Chapter 9 : Wreckage

And just like that,

Life took on sort of a black and white theme.

Nothing ever really went the way it was supposed to, after what happened that day.

School suddenly got a whole lot harder to cope up with, and so did my studies.

Teachers became a little more aggressive ESPECIALLY at me, while parents couldn't stop with their never ending lectures.

Everyone seemed to have a problem with me....

......Or maybe I myself was the problem.

My grades ......I mean, umm...

... I guess they weren't that bad....

They were so bad.

I failed more than once in many tests and semester exams.

That's right FAILED.

It was never this way, I had no trouble with learning, heck I was a fast learner.

But this,

This was nothing like what I used to be.

My overall performance even in physical activities downed, apart from exams.

I started thinking negative thoughts,

Thought of doing negative stuff at times but, I knew there was nothing good I'd benefit from any of that.

I hit Malcolm one day, I guess I was really pissed off for him telling Rose everything.

We didn't talk for a long time, felt like we were some sort of enemies.

I was guilty, for I knew I did him wrong.

I didn't know what I was doing with life anymore.

It felt as if I had no goals, no ambition.

I started sleeping a lot, depression took its toll too.

I realized soon enough that it was all because I still kept thinking about her.

Trying to forget her seemed like an impossible task, get thoughts wouldn't leave my mind alone.

Part of me still had hope, didn't wanna let go.

I figured that was my heart, always making the dumb decisions.

And then the sane part of me, the brain, also kept echoing "Let go".

I honestly had no idea what to do.

Texting was VERY frequent now, and she got back to the "one word" replies again.

The only time I'd get to go to church was with my parents, which made it a whole lot harder for me to ever see her.

Nine days after was my birthday,

And I had this super cool haircut,

to which my school supervisor told me to shave off my head completely as a punishment for violating school rules on haircuts.

And for my birthday, I was BALD.

MY 16th BIRTHDAY WAS JUST SO SAD, since everybody kept tapping my head, and laughing at me.

I didn't want to go out either, I was just sad. Really sad. Felt lifeless infact.

This wasn't the way I wanted things to go.

I felt the tickling sensation on my cheek again,

Another tear.

I've been getting used to them lately, I guess.

Never was this way before.

Lying on my bed there, on my birthday

Everything was quiet.

      "What a way to celebrate my sweet sixteen" I thought.

I fell asleep.

A couple hours later:

*Notification rings*

I open my eyes, thinking,

" Probably another birthday wish or the Sim Customer care"

Yes indeed, t'was a birthday wish.

But not just anyone's.

I rub my eyes.

I stare EYES WIDE open to my screen.

A weird kinda joy fills my heart when I look at those beautiful words on my notifications bar.

My heart starts beating faster as I read....

"Rose D'Souza posted on your timeline"