Ch 9. The real feels

When I woke up, I was on a real bed clinging to a muscled man who was awake.

"Your awake?" he asked quietly.

"Where am I?" I asked.

".....You dont remember me?" he frowned.

"Nope. Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm Uraharas assistant. You have been asleep for three weeks." he said.

"I see we were moved in these three weeks." I stated.

"Sort of. Chad got too close during his training a few days ago and you lept onto him, attaching yourself. He could barely move because your chains kept moving and he didnt want to step on them and wake you." Buff guy said.

"Oh? Then what happened?" I said holding back a laugh.

"Well. Urahara decided to help and touched the chains. I'm not sure if you know but I believe the base of your chains is very sensitive. As soon as he touched the base of your chains, you detached from Chad and suffocated Urahara with your chest.." Buff guy said while looking away.

".... go on...." I said quietly.

"The only way to get you off was for other to do so as well. Until we found another way..." buff guy said with a sigh.

"Stop pausing and tell me already!" I frowned.

"....You had attached to Chad again. I went to grab you but tripped and landed against your back. You brought your arms up and laid your head back on my shoulder. Chad seemed to have thought of something and he.. Well he had me tease you until you loosened your grip on him so he could turn around and carry you properly. We did not take into consideration the effect of teasing you. After Chad and I made it to a room, you tried to strip. You mumbled something about the Quincy bloodline and Uryus family once we calmed you down. So Uryu had his dad come because you just kept talking. Unbeknownst to us, once he came into the room, you captured him and threw Chad out. Literally threw him through a wall... Anyways, you said something to Uryus dad causing him to panic before you jumped us... Uryus dad is still asleep behind you..." buff guy said as he sighed again.

"I'm awake. I see the perverts awake. Let me go I have matters to attend to." the man said harshly.

"Mmm No. You're a grouch and I can feel something poking me." I mused.

"That would be my hand trying to keep you off me." he stated matter of factly.

"Fine. See if I tell you the rest of the Quincy problems. Fuck off then." I threw the man out the wall whole I already made.

"I also have work. I'll be your cuddle buddy whenever you need, however, I also need to work. Keep a chain on my wrist if you want, I'll come back when I can." buff guy smiled.

"Mm thanks dear. I'm starved, I'll leave you to your business while I go hunt. Toodles~" I said as I got up. I noticed the mop and his friends peeking a while ago so I decided to go with it.

I slowly got dressed into high waisted black shorts with a bandeau and wedged high tops. I let out a soft whistle and my doggos came running. "I'm going hunting. You two should stay together and hunt as well. Stay away from humans the best you can. Share the food evenly." I smiled as I told them the plan.

I got up and made my way out of the room and 'accidentally' bumped into mop and friends. However, I found mop to be acting weird. "Next time, peepers get blinded for a week. Except you Fake mop. You get sealed. Anyways, who do I hunt with?"

Chad looked away. Uryu looked away. Fake mop was frozen.

"Just because I didnt bite you doesnt mean I wont bite you. Who is going with me?" I said a little angrily.

"That would be me." Bald guy said.

"Sup baldy. Toodles~" I said as I grabbed the bald guy and spirited off to the closest hollow.

"What the fuck was that?!" baldy asked.

"Rule 1. Stay 100 meters away or be collateral damage. Rule 2. Steal my food and you become it. Rule 3. Dont say something unless you can back it up. Rule 4. Shut the fuck up. Toodles~" I said as I dashed to the hollow.

Once in range, I swung my chain and let my sword fly. Pulling back at the last second to not damage buildings or hit humans, I successfully hooked the hollow on my chain. Once I pulled him over, my chains captured him and took all bad spirit pressure from the hollow, turning it into a pure soul.

"That funny looking bald guy can send you to a good place. Tell him aunty said you can go." I told the confused soul. As it went to him, I watched to make sure it was still stable. Noticing no change, i nodded and smiled. "Cortana play Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas."

'Playing Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas.'

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I blinked. One day I'm purifying hollows and returning them to souls, the next I'm called to help save big boobs.

"....Can you do it?" Ichigo asked Urahara.

"I can. But that's not the problem. I wont do it." Urahara said as I walked in.

"Wont do what?" I asked.

"Send us to Hueco Mundo so we can save Orihime." Ichigo said bluntly.

