Chapter 17

Whenever Michael is sad, he says the things he buries deep in his bones, his deepest secrets and fears. It is almost as if his bones cannot take him being sad so they break and his mind blurts out their secrets.

Usually after spilling these secrets he will try much to cover them up with lies, but the word had already been said and that's how Audrey liked it. With Michael Audrey knew how to separate truth from lies.

Audrey wanted them to communicate without hiding what they felt. That's how marriage is supposed to be.

How's a relationship supposed to work if both parties keep hiding what they feel? She had asked Michael this a couple of times and he would promise to try to be more open with her but he never keeps to his promise.

Just like Audrey, Michael was an introvert and he didn't like to Speak much, he was even more introverted than Audrey. Even in the gathering of his friends you could barely hear his voice, just his laughter and that's what Audrey used to love most about him. The fact that he didn't talk much but observed much won her heart to him.

But, now this same character of his which pulled her to him now annoyed her. Sometimes she felt as if Michael didn't talk much because he was afraid to say the truth.

She had thought that he would learn to trust her and she would be his one and only confidant after they got married. That he would be able to open up to her when he learnt to love her deeply, but then he didn't as she thought he would.

Yes, He was beginning to open up to her little by little but the progress was quite slow, too slow. Though, Audrey was patiently waiting for him to progress. Until marriage she was very impatient, but Michael has thought her both patience and endurance and other feelings that weren't really good like being sex starved.

He made her remember her ex although he was completely useless to her when they dated. Yes, he pleasured her to near death and he was now the owner of the biggest publishing house in new Zealand where she was going to apply, but when they dated he was nothing but a drunk. A good sex giving drunk.

Now she had an idea of why Michael was scared of her working. But did that mean he doesn't trust her? She was loyal to him and always will be so why didn't he trust her.

"You don't trust me is that it?" Her voice was very sad when she spoke. Michael knew he had fucked up. "That's the problem right? you don't trust me?"

"No! No! It Is not that I don't trust you. I trust you." He quickly said. "I just think you deserve better from your man and I'm not giving that to you. I'm sorry for saying that." Daniel apologized. He cupped her face In his hands and placed a feathers kiss on the bridge of her nose. "I'm sorry that I keep projecting my insecurities on you, Audrey."

"It's not you saying it that matters it's you thinking about it. It's good you said it so I know what exactly you are thinking and what you are afraid of. Its better this way Michael, that we both speak to each other about the things that worry us or our marriage won't work. You have to tell me what the problem is. Speak to me about your insecurities, you get it?"

"I'm sorry. I'll try. Baby I promise to try to communicate better. I know I'm fucking up in a lot of things, but I'll try to be better and I will learn to trust you. I love you please don't give up on me. Please."

Audrey nodded, smiling sadly. Michael kissed her forehead and smiled back.

"You should trust me. I'm your wife and I won't betray you like that. I won't." Audrey emphasized. "I am loyal to you. I chose you and you own me."

"I know. I know." Michael whispered. "Forgive me for thinking otherwise. I trust you."

"You should." She grinned and kissed him.

Michael did trust her but the question was to what extent did he trust her and what was his limit to that trust knowing fully well the secrets his held.

Trust is something that has been very difficult for Michael to give out right from when he was little and it became harder now because of the lies he kept telling.

It was not that he was really an introvert like people thought he just didn't want to let so many people in. People that would later leave when they know of the taboos he was committing.

People like Kim.

Because he knew that he couldn't be trusted, he didn't know how to give trust.