CHAPTER 2 - HALF STEP AWAY!

"Will I be able to go Pune?..... Will I go against my parent's will?... How will baba react?.... Will aai be happy?" ‌All these questions kept hitting my head throughout the way.

I was completely unaware of my surroundings while heading to Shyam's place, someone pulled me back and I turned around... it was Shyam, he asked while breathing hard "have you lost your ears! I was at the store when I saw you coming..... I called you thrice but you didn't respond..... Is everything all right?" after a big pause I replied "I was coming to share a news with you, this time a bad one. "Bad news?... Even your face suggests that something wrong has happened.... tell me!" I replied in a low voice "I think... I think, I am not going to do MBA...." he interrupted me before completing the sentence by saying "what? are you serious" I completed my sentence after his interference. "....MBA from Pune, my parents are not willing to send me Pune", "aunty was ready I guess" He asked immediately, "Parents here means baba " I answered by putting more emphasis on the word 'baba'.

"So what's the reason" Shyam asked "l will tell you, when I get to know" I replied sarcastically. "What?.... dude I'm not getting, whatever you just said" I took a deep breath and uttered the full story. After telling him all the stuff, Shyam and I turned silent for the next 5 minutes, in a friendship like ours a silence of continuous five minutes was a big deal.

"Then, what next? He raised a question to eliminate the silence between us, "I DON'T KNOW" I replied him with almost a request for not repeating the question again without saying an extra word. which he accepted politely by saying "okay".

After scratching his head Shyam jumped up with an idea, he said "I have a cheap trick, which I used throughout my childhood for getting my demands fulfilled"

"Cheap Trick?... what kind of?" I asked "Look, stop having food, in front of your parents, act like you are on a hunger strike, and you'll continue it until unless you get the permission for going Pune"

"Really?... I'm not going to try this kind of shit. I won't lie to my parents no matter what" I replied by discarding his idea

"You can try fasting literally then, without lying to them, if your body can afford to" he advised with a 'caution' signal.

"Did you ever tried fasting or just acting? " I asked him "of course..... ..... NOT" and then we both bursted into laughter" Friends are the only creatures who possess the ability to make you laugh, even in the toughest times.

"Stop laughing..... how to start then?" I asked him "Do one thing, try it for at least two days, if it works, then you may continue"

"For how long?"

" ARISE AWAKE.... NO RICE AND NO FLAKES, KEEP FASTING UNTIL UNLESS THE GOAL IS REACHED" He replied like a motivational speaker, using the slogans of Swami Vivekanand with adding his own words, "As you say SWAMI SHYAMANAND" I replied him in his very own style and we both shared a smile and I left for home.

I didn't have much faith in his cheap trick, but still I was ready to do the experiment.

Later that evening, mom advised me to obey Baba's order, and do as he say, I didn't gave her a proper response. In spite of mum's hundred requests and orders, I also refused to have dinner, she also didn't eat anything. I spent all night thinking about doing MBA from the college I've applied for, I never felt hungry whole night, because worries were far more than the urge to eat. I slept almost at 3:50 am, probably the most delayed sleep that I ever had and I was introduced to the word "insomnia".

Next morning I had a sweet pain in my stomach which reminded that I've to win over my hunger and act a little stronger, I also googled 'how to live without food' and read a detailed article which helped me at the mental level, now it's turn for physical capabilities, I crossed fingers and told myself that 'I will do it' Suddenly mum came in and asked " Waken up? brush your teeths, breakfast is ready" I responded with a "hmm" and mum thought that my protest was over. But instead of having breakfast, I was about to leave home after getting ready, but mum stopped me asking "where are you going? come on have some poha, it's your favourite know"

"Aai, I'm in a little hurry, I am going to college for the TC and some degree work, my friend is waiting outside" I replied, mum gave a weird look and asked "where is your bag, I'm packing poha"

"No aai, I'll have something at the canteen" "stop arguing, just tell me where it is?" she interrogated like a CBI officer, "besides my bed" I replied politely. "I want this tiffin to be empty" she ordered and I left without giving a response. Usually I never say 'no' to food, because I was used to say 'no' to dishes. This was the first time I was saying no to poha, because I just love it.

Nonetheless, it was day 2 of my protest, and I came to college to pass an indirect message to my parents that 'I am going to Pune and I have started taking steps for completing the formalities' I was doing it, to show my intent.

