always her

genre: (slight) angst

description: y/n thought that with time he might fall in love again, but his heart still belongs to his ex.

@lvchannielix on insta!!

𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐑

even with the heavy rain and your fear of thunderstorms you had rushed to seungmins apartment when he told you that he was sick. the first thing you did was urge him to go back to bed before you took his temperature, 101.1 F (38.4 C). "min, you're running such a high fever and only told me it was a slight cold. don't joke with your health." you said to him with slight aggression. "you didn't have to come, you know?" he replied bluntly. "rest. i'm going to make some porridge for you to take medicine with."

you scooped the porridge from the pot into a smaller bowl, but the sudden sound of thunder caused you to shake and spill some on your hand. you quickly brought the hand that was burned under the cold faucet water, but it was already bright red. you decided it was better to clean up the mess and bring the porridge and medicine to seungmin since he was the main priority. if you could, you would watch his sleeping figure forever but you had to wake him up for the medicine. after that he told you to go home, but you insisted on staying until his fever was down so that's what you did. when he fell asleep again, you brought a basin of cold water along with a towel so you could cool down his body temperature bit by bit.

the rain outside was still as heavy as ever but the droplets landing on the windows gave a calming sensation. you gently placed the damp towel on his forehead, as he let out a mumbled whisper, "please don't leave... i love you". you blushed at his words but the name he called out after shattered your heart. he continued to call out the name as you tried to hide the silent cries when you couldn't anymore, you got up and left his room and completely broke down in the hallway. after slowly recollecting yourself, you went back inside his room to change the towels. you pushed his bangs to the side since they were in the way and poking at his closed eyes but your actions were stopped when seungmin grabbed your wrist and called out the name again. your visioned blurred as you tried to get your wrist out of his grip, but it was no use he only clung onto you tighter.

you blinked back the tears and used your other hand to shake seungmin awake. "min, wake up. i think you're having a nightmare." his eyes bolted open and he quickly released your hand. "sorry, i-i had a nightmare—" you nodded your head already knowing the situation, he fell back asleep as you sat by his bedside changing the towels ever so often. it was around 5 AM when his fever broke and as much as you wished to stay with him you had to leave so he wouldn't question your puffy eyes. three days had passed since the day you went to seungmins and you had been debating on a huge change but the thought to visit HER was priority...

you gently placed down the flowers on the grave and wiped away the dirt on the tombstone. "hey, it's been awhile hasn't it? this might be the last time i visit you so i'm going to tell you everything today...did you hear him call you the other night? he still thinks about you until this day". you read the name on the tombstone and blinked back tears, "i used to love your name, but whenever i hear it now, i just want to lose the ability to hear. but then again i have no right to be jealous. the three of us grew up together, but i didn't realize my love for seungmin until after he dated you and after your passing i was foolish to think he'd open up his heart to me and be mine."

"i tried". the familiar voice behind you caused you to sit up straight but never turning around since your face was tear-filled. "y/n, i really tried, but i can't forget her even if she told me to move on i can't. y/n, i'm sorry". you wiped your face and turned to face seungmin with a forced smile. "don't be sorry, if anything you guys taught me a lesson... to pursue and never hold back my love."

𝐦𝐢𝐧, 𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫... the true words you couldn't bring yourself to say.