Amazing

Those first three months are absorbed in a flash as we continue to adjust to ruling a unified Japan, and being brand new parents. Nobuyoshi has his father's hunger and fondness for my breasts, wishing to be by them always, refusing the first three wet nurses we auditioned, until finally we decided that the fourth one would just have to stick around until he learned to appreciate the services she provides for our family.

One day, while Hideyoshi came to rest with me in the tenshu and watch as Nobuyoshi rested I realized what date was approaching. "Hide… next week…"

"Is the anniversary of the hot spring." He states with eyes half lidded and fixed to the sleeping child between us. "I was thinking we could go… for a couple of days, now that you've rested and can travel."

"Yes." Is the only answer he gets before I climb on to his lap, careful to not disturb the baby, and kiss him deeply. The last three months have brought us closer somehow. Even though he is busy with his new position he's made sure to spend time with me and Nobuyoshi and attend to any needs he can, spoiling me with treats from the city.

His hands grip my hips as he leans into another kiss. "Rina—" his voice is thick with a sudden need. "Do you think we could..."

I smile against his lips. "I'll summon someone to get the baby."

As soon as the wet nurse walks out of the room I am picked up, my legs instinctively wrap around his hips.

Three months passed without this kind of physical contact, and I feel in a rush to feel his skin against mine again while he is trying to slow things down. His voice is hoarse. "Rina, calm down. I'm not going anywhere."

I suddenly pull away with a thoughtful look. Is that why I am feel this rushed need? Because I am afraid that I won't have him long enough. I'm afraid he will be taken from me too early, like Nobunaga, before I was done loving him. "What if you do?"

"Hm?" His brows knit.

"What if you go somewhere. What if I don't get enough of you? What if—" My words are swallowed by his kiss and when he senses my relaxing he pulls away.

He smiles gently, making sure he has my focus. "I'm not going anywhere. I've kept my word with you on nearly every other occasion…" His eyes darken, he's thinking of bringing Nobunaga back. I wrap my arms around his neck and his lips into another kiss as my legs slide back to the floor.

When I pull away his eyes stay closed and the look of disappointment is still visible. My words are stern at first but soften towards the end. "Enough. I know that if there is a way, you will find it. I trust you on all matters as I know you do the same with me." When his eyes open they are softer and more at ease.

His voice is lustful again as he pulls me closer and begins to unwrap my robes. "Thank you." His lips meet mine, hungry.

My robes hit the floor and he pulls away to remove his own. His eyes scan my changed body. The scars of Kenshin are no longer the most prominent marks. Looking like flames along my belly and hops there are scars from way Nobuyoshi stretched my skin beyond its previous limitations. My breasts also grew, small dark tick marks on the sides are proof of new growth, along with the feeling of fullness that seems to rarely leave them. Hideyoshi's voice is a whisper that hides none of his desires. "Beautiful."

Blood rushes to my cheeks, I would disagree with him, except I agree. When I see my body now I believe it is beautiful, because it is marked by love and sacrifice now, not control and hatred.

As soon as he is uncovered his need stands tall from the throne of his hips and I kneel before it. I welcome him into my mouth, eliciting a moan of pleasure that lasts until he reaches the back of my throat and turns into a grunt. Short and fast movements back and forth with him pressed to the roof of my mouth quickly brings a small amount of his salty warmth into my mouth. I have to push away, slowly, to swallow what he has given me and when I do he doesn't give me time to pull him back into my mouth as he leans down to pick me up off the floor and lay me on the futon.

His lips press to mine and quickly move to my smiling cheek and then my jaw. He quickly finds the pressure point on my neck that evokes a moan while one of his hands trail down my arm and down to my heat to slowly press and swirl at the top of the curtains, making my moan turn into something closer to a wail for a moment. I feel warmer than usual, more sensitive too as his pressure eases and movements slow. His lips leave my neck to find the place where my ribs meet in the front and trail down between the slightly swollen mounds. His tongue swirls around one nipple before pulling it in as his other large warm hand cups the other I hum, pleased by the sensation until he pulls away with an amused hum of his own. When I look down, expecting eye contact, I find him staring, amused, at my breasts. "What? You've seen them before."

He lets out a delighted huff before speaking with absolute fascination. "You're leaking."

Slightly mortified I raise to my elbows. This has happened before, just not like this. When the baby cries or when I take a bath they leak uncontrollably until I press them, hard enough to bruise. Hideyoshi doesn't give me the chance to stop them as his mouth is suddenly back to the one he had been at before and he begins to squeeze the other. I whine as I watch the warm milk shoot out of my free nipple, and he laughs. He has the nerve to laugh while suckling at my teat like a baby cow. "You! Stop! There is milk all over my chest!"

He pulls up, a slight popping sound when my nipple escapes. "I'll lick it up later." He smiles and I groan while letting my head fall back to the futon. His voice sounds too innocent for his actions. "Does it feel good? You said they ache most of the time from needing to feed… I just thought I might help... I was nervous I wouldn't like it, but when I first licked your nipple and you leaked into my mouth… It's very sweet."

I looked down half way through his little speech, irritation melts to humor when I see his sincere face. I take a moment to feign thinking before smiling. "It does feel nice. It's just a bit… embarrassing…"

His head tilts. "Why? I think it's amazing that your body is capable of so much." All I can do is roll my eyes and wave my hand to signal my approval of his new found pleasure.

