Widowed

It was silent for a minute after Ari left. I don't why but I was angry. I just knew who I was angry at. I had no idea where it was all coming from but I had a lot of rage that needed to come out. So I made my way to the training room. I needed to hit something.

"Eli!"

"Eli listen."

Miraj called my name as I left but I didn't stop or turn. He followed me to the training room. The room was empty but it had plenty of weapons and wooden targets.

"Eli wait. We need to talk."

I had planned on putting on bandages around my knuckles and hitting the sandbag but I could still hear Miraj asking me to stop and listen. I made my way to the knife shelf.

The first knife I threw at him was a small dagger. The blade was too blunt to pierce through skin at close range, but I planned on throwing it with enough momentum to get through his three-piece navy blue suit. He ducked and the dagger got stuck on the door behind him.

"Eli, are you crazy? What are you doing? Put down the knife and let's talk it out like civilized-"

He kept talking as I turned to look for another knife and picked up a Fixation Bowie. Its 7 inches of deadly steel blade could definitely quench my anger. I threw it before he got the chance to finish his sentence. He was walking towards me as he talked and titled to the right to avoid getting stabbed.

"That was a lethal knife, Eli. Stop it. It's just dinner."

"Just dinner? Why is she having dinner in my house? I don't want her here."

I threw another military grade fighting knife at him.

"I invited her for dinner because I couldn't come up with any reason to make her go away-"

He was ready for this one and caught the blade with his bare hands.

"Do you want to be widowed?" He asked me. I stopped looking for the next knife to throw as I heard that. I turned back and said, "I would rather be widowed than be cheated on. That is an insult I won't take, Miraj."

"What? I am not going to cheat on you. I have already told you I am not interested in her. You're being unreasonable."

I knew I was being unreasonable but I couldn't help feel this way. Something was wrong with my emotions but I had no idea what was wrong and that was making me irritable. I looked down, closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm myself as Miraj made his way to me.

"Eli, look at me."

I didn't want to. He came closer and held my chin with his right hand.

"Eli, come on. Look at me." He said in a gentle voice.

When I was still being stubborn about it, he forced my chin up to make me to look into his eyes. His beautiful green eyes pulled me in and I wanted to stay there forever, they were so mesmerizing. I felt like they took away all the unease I felt. I had always known he had powerful eyes but it was different today. Today, his 'always dead' eyes had emotions I couldn't discern.

"Do you have any idea how much I stand to lose if I ever cheated on you with Tatiana?"

Too much. There was too much for him to lose. I understood it. His reason for staying in this marriage was our deal and that's what it was supposed to be. But it pained me that causing me hurt wasn't his reason to not cheat. This was a web I wasn't willing to stick to. So I ignored it like I did with emotions I didn't want to feel.

"I get it. I am sorry I overreacted." I said as I pushed him away.

"I don't get what your deal is Eli but I gave you my word five years ago that I will remain loyal throughout this marriage. I still intend to keep my word regardless of whether you believe me or not."

I couldn't help but think about the day I walked into his apartment and saw Rose sitting half-naked on his lap. That poor girl took a bite so big that she couldn't chew. I hoped she was rotting in hell.

"Do you remember Archer, Eli?"

I swallowed. Archer was like Rose, but this one was buried by Miraj. Our relationship was built on dead bodies of people that died to give us stability. And we weren't the kind of people who would hesitate to drop more if it meant getting what we want.