I did all the college work in half an hour, my teachers were delighted to hear that I will be doing MBA from 'IBM Pune'.

Then I sat at the bank of our village river "Koyna", which pronounces as 'koi-naa' in hindi, and it means 'no problem'. Whenever I feel sad or tensed, I sit here and just observe nature quietly and keeps on asking, 'why?', and today I have a long list of 'whys', "Why baba, don't want me to go Pune?" do I have any threat over there, or the people in Pune are not so nice to the outsiders. Pune is a big city but a peaceful one, crime rates are also comparatively less. Then what can be the reason

Something then clicked my mind, I should ask Mannu uncle about this, he must know something, as he's working in our farms with baba for around 20 years.

I picked up my bag to leave, and heard the sound of steel spoon striking to the tiffin box.

I opened it took a spoonful poha, smelled it and then ate with a little hesitation, by the time I stopped chewing the first bite, it was decided that the second one will not be eaten.

I ate a spoon because, my mom has made efforts for it and with every spoon her love was served. This one spoon of poha acted like 'everything will be fine', the same phrase that mum used to say whenever anything goes wrong. .

In the next hour I was at the farm, Mannu uncle was talking with the labour about the irrigation system that baba just introduced into our farm, "Namaste (hello) kaka" I greeted him, "oh, Madhav, how come you visit here?" he asked, as I don't come here very often, "nothing much kaka, how're you by the way? "I'm good, how's is your studies going?" he replied, "Good, kaka... can i ask something?" I said

"Sure son" "baba never goes to Pune, is there any problem with Pune city" I raised my question. Kaka replied after scratching his head, "why are you asking this question?" "you tell me first... please" I requested, "Actually, I had the same question in my mind for the last 18 years, I asked your baba once, and he got very angry, which is just opposite to his nature, and he also told me to mind my own business. Since then, I never tried to ask him anything about Pune" he replied.

I knew that something was wrong with Pune for sure, and after hearing kaka it was confirmed (thinking)

"Do you know, this irrigation system can be purchased from Pune also, but your baba bought it from Nagpur instead, which caused an extra cost of 47,000.00 rupees." he added,

"What the hell" I replied, his last statement blew my mind, how stubborn my father is, I thought. Kaka asked "but why are asking all this, is everything all right? " "yes kaka, everything is good, I've to go now, see you later" "okay son" he replied.

After reaching home, I sat on my bed and started thinking about the whole scenario, and then mum started calling me, by my nick name "Madhu.. Madhu.. " "Ho Aai (yes mom) , I'm here in my room" I responded to her call. She entered the room with a glass of lemonade "College work finished?" "hmm" I replied while taking the glass, and she passed a smile, while opening my bag to get my lunch box "Poha was good? " I didn't replied, she took out the box and her smile faded "why is this not empty?" "I had a busy day in college, didn't get time to have it, I had samosa in the canteen with my friends" she replied after staring a while "Now you've started lying to your aai, good, very good" "No aai" I lied again.

She moved out of the room in anger and then stopped at the door and said something which puzzled me, she said "if you have already decided not to eat, then why opened the tiffin box" I think my mom is taking classes from Sherlock Holmes, don't know how but she got it right, how is this possible. After surprising me she went to the kitchen.

Then after thinking for while, that how did she came to know that I've opened the box, I was very curious to ask her"Aai... Aai where are you? " I said in a loud voice, she was in kitchen, but didn't replied. "Sorry aai" I added, she responded in a "Hmm"

"Aai, how did you get to know about the Tiffin? " I asked her with full curiosity. "I'm your mom, and mom knows everything! " She replied like an Indian cinema's mother. "I know that, but tell me the logic, how did you got it" I requested. "Okay, but we'll have lunch first, then only I'll tell"

"Aai, you know I won't... until baba tell me the reason of his denial or allow me to go." I stated "I'll talk to your baba about this in evening, but for now, we'll have lunch" "I won't eat if things get sorted, we may have dinner together" I stated again

"Eat 2 chapatis at least, I won't tell your baba, I'm at your side son. but I've to act neutral,. Everything will get fine by this evening, and if you don't eat, so will I" Mum said with a sense of emotional blackmail.