"Oh just that? When? Got your stuff?" I asked.

"Eh?" the group looked at me.

"....I'm part spirit. I go wherever the fuck I want because I want and do whatever the fuck I want. If I dont have to go alone, more fun for me." I smiled.

".... What even are you?" Urahara asked.

"Dont ask." I said and waved my hand side to side. "I suggest clothes to protect from heat and cold. It's a sand pit hell so its bound to be either at any possible time."

"...."

"Okay. I'll go by myself. Meet you there, I'm gonna find this guy I met. Toodles~" I waved and spirited away.

I was right. Sand pit hell with fake trees. I floated and changed into my shorts and tank top, leaving my jacket in the inventory. My boots and hat were put on as I lit a smoke and drifted in the wind to Orihime.

I found her in a throne room with a bunch of tastey snacks, especially the guy on the throne, he had a snack in his pocket.

"Orihime! I got your note! I promise to always visit when I'm bored, hungry, cold, and drunk!" I shouted as I entered.

"Eh? Chloe? You came so fast?" Orihime asked.

"You kidding me?! I'm hungry, bored, cold, and sad! I need a drink, food, and cuddles.... company. I need company." I smiled.

"An intruder?" Throne guy smiled a little and waved his hand.

"-sniff- Are you offering me a snack as well?!" I shouted as I spirited to throne guys lap and searched his pockets. "Hmm... It isnt a full snack but a snack indeed. Probably a no good one." I spirited to the roof and ate the hogyoku.

"Spit that out wench!" one guy yelled.

"But he offered the snack? Nobody waves a smell to another if they aren't offering it as a snack." I stated as I swallowed.

"Orihime, can you undo that?" Throne guy asked.

"No she cant. My energy is just too much for hers to penetrate it." I said as I floated down. "Besides, this one was faulty. Too much of one thing, missing another, too many of others. Bleh. It's like cookies with salt and vanilla as the main ingredients without sugar or eggs."

"....You mean that was not a complete hogyoku?" Throne guy said ashen faced.

"Far from complete. Anyways, I'm gonna steal... borrow... this girl so I can cuddle and drink peacefully. Stupid men wont do what I want... Right, dont wake me or my energy will kill everything in this realm. Toodles~" I said and walked out with Orihime, Ulquiorra, and some pink macho guy in tow.

"...I just realized. I dont know where I am. Hey you, where am I going?" I asked the arancars.

"Left. Big door." Ulquiorra said.

"Kay!" I smiled and dragged Orihime with me. Once inside the room, I frowned. "Fuck is the table at? chairs? sofa? cushions? anything other than a bed?"

"The room hasnt been prepared yet. It was supposed to be while we were talking to Lord Aizen. You cut everything short so no time leads to this." Ulquiorra responded.

"I want compensation." I declared.

"....Do what she wants... Please dear lord, do what she wants." Orihime said as she paled.

"...?" macho guy looked confused for a moment before getting angry, "Why didnt we just kill this bitch when she got here?"

"Do you know anyone who can break in without tripping any alarm or being senced by Lord Aizen? Do you know anyone who can eat the hogyoku and be just dandy?" Ulquiorra glared at the man. "What do you want for compensation, miss...?"

"Just Chloe. I want you to stay with us tonight.... How much can you lift?" I smiled mischievously.

"Something simple. I can lift quite..." Ulquiorra spoke but stopped when he saw Orihime shaking her head and waving her hands.

"I can lift quite poorly.. Why?" Ulquiorra 'corrected' himself.

"Oh boo. I was gonna ask if you could insure I made it to a bed before I slept. Since you cant lift much, I'll have to ask another to join." I said half heartedly.

"Perhaps I can be of assistance for that?" Snake eyes asked.

"Dont come any closer... The smell..." I covered my face so I wouldn't start panting.

Orihimes eyes went wide, "G-gin, right? Um.. She has a special.. I'm not sure exactly.. but certain spirit pressure makes her.. um..." she went red faced and looked away embarrassed.

"Hot~ -pant- It makes me realllly~ hot~ -pant- Leave or bring me along -pants faster- your choice?" I said trying to hold my moan.

Before he said anything, he just held his hand out to me. My kagane burst forth and 'captured' his entire arm and I followed him, "If anything bad happens to her, this entire realm turns to dust."

