[Bonus chapter] Loud Thoughts, Silent Truth

The day his father died was also the day Rei felt like a piece of him lost. He felt empty and didn't know how to fill that void in him. Nor did he know what it was, what he wants and what he was trying to find. Is it weird? Even though you have people around you who're willing to reach out to you. Yes, he has his uncle and aunt. There is also Yuu, but still, something is... Missing. And he was determined to find it.

Before he met Shiori and Yasuko, he had countless sex friends and went out of his way to have friends whom he admits are not the most pleasant influence, but it never felt wrong back then. After all, he did find the place where he could finally belong to. It didn't last long until he felt that emptiness again, which he couldn't pin out until he learned what it meant by his sex--- Ahem. Classmate.

"Say... Rei… Have you ever fallen in love with someone?" He asked him, grabbing tightly onto his wrist as he was stopped from wrapping his arms around the latter's neck. Ah... Love? Funny. He didn't have time to think about those types of things.

He can't help but scoff at the guy in front of him, grimacing. "What are you saying at a time like this? You're ruining the mood."

"Ah. Is that so? Forget about what I say then." He flashed a cheeky grin before he slowly leaned forward, kissing Rei's lips and letting him drape both of his arms on his shoulder 

Rei's fist tightened as he felt his body shiver when the cold air touched his skin, feeling cold despite how the pair of hot hands ran across his body to his back. He starts to moan a little while the guy in front of them keeps on kissing him, smirking as he tries to keep himself from the constant flashbacks inside his head. What type of flashbacks? It involves the feeling of a warm hand on his head. The kind of warmth spreads across his body and causes him to feel hot. He is starting to wonder why out of all the things he could remember... He remembered that one. It can't be. This isn't love. Or is it? 

"How dumb…" he whispered to himself, grinding his teeth in anger.

The man started kissing his cheeks, neck, and shoulder before asking. "Is something wrong?"

But instead of answering, he leaned towards the man and kissed him on his lips again. That's right. He learned that he fell in love with Haruo during that time. The emptiness he was trying to find was somehow filled with the warmth of the fact that he, Rei Nakamura, fell for Haruo Katsuragi. It is weird timing to realize it but is there even a time when his life didn't feel weird?

Years after which led to the current situation and years of Rei's, like what Shiori describes it, "undeniable idiocy", soft grunts and moans echoed across the living room they are both in. The awkwardness that once enveloped the room which a particular red hair caused was gone. 'Just because he asked him if Haruo liked him back...' His thoughts were cut off by the older man's groan from above him. Rei shivered as he felt one huge hand run through his soft hair before pushing his head down, causing him to moan on the person's penis. He squeezed his eyes shut, slightly wincing as he felt the head hit the back of his throat and making him drool on it.

Meanwhile, on the other hand, Haruo proceeded to guide Rei's head up and down his member. The red-haired slowly opens his eyes, looking up and seeing Haruo who had his head laid back on the sofa with his left arm draped on his face as he bit his lower lip and arch his back. Rei can't help but smirk, feeling confident about how much pleasure he is giving to the other man. Ahh. It's been like what? A week? Rei needed this. To feel Haruo close, to feel Haruo touching him and having the Alpha's attention on him.

"Haru..." Haruo raised a brow, slipping a hand under Rei's shirt.

Rei closed his eyes tightly, biting onto his lower lip as Haruo's right hand slowly went up to his stomach then up to his chest. The latter gasped, eyes flickering open when he felt a finger touching his hardened nipple. He noticed how much Haruo is still staring at him, his black eyes focusing only on him. Yes. That's what he wants.

"Aah! H-Haru!" Rei stuttered, biting his lower lip and gasping when he felt a hand grabbing his wrist as he was pulled onto the black-haired lap.

Rei automatically wrapped his arm around Haruo's neck and caressed his face. This man taught him everything. How good it feels when someone you love touches your skin. How good it feels to be kissed everywhere. If Haruo wants his body then he will give it to him... Happily. All because of this man. All for him. But is this enough? Is just touching, being by his side, and sleeping together enough? No. He wanted something more. But is it normal to be wanting more? Or is he being too demanding?

All of these thoughts were cut off by a pair of lips touching his neck. Sucking and licking up to his earlobe to nibble on it that he can't help but sigh in pleasure. He pulled back to stare at the Alpha's eyes, trying to find the answer to his eyes. Trying to find anything, just literally anything to make himself stay and continue to wait for him but instead, he found nothing. He found himself staring onto a blank, cold stare before realizing that the latter have curiously tilted his head and raised a brow at him.

'If this is love then why does it hurt so much? Why doesn't it feel right? Why does he feel lonely? Is this how love supposed to feel?' He scoffed at those thoughts. He knew there is no way he will get an answer from Haruo when he is trying to be like that, building a wall between them. And even if he did ask him those questions, the room will just remain silent. In contrast to how loud his negative thoughts are.