Alone

~Everything was out of focus, like when your eyesight blurs as you lose focus and feel compelled to stare as you zone out. ~

~Images swirled around her mind, mixing together. The color of blush mixing with a forest, reflective silver and a piercing in her arm. Shouts and cracks and a beeping. Spark filled words drifting in and out of her ears until they became sharp swords, searing pain on her chest. Police radios surrounded her, men in masks directly in front of her, mixing with rivers and soil. Blades glinting in the dark behind her father, his blue calculating eyes staring straight ahead. Callused hands and soft fur brushing against her skin. Warm caramel filling her senses. Soft yellow eyes sneaking her a caramel candy off the tray, small little hands popping it in her mouth. A giggle. "If you tell anyone, I'll cut them up too!"~

Star Skyline woke up with Bakugo's arm on her waist, the warmth seeping into her skin. It was a nice distraction, and his mind was peaceful for once, taking her out of her own. Yet, she knew that the warmth only did so much.

She could feel the cold increasing the further away from his arm it was. She could feel her body ache in soreness, feeling like it was weighed down by more than just a friendly arm. Her skin crawled as she started breathing a little faster, and her heart started to race uncomfortably.

She never wanted to feel like that again.

Like she couldn't move. Like she couldn't think. It was like her brain had been clouded with smoke. Her memory felt sluggish, like something in it was tugging on her mind, but just out of reach. Every time she tried to focus on remembering, her brain would just… give up.

And it felt so much better to let it give up than to try and force the thought. As if it was trying to protect itself from feeling helpless.

But she had been. She had been helpless.

Star carefully slipped out of Bakugo's arm, biting her cheek at the sudden feeling of cold that replaced it. She wasn't sure why she had woken up here the first time, but she was sure that he probably wouldn't want her around much longer.

She was careful to shut the door behind her, remembering his worry about his kitten getting out the first day they were here. With a start, she realized that had been four weeks ago.

Her door was already open, making her shiver. As she walked in, she barely took a step before the sight made her stop.

The room just felt… cold.

Star couldn't describe it. It felt dangerous and foreboding, like a feeling of dejavu that she should remember. It felt like impending danger or doom when there wasn't any, but dread flooded her body anyway.

She felt so helpless. Someone had gotten into her room. Her private area. The one place she felt safe after Present Mic reinstalled her sound proof panels.

Someone had been here. When? Is this what Katsuki had been talking about? The tingling started in her lips and she knew the signs, but couldn't focus on them as she felt less and less in control.

Some of her items were on the floor, and glass was around a picture frame she knew contained her family. Had it been the Hero Killer? Was he coming after her father?

The cops had warned her, questioning her for hours about what she knew of the relationship between the two men. And the more she talked, the more she realized… she knew nothing. Her father was exactly the man he wanted the world to see him as.

Besides Native, the Yaoyorozu's, the Ojiro's, and the Shindo's… Star knew nothing of her father's outside life. She knew her mother had threatened to leave him affair after affair, but she never did. As if she forgave and forgot. Probably because love makes you forgive all things, right?

The rug was crumpled up as if someone had been moving on it, and Star felt her skin crawl again. Her lips started going numb as her hands shook.

What had happened? She thought of her dream, and looked at the crook of her elbow. There was a small mark there, but it could be from anything, right?

Trembling, her hand slowly rose towards where her chest met her neck. The breaths passed through her lips too quickly, her lungs not holding on to any of them.

Her fingers were numb and her hand was tingling as she pulled her shirt down. But the sting on her collarbone was undeniable, and filled in where the nerves in her fingers failed. It was real. It had actually happened.

-"If you tell anyone, I'll cut them up too!"-

It felt like someone else was breathing for her, like she wasn't in control of her own body. She couldn't feel how the air was passing too quickly through her numb lips, but she could hear the high pitched gasping in her ears.

