Does it matter, if I hurt?

We wrapped up the dinner in a much brighter mood than we started. Luke left soon after and I took Ari to bed. I thought a lot about the new things I noticed about my son and his relationship with his father. I still couldn't figure out why it was so different from my relationship with Ari and why didn't I notice it before this?

I went out to find Miraj but he was no where to be found; not in his bedroom and not in his study. So I called him but he didn't pick up. My brain started working overtime as I imagined all the things that could have happened. From a business emergency to an enemy ambush, I imagined it all. But the one that scared me the most was a tiny seed of an irrational thought that he was with Tatiana.

My fingers shook as I dialed Pablo's number because my head was full of Daniel and Irin. My boyfriend who cheated on me with my younger sister was a nasty bastard who gave me the creeps even after his death.

"Madam? Everything alright?"

Pablo's voice in my ear startled me.

"No."

"What do you need me to do?" His voice sounded alert.

"Where's Miraj?"

"Ah... Last I saw him, he was on his way to the Library. I can go check if he's there."

I breathed in and realised I was holding my breathe. I needed to stop this from affecting my life again. I replied to Pablo, "It's okay. I'll check myself."

"Okay, Madam. Anything else I can do?"

"No. Thank you, Pablo."

"Just doing my job, Ma'am."

I don't know where Miraj had found Pablo but that man wasn't ordinary. He had a darker side that he preferred to hide and I let him do that because I knew he cared for all of us. It showed even when he tried to hide. I walked to the library in the East wing on the ground floor while I wondered about Pablo.

All huge homes have libraries but I was never into books so I hardly ever made my way to this area. But Miraj was an avid reader and he had passed it off to our son. We had an entire section in our library for Children's books that Ari selected from made us read to him all the time. There were probably only a few of them left that he hadn't tried to read on his own. It also helped him learn new words and that was probably how 'weird' became a part of his vocabulary.

There were shelves upon shelves lining the walls and in between them there were door sized windows that let too much light in during the day. The decoration was minimalistic here too, just like Miraj's study. As I walked around the library, I found Miraj on a huge chaise lounge with a curvaceous silhouette. It had a full back to recline on and a waterfall edge on the other end to rest his legs. He looked so comfortable and that was probably why he fell asleep while reading.

I walked closer, picked up the book laying flat on his chest and kept it aside. He looked tired but he also looked at peace. Would it be too mean to wake him up when he was sleeping like a baby?

I shook his shoulder lightly and said, "Miraj, get up. Go sleep in your room."

He turned away from me and continued to sleep on his side. Was he really asleep? I shook his shoulder harder this time.

"Get up! You'll hurt your back if you sleep here all night!"

He turned around this time and faced me. His eyes were slightly open as he tried to stare at me but failed because he was still sleepy.

"What?" I asked.

"Does it matter to you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"If I hurt my back, does it matter to you?"

I didn't know how to answer the question because I didn't know why he wanted to hear the answer. Yes, I did care if he hurt his back but I cared as his business partner or as his wife, I didn't know. Did it even matter? Was I over-thinking this?

"Yes, it matters. Now, get up and go sleep in your room. You have to leave tomorrow morning."

He finally sat up and gave me a frustrated sigh.

"Stop nagging me. Why did you come to find me?"he asked.

"I wanted to ask you something."

"What?"

"Will you let me kill Mathews and his daughter?"

"What!!?"

"You heard me right. Will you let me kill your beloved doctor and his daughter?"