Master of the Omnitrix
Author: AmpJ789
4.19
Overview
Table of Contents
Synopsis
"One of the most powerful beings in all fiction whose only weakness is his mentality and plot. "
....
"OK then ...."
Ben Tennyson. Ben 10. Holder of the Omnitrix. Earth's Greatest Champion. Hero of Heroes . Saviour of the Universe.
I got some big shoes to fill since I am , somehow, in his 5 year old body .
.....
The Universe is doomed... isn't it.
* First Fanfiction. I just felt I should give it a try.
Proper Crictism and writing advice is welcome .
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37 Reviews
4.19
Translation Quality
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Story Development
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Love this fic. I will love it even more if you pair Gwen with Ben. I've check it ****** is not wrong(Not!) if your cousins. People do it all the time. It's fune really honest!
What the **** is this ..? Everything is just copy and paste . What is the use of the knowledge of previous world when you do nothing but just fellow the original story . Add "Butterfly" effect, more and something new .
What.The.Actual.Fuck is wrong with this novel...I mean it starts off with an interesting premise then with CH8&9 it pisses it away and becomes a less interesting rehash of cannon. It's always sad to see such great potential thrown to the fucking dogs.
hello, i have a request, please add more descriptions to the characters, i guarantee most people don't remember the shapes of the aliens, villains are some minor percentages, except some aliens that never went out of our head eg alien X, four arms, echo echo, chill, good, I hope it meets my request
AWSOME Story! I hope you can continue, though may I give a suggestion? Try to include more character building. you have tons of fight scenes and decent amount of world building but not enough character building. With this being a fanfic and with a completely different version of ben with some thing similar I think you should add some things to show how different they are. Another thing, With bens upgrades aliens maybe you should add more detail about how they now look when he brings them out and also make the fights for minor and some major villains easier! The last thing is more of a question. will we have Incest? and will we have multiple lovers?(Just 2 - 3 at most)P.S will their be romance?
it started out good but went downhill soon after, confusing development and the mc aint showing how smart he is or how he controls the the world now, he did not fully unleashed the omnitrix potential and was beaten by his enemies easily, he should be near unstoppable for being a transmigrator and knowing the ben 10 universe
Yes , I'm shameless and self confident enough to review myself with a high amount of stars for the story. I honestly relieved that everyone likes this story as much as I do and reads it .
The history is amazing, your grammar, not so much. You don't tell us what is happening like: Ben took a shower and told Max he would stay in his lab. No, you should use quotes "" dialogue to tell your readers what is happening like. Ben walked towards the bathroom and opened the door, before entering he turned his head towards his grandpa and said. "Hey grandpa, I'll stay in my lab for the rest of the day after taking a shower." Not only that but you constantly stick words together. And lastly, you change the Pov too much Don't use YOU to refer to a character, I'm not Kevin, I'm not Ben, I'm a reader, stick using. Resuming everything, your history is honestly incredible but the grammar puts much of that down.
Author needs to fix the random first person second person third person pov, you start with I, then go your then go Ben... the intro starts out nice smart athletic mc.. then he made a company with grandpa max and become rich... but stuck to Canon cause he's afraid of the butterfly effect? Should've skipped those if you were sticking to Canon and just described the minor changes he made...
Everything is just copy and paste . What is the use of the knowledge of previous world when you do nothing but just fellow the original story . Add "Butterfly" effect, more and something new .
It's just a rehash of Ben 10 canon with forced plot. Not worth reading, so don't waste your time and just watch the show.
I have read many different fanfictions of Ben 10 but most of them come in a way that cripple the essence of the original but this fanfictions is actually really good.
I love the story but I'm too lazy to make a genuine review sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
This is by far the best ben 10 fanfiction that I've been able to find. Please for the love of God don't drop this fic. Also if you could add a picture of how the aliens look, that would be awesome 👌
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