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We all laid down after the funeral pretty warm out. We all had a big day even though it was all different in our reasons. It was nice to know Corey would be staying at my side from now on and Liz had her own hut now so we were all able to go to sleep and rest somewhat peacefully. It was the first time I had slept in my own bed in a long time because we were gone for a little over two weeks, between the 5 days that ended up being the wedding ceremony and the close to 5 day trip there and 6 day trip back. The ride back took longer than the ride there because of May. Thinking of her I wonder how she's doing so far. I hope she doesn't feel to hurt about us disappearing without any word. I know she's probably taking things in as she goes and is likely very stressed about being here. Hopefully she will be fine without us there.

Either way I've gotten Corey to myself for the most part of the past two weeks and now I'll get him to myself for much longer. It's nice to have someone to lay up against at night and to have hold you in there arms and make you feel like your safe. A feeling of being protected and like nothing in the world could ever hurt you or take the other person or the way you are feeling away. This never truly lasts thought at the end of the day you fall asleep and wake up and have to start your days all over again. That makes it so it's normal for people to enjoy the moment but it's easily taken advantage of, no matter how perfect it feels it can be taken away as quickly as the feelings begin. Life is cruel and kind, the half glass full half glass empty does seem to show how you view things but it's not that simple. The way my birth mother and adopted mother explained it to me were very different.

My adopted mother explained half glass empty half full as an outlook on life, and that it shows if you are optimistic or pessimistic view on outcomes. Which in a way is very choose because you can choose how to view it. Although my birth mother explained it differently, she said that it's not black and white because depending on the state of the glass before determines if it's half empty or full. If you have a glass of water and you poor half out then it's half empty where as if it's empty and you poor some water in then it's half full. It all is determined by the state of the glass before an act as is how you respond and view things that happen. If something bad has happened when you are in a good spot then you are Lilly to view it as half empty as you lost something you had before but if you are gaining something out of a situation then you tend to see it as half full because you now have something you didn't before even if you lost a few small things along the way. In way it's how what happened last breading season in a way. I was rapped but I gained my family and the relationship I have now so although I went through something bad I gained more than what I lost and people I didn't have before so it's a glass half full type of situation for me. I know not everyone in my position might feel the same, but there is nothing I can do about what happened in the past and Corey told me all of the men involved even the ones who hadn't actually touched me were killed for standing by and being part of it. They got what they had coming to them and won't ever be able to hurt another person again. Which is another reason that I'm more positive on my view of the situation. After a storm there is a rainbow and for me that what this is. The storm I had been fighting with and that was trying to block the light out has passed and the sun hasn't ever shown brighter. Which mean the next storm will be darker than I have ever seen before but it's all worth it because it's all for the people that I love. I will always keep going and fighting no matter how hard it seems to be because I know I'm fighting to keep them safe and be able to with them. That all I can ask for is to be able to be with my family and be happy.

None of it can be taken for granted because one day I know I won't have them all by my side, as life begins other Life has to end, its a delicate balance in our world and one that's no body has the power to escape. So every second I have with them needs to count because you never know when it'll be your last. There are some things that not even the most powerful magic can change and time is one of them. Which is why you always need to do what you want and go for things even if they seem out of reach or far away because it's better to say I tried that than what if I had. At your death bed wouldn't you rather know you lived your life with your own choices and the way you wanted to instead of knowing you lived your life afraid of things you didn't know or that you wouldn't try because you thought you would fail. The dragon in me wants me to brave and courageous even when I feel fear and it's a fight between two different beasts inside the good and the bad.