ImmenseEgg

In the infantile state of a new universe were many creatures in their starting phase, one of which was a juice pouch and straw that would challenge any vegetables from the cabbage patch to a round of fisticuffs, ultimately overcoming them and absorbing their power, thus, it became formidable and left behind an entire and complete heritage behind. This being was later known to be none other but...The Succ Sage.

The self named Genius Gang, a group of intellectuals with knowledge far beyond the norm of this infantile universe then began to rise and found this heritage, allowing them to begin their ascent to the higher realms.

The Scrummy Bummy Lore is an incomprehensive, shortened archive of the real events that the Genius Gang went through on their path.

Translator's Note: As the best translator in the world, it is easy to assume that my translation will be complely on point, however, the Scrummy Bummy Lore, being written in the language of the Gods, was far too complex for even a genius like I to translate fully, as I, just like you, am a mere mortal. Please do read this novel with an open mind, keeping in mind that not only are there multiple meanings that we do not understand, but also many that can eventually be understood through comprehensive thought. I myself feel as though I have matured as not just a person, but as an entity in this vast universe that we call our home after reading this novel.

In short, I must say that if the human race ever evolves to the point where we can incorporate the Scrummy Bummy Lore into our national curriculum as the most significant subject, I can die knowing that humanity shall live on to achieve great things.

The Scrummy Bummy Lore

Where is your coccyx? Where is it? Just where, and just why after I tell you so many times to tell me your mouth remains shut like a stupid imbecile shut up, just shut up, just stfu


Yes I did it, and no, I don't regret it... 


Are you not afraid?...Do you not fear, that when you sit like that at such an angle and in such a position before me, that I'll release a high energy, high speed projectile with it's unstoppable trajectory colliding right into your vulnerable nutsack? 


Cos you're dumb, you don't think things through, you don't have the experience in life to have seen this coming. And not just that, but you've grown complacent, haven't you? After a lifetime of not having your ballsack being, quite frankly, mutilated by a slingshot made out of a balloon and a bottle cap, emitting a sweet bought from Aldi, you thought you were safe... Didn't you...


Yes...Scream, groan loudly, recoil in pain! For the rest of the hour you cross your legs and turn away from me, thinking that this pain will never come for you again..


But the darkness crawls...it lurks and closes in once more, for your ballsack under the table has been enshrouded in darkness, and so, is at the mercy of the darkness...


A pincer attack. I, and an avid supporter of the cause haunt you, we encircle you and entice you into uncrossing your legs, yet you steel your emotions!


...If only you could have steeled your nutsack...


Your right sleeve has been filled with midget gems along with the wrapper...Be afraid.


Your computer's power button is about to be pressed, resulting in the loss of all that work you had done on those, low quality, online flash games....Be afraid...


My weapon is taunt, teeming with malice; my malevolent gaze falls upon your face, distracting you for just one moment as I make the final adjustments on the angle of my powerful, juicy shot...Be afraid!


In the darkness, the spark of 2 midget gems leaving their launchers illuminates the room, but only for a split second! The midget gems have already travelled half the distance to their destined target. You scream. You cry.


One piece of gelatinous confectionary for each testicle; they land at once upon your nutsack, ramming relentlessly!


The aftermath is here. There were no screams. There were no tears. There was only the sound of the weapons firing, the sweets impacting upon your unguarded nuts, and willi longcaster's eternal rage:


Perilous Ballsacc