What I Did Was Wrong

I can finally say I am ready, they plead their loyalty to me and now I need to draw out something in my mind. But I am worried about why Odin hasn't said a word to plead his loyalty. It makes me wonder what is running in his mind. I had to speak with him as much as I hate it, he has been with me the longest, yet I know nothing of him.

"Psst, Odin are you awake?" I shake him

He moves to face me "what?" I pulled him off the ground "can we please talk?"

"Fine but make it quick I am exhausted" I glare at him and take a deep breath I walk towards the window cell and gesture to come over and he follows.

"So, what is this about?" he says, staring out the window

"There is something I must know that you have yet to tell me"

He tried so hard to evade eye contact, which made it so easy to tell he was nervous. I grab a hold of his hand smoothing my thumb over it softly "you must tell me what you saw Odin I have to know, how am I supposed to lead people if I still don't know who I am"

"Ok fine but before I tell you this, I have a question?" I looked around, Teresa and Eric started moving in their sleep because of the noise we were making.

"Alright, we must go outside first we are making noise" we both walk to the back door, stepping out onto the porch.

"Ok we are outside, now I need you to tell me what you saw" Odin stares at the wooden planks beneath us "Odin, please I have to know" I plead to him with worry. He takes a deep breath, looks around then looks back at me. "Avalin before I begin, I just want to first say I am sorry, I never meant to hurt you" he moves closer to me " I saw things I wish to unsee, I saw in your mind, I saw memories, and again I am sorry". I get closer to him as well " I understand, but why are you sorry now?"

"Because all I wanted from you Avalin was your blood, I... I just didn't want to die" he continues, "my life was failing me I was losing my sanity I even hurt Teresa and I owe her my life she sustained me for so long" I hugged Odin and just held unto him "I should have just asked you, maybe not in the beginning but once I made you understand I could have asked.." I interrupted him " I would have done it, Odin, I would have let you if you told me before I ever got captured"

I squeeze Odin tighter while the cool wind blows against our skin making us shiver. "Avalin, I was able to see your memories, the time I bit you,"

" I saw you as a child, your family left you but on purpose"

" Odin that I already knew, they left me for a greater cause" he lets go of me

" Yes, but that's not all, there was no friend's family you were abandoned"

"How is that even possible!?" I back up in shock.

"Avalin you were asleep, that's why you can't remember anything, that's why you actually don't know, you were in a deep slumber" I lunge myself at him and shook him from the flannels of his black coat "How do you know this, tell me!"

"Because when your family placed you, your vision had gotten hazy then the time had passed you were able to emerge from your sleep, taking shelter in that very house where I first found you years later". I fell to my knees crying

"Who am I!?" Odin kneels and comforts me "Avalin you are our future leader like your family intended for you, I know what I have done to you in my selfishness, I tried to keep you for myself but ever since that day I have been healed of my sickness" he holds me tightly " I have faith in you Avalin, now that I have given you both worlds you have more power than anyone can imagine" Odin started to cry along with me. Although it made me feel better, Odin never told me about himself made me start feeling the same towards him and I didn't want that, so I was on the verge of opening my mouth and he stopped me saying

"Avalin I promise there will be no more secrets, there is no longer a reason to hide when you have already figured out my past intentions" he pushes my hair back and tucks it under my ear.

"Instead, I will tell you what you must know on my own, please trust me this once that is all I ask from you". I nod in response staring into his eyes

"Why do your eyes have a light orange hue to them" His eyes were like the color of Buring fire, beautiful yet destructive I liked it. I remembered when we first met his eyes seemed more red than orange, I started getting closer to get a better look. I was just kidding myself at this point, I found myself kissing him so deeply like I wanted him to be mine and he only shared the same emotion. I try not to indulge with him no matter if our feelings are true, but I always fail to keep my composure around him. I pulled on his flannel once again to pull him closer to me as the kiss was being to get deeply passionate as I traced my hand from his neck to his chest. I opened my eyes in shock pushing him away quickly

"Avalin what's wrong, I am sorry I thought you..."

" No no, we need to stop I can't do this right now"

"But you started it I was just..."

"I understand but this can't go on, I am sorry I wasn't in my right mind, it has been so long that I... never mind just let's go back" He surprisingly didn't ask any further questions. I am glad he didn't, there really wasn't an answer, I was simply confused by this feeling I didn't understand. Neither did I want to get involved, there was too much wandering in my mind about between Eric and Odin that right now wouldn't be the time to figure out what this is.

I walk away from him, closed the door behind me, and laid back down with everyone on their blankets fast asleep. From the window, I can see Odin resting his arms on the wood of the porch looking out into the forest with his dark hair blowing in the wind.