When he is satisfied that my breasts are comfortably emptied he licks and laps up whatever spilled on my chest that trailed down between my ribs and settled into my belly button that he has to suck a bit out of before reaching my patiently aching folds with his tongue. Slowly he runs his tongue up and down before pressing in and scooping up with his tongue. He mumbles, his lips brushing against me make me anxious for more. "I missed this." His tongue once again laps at me before his lips tug and suck at the pebble at the top and his first finger presses inside and I moan loudly. Everything feels more sensitive and somewhat painful as he adds fingers that used to easily please me before. I do my best to hide the discomfort, to no avail, he knows me too well and slowly removes his fingers. While speaking lovingly. "It's uncomfortable for you?" I shake my head and he grunts before speaking further. "I can tell. I know what you sound like when you're pleasured. Should we stop?"

"No!" I grip his shoulders and look at him very seriously. "I miss you. I miss being filled by you. Please. Please fill me." My cheeks must be dark red from shame as I beg my husband to have sex with me. His chuckle doesn't help.

"Okay. You'll tell me if you want to stop though." He looks stern.

I nod my head. "Yes. Yes. Now please fill me, please."

The brush of the tip, the pressure of the first inches, and his controlled thrust inside brings back a familiarity that is slightly comforting the sting and ache as I become reacquainted with our bodies. His thrusts are slow and careful and driving me insane. "Lose some control Hide."

He growls against my ear. "Turn around."

I follow his command quickly, and am on my hands and knees, waiting for him to thrust into me more rapidly. Instead I feel slick fingers against the other exposed entrance. My blood begins to heat as he presses fingers in and I'm so distracted by what he's doing with his fingers inside me that when he enters me again it doesn't hurt. "Yes." I moan as he pounds himself into me, the sound of our skin slapping against each other fills the room along with the soft moans and grunts until he finishes.

He pulls me close to him when he's collapsed to the bed. "Good?" He whispers.

"Mmm" I hum while lifting my hand back to stroke his cheek.

Despite only connecting like this one more time before heading to the hot springs a week later, we feel more deeply connected.

The wet nurse travels with Nobuyoshi in a heavily guarded cart, made comfortable for them. Against Ieyasu's insistence I ride horseback. It feels amazing to be back on a horse near the front of the party with Hideyoshi. I feel strong again on the back of a horse, even as I head to a place that is sure to bring back some bittersweet memories, I know I can face them with Hideyoshi by my side.

It is late when we arrive at the hot spring. When Hideyoshi approaches me on his horse just as I was about to dismount, his calm words surprise me. "Come with me. To the lake."

"Right now?" I question.

He simply nods his head and urges his horse forward for me to follow him.

Filling my lungs with the cool night air brings a sense of calm as Hideyoshi and I ride off towards the lake with only one scout ahead of us. The sound of an owl disrupts the crickets in the distance for a brief moment a few minutes before the lake comes into view and my heart sinks. Memories of the last time we were here, when we were so desperately trying to bring Nobunaga back.

The memories of those days continue to flood my mind as I dismount and without rational thought walk towards the water and not the bridge that leads to gazebo.

"Rina?" Hideyoshi yells after me.

At the water's edge I begin to undress. Hideyoshi is that far behind me. When he comes to my side he doesn't stop me from removing the first layer of clothing. His voice is careful though. "What are you doing?"

My eyes stay fixed on the dark waters illuminated by the full moon. My voice is steady. "I'm not completely sure…" I move my eyes to him, pleading him to not stop me, to join me in the swim, and he begins to remove his own clothing.

Hand in hand, completely naked, we walk into the cold waters. A shiver runs through me at first contact that create small goosebumps all over my flesh and my nipples firm. Despite the cool temperature of the water we persist, careful to not get tangled in any of the underwater weeds.

When we loose footing we swim out past the gazebo and into the pool of moonlight. "I'm glad that we came out here like this…" Hideyoshi says, his voice serene.

"Mm." Is my equal tranquil response as I swim up to him. "This is quite adventurous of us. He would be so proud."

Hideyoshi smiles before leaning back to float. "He really loved us, didn't he? We didn't dream it?"

I smile as I link my arm with his and begin my own floatation. "Every day I tell Nobuyoshi how much his father loves him." Tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes. "He will read about him when he studies the past, but those records will only show what a great and fierce warrior he was. It won't tell him what a passionate and committed man he was." Just as the tears spilled from my eyes I whispered. "He loved fiercer than he fought."

Hideyoshi hummed in response, but that hum turned concerned when the water we were in suddenly began to heat up and vibrate. Our arms stayed linked as we shifted to swimming and saw that the pool of white moonlight had turned yellow. I spoke in awe. "This feels so familiar… is it?"

Hideyoshi's voice is equally astonished. "The phoenix…"

The waters continue to warm up and shake until it feels like the waters of the hot spring. We continued to swim inside the light. Finding a strange comfort in the familiarity of the phoenix's powers around me I begin to softly laugh and after a moment Hideyoshi joins me. Like coming home after a long journey, being surrounded by this warmth feels right.

Just as my laughter fades the water around the edges begin to rise and create a waterfall like wall around us. Once the wall is too high to see the end our bodies begin to be lifted from the water, and at the same time it appears as if there is another body being pulled from the water but covered in a sheet of light. When the three of us are standing on the surface the third figure looks up the light begins to fall from him to reveal the face that we have been dreaming of, Nobunaga, with a faint smile. His voice is the softest whisper. "I'm here."