I replied with a big pause "Okay, but first tell me the 'lunch box mystery' ".

She said with a wide smile on her face "listen carefully, you know once you have were playing with the box, it fell down and had a lil crack on both it's cover and the base, when I've gave you the box, both cracks were at the same side of the corner. But when I checked your Tiffin after you returned, the cover's crack was on one side and base's crack on the other, which meant that you've opened it.. I also thought.... " I interrupted her by exclaiming "oh my goodness! take a bow aai., take a bow (while bowing), after all you're 'MY' mom. I said sarcastically putting more pressure on the word my.

Mum smiled again and added, " I also thought, you may have ate a spoon or two which the spoon also suggests, but I was not sure about it, did you.. .?

now my face was expressionless and mind was blank, Is she any avatar of God or something? (I asked in my mind), she asked gathering my attention "tell me madhu? "mom don't call me madhu, it's a girlish name" I asked her like a kid, with an attempt to change the topic "you're my only child, and you're both son and daughter for me, you never asked me to stop calling this name in your childhood, you've always cherished this thing in the past, and you always felt proud that you have two names. But now..... now you're grown up, all this seems silly and stupid to you, I'll do as you say" aai said in a low but deep voice, with her about to cry eyes. "aayeeee, sorry,l... you can call me anything.. anything you want Charlie Chaplin, Jhonny Lever, Devanand, Madhubala, Nargis... Madhubala will be perfect! " she smiled with tears rolling on her cheeks, "but one condition, don't call me, with this name in my friends' presence." she smiled again and I added "One more thing, I'm thankful to the almighty, that she made you, my mom, I. love you aai."

We then hugged each other and she whispered into my ears "You want to go Pune no, have some faith in your aai. we'll have dinner together, I've some plan - 'master plan'. you don't worry everything will be fine"

After hearing her words I became anxious, I was just looking at the clock again and again, I was so excited for the evening to come.

At 5:45 PM someone came at the door, I thought that it was baba, I ran to the drawing room, but he was someone else, someone who don't visits us very often, he was my grandfather (Ajoba)"Ajoba... how're you? " I asked while touching his feet "I'm fine.... but you're not" he confused me with his reply, and then mom came and handed him a glass of water and greeted by saying "Om Sai Ram, baba" and he replied in the same phrase, actually, ajoba is now a sannyasi (hermit), and used to give all his time to temples and social work. he then asked me "why are you not having food for last 2 days?.... come on tell me" I looked in my mom's eyes, and she said with a blink of her eyes "yes, I've told ajoba"

then I stated the whole scenario to ajoba, he then raised his question

"why don't you try from any other city? " "it's high time now, application period is over now in every Institute, I've no option left... otherwise I would have compromised"

ajoba replied in a 'hmm' and added, "the problem is with our blood, all three of us are very stubborn, and the fun fact is.. the next generation supersedes the last in stubbornness"

and then baba joined us after returning from farms, he was also surprised to see ajoba here, he touched his feet and asked "you were about to come next month no" "Can't I come without informing you, you're staying in this home... it's also mine, I'll come whenever I feel like" ajoba said with sarcasm "Baba, I was just askin... " baba replied and azoba interrupted him "first you tell me, why Madhav is not having food, how terrible father you are.. stopping him from studying won't help! " aazoba told baba, baba started staring at mum, aazoba added "stop staring her, talk to me... if she wouldn't have informed, you would have killed both of them out of hunger" baba didn't replied for a while and then said "I'm not stopping him from doing MBA, but at the same time, I can't allow him to do it from Poona (Pune)" "but why? " I joined the argument. Baba ordered mum "tell him to get into his room" and mum asked me to leave by saying "go " but I nodded in denial, then aazoba asked me to leave and that too in a loud voice and I left.

My room was about 20-25 steps away from the place of argument, where I can listen their conversation if their pitch gets high and the door remains open, but baba also ordered mum to close the door,

I sat on the floor besides the boor, sticking my ear to the wooden gate, It was hardly audible, I became completely unaware about what's going outside the room.

And then, after a while a loud voice entered into my ears, it was "I don't want the past to repeat itself... the horrible history which happened 25_years_back."

This was the first time when I heard this word and it just changed my life, I never knew that this phrase will follow me wherever I go.