How had the person gotten away? Why weren't the police here yet? Had anyone even realized? Did they just think she was passed out in her room drunk? Katsuki must have realized, she was in his room for a reason, right?

She started hyperventilating, wanting to scrub the puncture mark away, wanting to scrub behind her knees and her back, needing to take the skin away-

There was another voice near her, the alarm in the tone raising as the ringing raised in her ear.

Chest rapidly heaving out air, her vision was clouding with white dots while her ears were roaring with noise. Whoever was breathing for her seemed to forget how to as well, and her chest and throat felt too tight to inhale.

Was she going to die this time? Yes, this time she was sure she was going to die.

Star jerked violently as she felt arms encircle tightly around her, shaking as she tried to breath in all the way, but couldn't. She couldn't breathe, there was a weight on her lungs and her chest felt wrong and-

"Fuck, Freckles! You need to get your damn breathing under control! For the last time, I got you, just breathe for fucks sake!"

The powerful earthy voice was in her ear, and she smelt caramel again, unsure if that was why her head was spinning or if it was from the lack of air.

Gasping, she tried to respond to the voice, but couldn't remember how to move her numb lips. Even if she could move them, would she have enough air to tell him that she's dying? She's dying! Her breathing hitched, and her body started instinctively thrashing to prevent the death of its host.

"Stop moving, you little red shit! You're fucking safe, you hear me? You're safe! Just breathe, damn it!"

Katsuki? Bakugo was here? When did he get here? Is what he's saying true? She struggled against him, feeling panicked and desperate. "I need-" The words barely slipped out between her panicked breaths. "I need to- shower- wash it off- Katsuki-"

"Sure, when you breathe like a normal fucking person, you can go." His arms around her tightened, and she could feel his concern and attempt at calm mixing with her own panicked mind.

His hands warmed against her arms, and she didn't realize she had been trembling until she stopped. "Not here, it's a damn crime scene, Red."

The strong hold didn't waiver, and the pressure around her helped ground her. The clouding of her vision wasn't so clouded anymore. "You don't understand-"

"I'm not saying no."

She felt the vibrations of his chest against her back. The hot breath near her ear made her realize that her breathing was mostly in her own control again.

"I'm just saying not here." He sighed, his exhaustion leaking into his voice. "My shower shit is in my room, okay? I'll grab it and call Pinky or some other extra. I don't know if Ponytail is back yet. Just focus on matching my damn breathing, 'kay?"

The words calmed her a bit, and she focused on the feeling of his arms tightly pressing against her. As she breathed in and out with him, she started to breathe in more deeply as time passed. Eventually she sagged against him, exhausted, and felt his arms relax as she did.

"Don't do that shit again, Red. I didn't know where the hell you were when I woke up."

She turned around to face him, and saw him scowl as he slowly withdrew his arms. His crimson eyes were watching her carefully, and didn't match the rough expression on his lips. "Then I find you and... whatever the hell that was-"

She reached over towards him, and he looked at her hesitantly, but didn't pull away. As she touched him and tried to read the utter chaos in his mind at the moment, she just whispered, "I… I'm sorry."

He looked away as he stood, not knowing how to respond. He offered her a hand, and she took it without a second thought. "Just... don't do it again, got it?"

He swallowed, and she could hear what he meant. 'Don't scare me like that.' Hesitating, he let her go.

She nodded, breaking eye contact as she looked down to the finger she was twirling through her hair. With another anxious twirl, she gave her room one last look, and followed him out.

As Mina took over for Bakugo and the hot water burned her skin, Star just stood under it. She stroked the cut on her collarbone over and over, letting the stinging pain remind her.

Looking down at the skin in the crook of her elbow, red from her scrubbing, she bit the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from thinking about it. But even with the comfort of knowing she had people nearby... waking up in Bakugo's room and Mina standing outside the washroom door... she couldn't help but feel…

-"If you tell anyone, I'll cut them up too!" -

...Alone.