hurts to love

@lvchannielix on insta !!

you laid on the hard cold floor crying, while holding onto the necklace and picture of the two of you. it was over, the relationship was over and could never be the same. you were so sure you could last a lifetime with him, start a family, and grow old together, but the whole idea was just a tragic fantasy that would never be fulfilled.

he just walked out of the apartment you two have recently bought and just left and before he left he had mumbled the six hurtful words that would scar you. " i hate that i love you." as soon as the door closed when he walked out you fell, you had lost balance, all sense of life.

is this what it feels like to lose someone you love, someone you love so deeply.

you had awoken to someone tucking you in to bed, your eyes opened a tad late but you had for sure seen seungmins figure leave the once shared bedroom. you heard rummaging and you knew for a fact that he had come back to pack up his stuff. you walked out and there he was in front of the door about to walk out again.

you knew that was the last time he would ever come back into this apartment, your life. it took awhile, never completely healing from the breakup because a part of you will always be broken because you loved him and he just made it hurt to love him.

one in a million chances would you accidentally bump into him anywhere, but that one in a million chance happened six months after the breakup. you were at the jewelry store that you and seungmin always went to and even discussed and designed wedding rings to fix a necklace that you had accidentally broken. at the same time seungmin came in with his friends, felix and jeongin. they said hi to you but you and seungmin barely even glanced over at each other's direction.

"what are you doing here, y/n?" jeongin asked. "oh, um to fix a necklace i accidentally broke. it's uh a very special necklace." the boy nodded and told you he, felix, and seungmin came here to get a present for chan another one of their friends. the jeweler had called you to come get the now fixed necklace since it only needed to replace the broken in half chain so it was quick.

you went to pick up the necklace and put it on, and payed before telling the two boys bye and still not looking in the direction where seungmin was. he saw the necklace that you had fixed, it was the necklace he gave you. as soon as you had exited the store both of you broke down, even after six months you both still want to be in each other's embrace but it would only hurt the both of you more.

"it hurts to love, but just know i still love you."