After those loud lines, nothing was audible to me, and then after five minutes aai opened the door and asked me the final time " Do you want to go Pune? " I nodded my head in a 'yes'. Mum than replied "come out then" and then I proceeded to the two heads of my family. Ajoba repeated mom's question, and I said 'yes' a big yes.

"listen your ajoba and aai are with you, but your baba doesn't wants you to be there in Pune..... but he doesn't wants to be an obstacle in your career too, So.." ajoba told me "hmm, so...? " I asked, "you can go to Pune, against his will, he is ready to support you as father, to meet your monetary obligations, but don't expect anything else from him" I stood silent with my emotional eyes "

Ajoba took a pause and added "listen son, if you think you're right, go for it. After all its your career... which no one of us wants to spoil" "But aazoba, I want to know the reason of Baba's denial, maybe, I can understand then"

"Never ever dare to ask the reason again..... we are sending you Pune.. that's all you've wanted" "Am I clear?" aazoba added. and I replied "hmm" politely.

Then he asked mum to serve dinner to everyone, if grandpa wouldn't have ordered to have food, no one of us would have ate that night.

After having the dinner, it was bed time, mum entered my room with a glass of milk and I ask her "what was happening outside, when i was here", " it's none of your business, you are allowed to do MBA, that's all you wanted " mom replied with a straight voice while arranging. my pillows and bedsheet" and I was about to repeat the question before that she warned "don't try to ask again" then there was silence in the room and I started gulping the milk in order to remain silent. Mum was waiting for the glass to be returned and I did the same after finishing the milk.

She was leaving the room and when she was about to close the door, some words came out of my mouth without my brain's consent, they were "What happened '25 years back'?

She was surprised and looked at me with her wide eyes, then replied with a loud and firm voice " NOTHING.... and nothing means NOTHING " and smashed the door to close it.

I was in shock to see mum's behaviour,

few things are clear to me now

1 I'm going to Pune.

2. Baba is not with my decision and he'll act as a legal father and not because of our relation.

3. Not to ask the reason to my family, never ever.

After two days I was about to leave for Pune, mum has already packed my luggage and now she is preparing laddoo (sweets) and snacks for me. She was happy for me but at the same time, she and I knew, that something was missing, it was Baba's consent.

We haven't communicated directly for the last one week, which made me feel pathetic. Baba ignores me, just like we do with a beggar on the streets. I know that, baba won't even come to the railway station to see off me, but I have a cheap trick to make him come there.

It was the departure day, mum and I was getting emotional from the morning itself, the memories of my first school camp was revived, even then she cried a lot when I was leaving by the school bus. I also missed her in the camp days and everyone started calling me 'mama's boy'. initially I felt bad for this title but today I'm proud to be one.

Before leaving for Pune she kept telling me hundred times "Eat food on time.. Call me at least once in a day.. take care of yourself, I won't be there.. Don't get indulged in bad things (like a alcohol, girls etc. )" these things were usually said by all mothers, "Don't you forget your aai" this line made us both cry, and I always used to reply "you're the most important person in my life and will always be! "

It was the time to leave now, mum and Mannu kaka was there with me at the station, and I was receiving the above suggestions from my mum again and again and I was on the 'hmm' mode

I was looking for baba... yes I was, I've played a trick to let him come. Actually, I left my documents file on my father's study table, that too intentionally. This file has all the documents like marksheets, degree, certificates and other important things. He will come to the station to give me the documents file, where I'll take his blessings and hopefully his heart will melt and he'll hug me"

The loud siren of the train took my attention, now it was time to leave. But I was still looking for baba, I had a deep belief that he'll come, but again... he proved me wrong. I touched mum's feet and entered my coach with my luggage.. The train started and I waved my hand to both of them from the gate.

I saw someone running behind my mum and kaka, hey it was baba (I thought) yes he is.. I immediately pulled the chain and the train stopped in few seconds.

Baba came along with that file, cheap trick works!. he handed it over to mum and she handed it to me. His presence made me realize that we're still together and nothing can come in between us. He and I was just two step away, I bended towards him to take his blessings, but he took his feet back, he surprised me again and I touched the floor to honour his presence.

I was thinking that, if he comes to the station to meet me, we'll have no differences in between, but I was wrong we were still 'HALF STEP AWAY'.