We Can Trek It

Interesting start for the writing contest! The way the characters interacted made them feel real. I'm looking forward to seeing more and how you will integrate all parts of the prompt! There aren't any errors per se in grammar, but there are tons of awkward sentences and run-ons that could be split to sound better. Make sure to add a cover someday! Keep it up author! >3</

Love the conflict, can't wait to read what that raging guy is going to do next. Similar to the first chapter of your book, I sometimes had the feeling of you wanting to explain stuff rather than showing it with actions. Maby that's the style that will make you sucessfull, however, I think it feels kinda strange sometimes. Also, I think in the beginning there is a "long" time of storytelling without a mayor conflict - maby no problem for people that read a lot, for generation instagram with an attention span of a few seconds I think it could be a reason to stop reading before even coming to the interesting parts, though. But, definetly keep on writing these nice sayings or whatever you want to call them, like the black hole in the stomach or that thing with the rule of gravity, these little things make the not - so - exciting parts fun to read. Waiting for the next chapter... (:

Very nice story so far, I loved of how the characters interacted with each other, and it seems very lighthearted and fun. Great job on the story so far, and I hope for more updates in the future.

Although I'v only read one chapter, I believe this story should be more popular! Just by reading this, I can tell the author put a lot of time and effort into their work. And not to mention, I'm really enjoying the story so far. There are many characters introduced in the first chapter, and I got a feel for all of their personalities quite easily! I can't say much about the world background as it's only the first chapter, but I hope you guys will give this story a try. ^_^