Gin led me down a long hall. Before we could get to another door, he released a little more of his spirit pressure. My chains wrapped his entire body and tore his clothes apart. "Bad move, dear." I whispered as I jumped at him.

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"Ya know I wont do anything bad if we cuddle. Only reason my body acted like that when Chad helped move me last time was because he teased me." I said to Orihime as i drank my third bottle.

"What happened?" Ulquiorra said slightly red faced.

"Pft. He stepped to close while I was asleep and I clung onto him while sleeping. I'm use to having two people cuddle me so it's like an instinct now? Anyways, he didnt want to step on my chains so others had to help move me and it turned me on slightly. However he teased me just so he could turn and have me face his front side. Apparently I tried to jump a minor. Pft hahaha!" I laughed loudly.

"That's a little obnoxious of you." Ulquiorra said.

"She also suffocated Urahara with her breasts because he touched the base of her chains." Orihime pointed out.

"Okay. If a guy touches a weak spot on you, wont you respond?" I asked as I downed the drink.

"I guess so." Orihime blushed and turned away embarrassed.

"Hehe Well I cant sleep without two people next to me. So dont touch certain places and everything is fine." I smiled as I downed the rest of the bottle.

"Why cant I join the drinking again?" Gin asked.

"Because! Someone has to stay sober to help me to bed. Orihime cant even lift one chain, she cant help. And he said he was physically weak. So it's your job!" I laughed.

"You said that?" Gin eyed Ulquiorra.

Ulquiorra silently and stealthily pointed at Orihime who threw a paper airplane at Gin. After opening the paper, Gin read it and destroyed it.

"Hey Chloe, Orihime looks tired. Why dont we move this party to my room? We can drink directly on the bed." Gin tried to tempt me.

"But Orihime would be lonely~ Oh I know! Jade, Jazz. Keep Orihime company, I'm gonna go drink with these two.. three." I said and corrected myself as I noticed a man walking towards the room.

"Sleep well. See you soon~" I bid farewell and let Gin lead us out the room. I saw the blind guy Kaname or whatever his name is and called out, "Hey, come drink with me!"

"I'm sorry but I dont drink." Kaname responded.

"That's okay. I have nonalcoholic drinks as well." I said as a chain captured his arm. "Come, we have matters to discuss!"

"Sigh... I have things to do, I cant join you." he tried to pull the chain off.

"Non negotiable. You will thank me later, just get the fuck over it and come along or I'll drag you along." I smiled and pulled out another bottle, "New type of snack. Wonder how it tastes~"

"Did you just call me a snack?" Kaname said as he tried to pull away.

"Not you particularly but I guess part of you? Just come along." I said as I put another chain on him and pulled him closer.

"I dont like you." Kaname said.

"When did I say I wanted you to like me?" I stated and leaned on Gin more. "Is he perhaps one of those people with a stick in their ass?" I whispered.

"pfft!" Gin laughed.

"Lord Tosen. I'm sorry for this womans behavior." Ulquiorra said as he blinked a little quickly. "Hold on! Why am I drunk? Our bodies shouldn't be able to since we are souls..?"

"You kidding? Magic alcohol! It's more potent for living beings. Anything from another realm gets 10% the effect." I said.

"Then why did you drink 5 bottles? Your from the living realm aren't you?" Gin asked as we turned a corner.

"Hmm.. Well yes and no. My bloodline gets rid of the effects if I dont keep drinking. Doesnt matter if it's a god made alcohol, I wont stay drunk. Wish I could though. Life is less painful when drunk." I said sadly.

"I doubt you had a painful life." Kaname said.

"I doubt you even begin to understand my pain. Care to see it?" I asked.

"I'm blind." Kaname stated.

"Not for long. Shut up and sit down." I said as we entered a colossal room. Kaname sat as told and I bit his neck, taking the foreign energy out of his body. "There. Not blind. Now watch this." I flicked his forehead and showed him my past.

Grabbing a new bottle, I quickly drank it and smiled sadly. "My life was fill of hatred, despair, and anger. I was put in a bad situation and finally realized that nothing matters as long as I'm still alive. Once I was out of the bad situation, I became dependent on a few things so I could live. One day, my mind finally broke and I just didnt give a shit anymore. Why should I care? Nobody ever tried to help, why the fuck should I help them?"

"I'll drink..." Kaname finally said.