like we always did till she sat down on her seat. And Literally after seeing her after such a long time it just made me smile effortlessly. I just fail to understand what was so special about her, well everything. Every little thing she did mattered so much too me. I just wanted to know her more was that so bad. Why couldn't she give me just a few moments of her precious time. I knew basically everything about her siblings,fathers occupation etc it wasn't that hard for me to find out stuff like that. But that was different, I wanted to know what kind of music she liked, what she loves to do. What were her goals in life. Did she like tea better then coffee like me? Did she have any obsession you know normal things like that. Why couldn't I have that with her. I was so envious of the people she talked to. In the maths class she turned around and asked for a blue marker. No one in the row behind her had one nor did I. I just so wanted to give her a marker. I asked in my row and behind me and found one and gave it to her with a smile, and she actually smiled back at me oof it felt so good. I could feel butterflies in my stomach. How a smile from your most loved one could do that to you. I literally couldn't stop smiling that whole day. In the lunch break Talia came to my class, and we were headed to the basketball court our territory. On the way she said she kinda had something to tell me she was very excited. And then she told me how Light had been asking around for me when I was sick and wasn't coming to college. And of course no one knew except for my friends I was very private, so she had no choice but to ask Talia. Talia told her that I was a just sick and will be back in a few days and told her not to worry with a grin. Light knew she'd tell me of course but she was just worried for me and had to take that chance, she was worried maybe something serious had happened, well it was serious alright. I couldn't believe my ears, damn I hadn't felt so good in ages. She actually asked for me. So she cared enough atleast. But accepting my request on Facebook wasn't such a big deal either. But right then I felt like I was on cloud nine.