ImmenseEgg

In the infantile state of a new universe were many creatures in their starting phase, one of which was a juice pouch and straw that would challenge any vegetables from the cabbage patch to a round of fisticuffs, ultimately overcoming them and absorbing their power, thus, it became formidable and left behind an entire and complete heritage behind. This being was later known to be none other but...The Succ Sage.

The self named Genius Gang, a group of intellectuals with knowledge far beyond the norm of this infantile universe then began to rise and found this heritage, allowing them to begin their ascent to the higher realms.

The Scrummy Bummy Lore is an incomprehensive, shortened archive of the real events that the Genius Gang went through on their path.

Translator's Note: As the best translator in the world, it is easy to assume that my translation will be complely on point, however, the Scrummy Bummy Lore, being written in the language of the Gods, was far too complex for even a genius like I to translate fully, as I, just like you, am a mere mortal. Please do read this novel with an open mind, keeping in mind that not only are there multiple meanings that we do not understand, but also many that can eventually be understood through comprehensive thought. I myself feel as though I have matured as not just a person, but as an entity in this vast universe that we call our home after reading this novel.

In short, I must say that if the human race ever evolves to the point where we can incorporate the Scrummy Bummy Lore into our national curriculum as the most significant subject, I can die knowing that humanity shall live on to achieve great things.

The Scrummy Bummy Lore

Barisherab Boi Boi wiped the wooden table in front of him, utilising Jos cots cherry flavoured coke spillages as a polish. It helped him drown out the constant, brutal debate that was partaking between two dapper individuals from the wil ly academy.


The dapper, well-spoken Ma'am advanced, "My good sir, I'll have you know that the answer to this question is 6.9!"


However, "Nay, 'tis 69!" the Gentle Gentleman retorted! 


He did so in such a fashion that Jos Cot spilt several thousand more litres of cherry cock on the table, to which he quoth "An improvement to the flavour no?.." and so, the licking commenced as the earth darkened, and the sound of slurping encompassed the solar system.


"As dark as cherry cola; is it not, kind sir?" Barisherab Boi Boi found that it was so dark he had to wear sunglasses just to see, lest he was to blind himself! 


Through seven days and nights, he searched through the darkness for the traces of the beacon of argument that emitted the sound of milk sound like a lighthouse for those souls lost in Jos cot's cherry cola darkness. In the darkness he milked, in the darkness, he peed...when suddenly...


Like silk in the wind, the curtains of inky black momentarily parted to reveal a sliver of light...Once again the words echoed:


"Y'alright Miss?... What's the point of R.E?"


Barisherab Boi Boi began to run towards the light, faster and faster! The closer he came to it, the louder the voice became, "I'm not a very religious person!"


Finally, he broke out of the darkness of cherry cola and stepped into the blindingly bright light of the fiery sun, vehemently uninhibited by the darkness of the void. He gazed up at the flaming orb of life for the clouds were incorporeal faced with the stunning egg.


'Ya'riight Miss, what's the point of R.E? I'm not a very religious person!" a fat little bowling ball of a year 8 pierced the ears of all those present. 


Only then did the teacher, ruler of the classroom, explode in mad rage and fury. "fuc right off u specky little twat" she dabbed, hit the whip, spun around and did a back flip, "suck your mum!.. S-u-c-k-y-o-u-r m-u-m!"


The fat little bowling ball was so terrified of the teacher that he peed his pants, not that he would let the onlookers of this vicious battle know that. Instead, he bobbed up and down and as the excess fat on his body flopped up and down, the words "Religion is a hoax!" encouraging a response from the fine gentleman from earlier.


"What?!" The notion that the fat kid had a point was simply absurd to Jos cot, and so, he released a torrential of pee upon the entire school solidifying the words said from here on out in history forever....
