Precognitive Dream

"He'll be there...He'll definitely.." Standing in front of the Registry Office, I anxiously waited for my groom. Clenching my white gown, I finally moved. Might as well prepare before he comes. I went in and settled with the front desk. I asked the procedures, and the papers. The person tapped and searched some documents as I handed her my credentials.

"Miss. You know polygamy marriages aren't pemitted." She said coldly.

"What?! How..How can that be?!" My world crumbled, what do you mean by polygamy?

"The person, Chen Tian is already legally married." She repeated.

The tears I had been holding in, fell down. Lost, I slowly stumbled my way out of the building. My chest was hurting so much, thoughts turning into a headache. I don't know how much I cried, nor how pitiful and terrible I looked right now. A bride in white squatting and crying. Emotions, questions… A relation of six years thrown away in a mere second. I couldn't believe it. I thought I would finally live a peaceful life, to start a family, to see my childrens grow...And die… I was willing to spend the rest of my life with him, even though we didn't 'love' each other. I respected him, but now…

I hugged my legs. I knew it, there's no one you can trust, Jingyi.. Only yourself.. No one can help you.. They are all fake..

Suddenly, a figure came close. He held out his hand and patiently waited for me to take it. Like a string attached on my arm, my hand immediately held his. His warmth traveled from my cold hands to my broken heart. He pulled me up and I looked at his faceless face.

"Are you okay?" I hear him say. That melodic, and familiar voice was full of sincerity. He was asking if I was really okay. I have heard those words countless times, but this time, I took it seriously.. Of course I wasn't okay… Maybe, because of his presence, I started to feel better… I felt safe… And trusted him...

"I-"

I opened my eyes, and saw my bedroom's ceiling. I sat up and felt my cheeks wet. It seemed that I cried. It seems that I had a nightmare...No..A dream..no.. Well in between.

The thoughts of Tian marrying someone else, came back. Was he really though? They were going to marry in two months, it was still far from the actual day. It was only a nightmare, right? It wasn't even realistic, who would sign a marriage certificate without having a marriage license? If he married before their wedding, then of course the registry office wouldn't approve of this union when signing the license.

If in the dream, they had signed the marriage license, then he wouldn't be able to marry the other woman. That's right… It was just an illusion… Yes.

She gazed at her hand, remembering the stranger. Was she selfish to say she wanted to meet with him in the future? To feel wanted and protected? Was she greedy to want more than what she had?

Sliding off her blanket, she prepared to go to work.

===

"I wonder why, for the past few days, everyone was rushing and finalizing things… Am I really that clueless? Even Amélie was gone.. I even have to work overtime frequently.."

I try to keep my good mood, since I'm about to clear up my suspicions. Whether good or bad, I have to be strong. I looked at the registration's office, it was the same as in my dream. I spotted the corner 'I' squatted and ruined my white dress. Will I really be like that, too?

I walked to the counter, I could still imagine a bride being devastated from hearing her marriage wasn't legal. It.. won't happen..

"Er.. Hello?" I awkwardly called out the woman in charge. She turned around, and I immediately recognized her. She was the same as the one she dreamed!

"Yes. May I know to help you?" The same voice, yet they seemed so different, and contradictory. One was disgusted, and this one, welcoming.

"I would like to check the current marriage state of a person."

The woman gave me a questionable look. "You want to know if they are married or not?" I nodded. "The person is called Chen Tian." As she hesitantly tapped the search bar, she asked: "So, what is your relationship with this man?"

"I'm his F-.." The words I seemed to not be able to pronounce: Fiancé. These three syllables I couldn't muster out. Did I really lose hope? Wasn't it just a dream? Maybe it's just that I'm afraid of the look she'll give me when saying polygamy marriages aren't allowed. Maybe...

"Friend.." My hoarse voice sang out. I couldn't bear to get insulted, this is the best excuse I can use. I'm too scared. "Oh. Alright." She casually responded.

Anticipation clouded my mind. My heart raced as if I had run a marathon. Like a movie, time seemed to slow down. Each of her words the woman said were difficult to process : "Miss, Mr. Chen is indeed married. It seems that it just happened lately."

What did I expect? That he could be faithful? I knew no one can be truly perfect, I had hoped for at least a loyal groom. "Ah. Thank you. Good day." I forced myself to politely thank her and ran out like a madman. My mind was a mess. I didn't even know what I was doing anymore. My legs led me to the convenience store, and I grabbed two cans of alcohol. Barely making it home, I dumped out all of my suppressed feelings.

*END OF FLASHBACK*