2020.12.14

Honestly if you would have asked me only some couple of few weeks ago about how I feel, I would have responded.

"I feel great! My life is actually not so bad, I have one loving family, a place to live and call home and food on my plate. I receive knowledge and I´m able to experience a stable normal life, what more could a person ask for!" But now it´s going down. Now it´s more like...

"I feel sick to my stomach everyday, I fell like because of the distant learning that I have finally receive from my school is unnecessary because I have become lazy and there´s literately nothing to do. All that I do on my days at home is sit behind a screen (possibly in my bed half asleep), I sleep and eat all the time and do it all again. Day by day the same each and every. I have seen almost every series on Netflix that have both woken my interest and also those that have just made me be like "I don´t get this shit".

My back hurts from all that sitting that I spend my days doing and I´m longing for all this to end to yet again spend my days waking up early in the morning that I by the way hate doing and meet all the people that I by the way hate. My class is full with arrogant and spoiled children and let´s not get into the part where there is this girl who thinks that she is superior. Apparently common folk like me are not allowed to speak with her, look at her and not even breath the same air as her. But honestly she hates my guts and I hate hers so it´s a mutual relationship. But mostly I´m longing to meet my friends and eat lunch together and sitting in all those same classrooms and listening how my teachers explain all the same things once again for the thousand time already. Or how there´s these moments when someone comments something small but fun and everyone starts to laugh even if it was not even that funny. I´m also longing for those moments when I walk by one of my friends classroom and see this amazing guy writing down notes, like he does not know that I exist. But I bet that he does not know who I am either way.

I´m also longing for going to the mall and spend my money as soon as I get it, or just sit in the local coffee shop with my friends and chat about what ever comes to mind. I remember this one time when it was at first just me and my closest friend but another close friend walked by and decided to sit down with us, after some few minutes another one joined and another one soon after. It ended up being me and 8 other friends just chatting and drinking something that we ordered. I like company and that time there was no Corona, no problems and no fights or ugly comments. There was just us all sitting and having a wonderful time, that even the staff still remember us.

I just wish that Corona could end as soon as possible and I could go out one night at a party and dance my heart out, maybe even hook up with someone in the corner while my head feels are fuzzy from all those shots that I have taken. But however I wish, I could still not do anything like that anytime soon because if my parents knew what I plan to do, they would kill me.

But what have I been up to lately? It pretty much what I have mentioned before, lazy, lazy and did I already mention lazy? But there's also something knew. We decided to take in a puppy some days ago. She's wonderful! Her name is Greata and she is a Bichon Frisé breed. She is loving and loves people. She also bites stuff a lot because she still has her baby teeth, after all she is a puppy of 3 months. So when I'm home with distant learning, I'm not bored and have to go out sometimes. At least she makes me go out and move a little.

But to change the subject a little, I started to write a new story. The one that I have published is not exactly what I had in my mind so I decided to write something else instead. I'm already at chapter 17 and when it reaches 20 I will publish it. And I decided to publish 20 chapters after that too instead of continuing with daily publishing. Honestly it feels like I have already mentioned about my new novel before somewhere but I don't remember so here it was anyway.

But now it's getting late and I need to sleep so bye bye for now!