190 - Unloading regrets

*

Her smile glowed with a blinding radiance, the light piercing into my heart as I readied the dissemination of horrible news. Aged as she was, she didn't particularly lead an unhealthy lifestyle. She had the immense maturity of an adult and the cuteness of a teen. Was it the work of a skill? Or magic? That wasn't really important now.

"Yeah... Uhh you see... I kinda lost the fight and lost my memories... So I'll have to go soon to return for round 2... I just came by to see you guys one last time..."

"... I see. It wouldn't be any different if you died now anyway. Humph~! "(Kurisu)

" Ah... Now is no time to act like a tsundere... I'm sorry... Anyway, how is mother doing? "

"... She's fine, you left immense wealth which I've been managing for around 2 decades so we never had any difficulties... Maybe you should see her... Even if you didn't have much of a connection... "(Kurisu)

Nodding, Kurisu took my silence as confirmation and brought me to mother's room. I had only met her for a month since I've received my memories from reincarnation, before father was kidnapped and killed. Driven by vengeance, I left for power and unfortunately left her as well. It wasn't as if I could help, I'm not a therapist who could relieve her trauma from the kidnapping. At that point, I would just be a burden. It was better this way... To let the social workers take care of her... Before I reclaim the Vadim name, changed it, and gave her a new home...

But if it was asked if it was what I wanted, it would be a resounding no. I had wanted a normal isekai life, possibly getting overpowered with the [fireball] bombs that I've amassed in the month or 2 with my family. Then proceed to amaze my parents with my prowess... Get rich... And live a happy life full of ambitious goals... What a fleeting dream. I had to resort to taking 'sin' weapons, power of authorities, 'commandment' regalias.

Instead of gaining strength, I was just gaining control over the elements of this world... And taking it from others. By a miracle I would fight a strong opponent, followed by taking their power and adding to my arsenal. It was a necessity. And now that entailed killing Zet.

"Mother, I'm back."

"... You've grown so much... I'm sorry for being weak... You even ran away. Say... Will you stay with me now? This may be late, but we'll go back to the old days..." (Mother)

"I see. You seem to be very lively now. I'm glad... But I can't stay..."

A-re~? Why is something warm going down my cheeks? I only stayed with her for 2 months... Why is this...

Lost in my confusion, I looked to Kurisu for help. However, before I could turn my head, it was pushed into something warm. She resembled a little like myself, though wrinkles and grey strands of hair have started forming, she had stayed mostly healthy and lived a comfortable life. Her embraced heated up my ear, calming the turmoil in my mind in an instant.

"It's not my fault..."

"I know." (Mother)

"I didn't want this!..."

"Nobody did." (Mother)

"I'm sorry... For dragging you into this..."

"I'm your mother. Whatever it is, I'll be happy as long as you don't regret it." (Mother)

"But I regret it! I regret it so much! I let my friend die!! Who let's their friend die in the first place?! What would be the point of getting so strong then?! Wouldn't everything be pointless if it all ended like that... " My emotions erupted, with no where to go, my pale fist knocked weakly on her shoulders. The numbers of the system represented the maximum potential, that was why battles still didn't seem so straight forward in this word. Skills were more valuable. In the end, strength could be easily controlled to hit with no force just as when there was no system governing the world, like the previous world.

The strength of a little girl was cushioned against Mother's flesh, nothing happened. She didn't get blown to bits, or vaporised into a red mist. It was just a normal moment for a family.

"... You know, not everything has to be so clear cut... Even if you regret your actions, I would still love you regardless. The ideal was for you to have no regrets, but it was just that, an ideal, something unrealistic. Life is a mix of things, that's why in the end, you should choose what you think is best for yourself, and maybe for others around you too. Is what I think...

You need to go right? I hope this clears up your worries, even if only a little bit... Give it your best shot, don't make any more regrets. "

She shined with her own smile, urging me on like the supportive parent I've always needed. I've gone through something like this before... In Zet's illusion... Yet I came back here... Just how weak am I... Without the system, I would undoubtedly be at rock bottom. Keeping her words in mind, I wiped my tears off and held my head high. This was no longer the time for weakness, now that I've let everything out and acquired what I needed, it was time.

Teleporting into Dormitory, the 2 individuals were still there.

"Did you wrap everything up?" (Iyori)

"Yep."

"Then let's go. Sorry... Though I'm your senior I couldn't help at all last time. This time, you can rely on me. Even if you're stronger, you can expect me to back you up" (Houzo, [Beast] of 'Envy')

"Here Iyori, you should hold onto this."

Passing her an orb, it emitted a strange dark pink fog before rushing into her body, as if sucked by a vacuum. The fog also seeped into her skin, seemingly fusing with her. It was a gift from Kurisu. Undoubtedly, it would help us on our final battle. Iyori gained a reliable means of attack.

" 'Sin' weapon, Lust... I see, it would indeed be helpful. Is there anything else? If not, we should go now." (Iyori)

She had seemed unfazed by the gift, as if it was an every day item that she would pass by. She does in fact come across such an item at least every week, in her fight with [Chaos], she discovered many artifacts and ancient weapons that amassed great power. Unfortunately, it always ended horribly, causing Iyori to have a habit of destroying great ancient weapons. Such stories would be for another time. Anyway, this occasion was the only exception. They needed every firepower they could acquire anyway. They were quite literally preparing to fight a god.

Visiting Fez's gravestone near a tree in the vast open land behind the magic institution, we gave our last prayers before heading off.