Chapter Twenty-four

| Why I Loved the Bad Boy |

I met him when I was sixteen. He used to be alone and aloof, but when he speaks his mind you just want to get drowned in them. When he sings you want to get lost to the wonders of his voice, and when he stepped on stage you just end up watching him in awe. At first I thought it was impossible to talk to him, because his eyes are always so dark, but when he smiled at me, for the first time, I realized there is so much of him just hidden behind his aura, and I had the desire to peel it off, to see what's within him – to know him.

We were both sixteen. Immature, so desirous of love and be loved. Running after things we knew we will enjoy. Discovering paths, crossing others, learning new things. As a sixteen I had little experiences, but the first time I cried in front of him, I knew a whole new world is there for me to be seen, and Sean held my hand and showed it to me. I faced my fears. I faced my longings. I faced love.

He'd taught me a lot of things. He'd shown me a lot of things.

Sean formed me into who I am today.

I am forever regretting what I did, for my stupid and wrong decisions, but seeing him on my wedding day, and his smile on the other side of the road, I feel satisfied. I longed for more, I did, but if it was just there that's left for us, and meant for us to have, then it is.

I loved him, and I think it's my most beautiful mistake.

Loving him was beautiful, as I've explored life, emotions and human connection, being free and how to chase happiness. Loving him was beautiful, it always will be, and it is something I will never ever regret.

Loving him was a mistake, because I didn't love him the way I should. I told him I loved him, but I acted against my words. It was a mistake because if I couldn't love him as beautiful as he did love me, I shouldn't have loved him in the first place.

Loving him was a beautiful mistake, because even if loving him brought me to so much dreadful heartbreaks, tears and hurting, it is beautiful because all the tears I've released and my broken soul were for him. For the love the both of us had.

I love him. Until now.

And maybe that will never change.

♥