The end of our story

I didn't have to wait long for the ending result. The next day when the boys went to my mother's house for lunch and we stayed at home together, he invited me for a conversation. It wasn't hard to figure out what he was going to talk about.

"Hanna. Remember what I said after the first date?"

He sat across the table from me, with a painful smile on his face.

"Yes I remember."

I whispered, I was afraid my voice would shut, I could barely hold back my tears.

"You've never been in love with me."

"Yes, I like you like the mother of my children and… like my best friend, but I'm not in love with you."

I swallowed a big one and tried not to look him in the eye.

"I met someone I fell in love with. I know what I did isn't right, but I feel like he's my other half and I can't live without her. I'm so sorry."

"Haha…"

A weak laugh left my lips… what I wouldn't have given you to talk about me like that one day, but you never gave me a chance… In vain did I expose my soul for this family, but in the end he left because I was not good enough. Although I knew what the answer would be, I still asked the question.

"Do you want to divorce?"

"Yes, and I know it's a selfish request, but I want it to happen by mutual agreement." He pulled out a paper envelope and handed me the half-completed application.

I had neither the strength nor the right to argue. I had to let him go anyway, so the mutual agreement was the most beautiful way to do this ugly procedure. I picked up the paper and ran through it to see what he had filled out in advance.

"Will the kids stay with you ?! "

I was completely flabbergasted about this… and how did he thought that? He leaves us and above all he dares to tear my children away from me?

"How did you think that? Do you think the boys want to stay with you after you cheated on me?!"

"They asked for it."

"Whhh…what? THEY?"

I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"You mean… the boys did know that you had a lover?"

"Yes."

"And they also know that you want to divorce?"

"Yes. They also asked me to let them stay in this house. That's why I'd pay half the price of the house."

"Stop."

I held up my hand.

'What is this?!'

"Do the boys know your lover?"

"Yes… she is the girl's soccer team coach at school… and…"

"Mili?"

I didn't want to believe it.

"You know her?"

"No…"

I laughed. The damn female instincts… those beautiful peach hair and brown eyes… the young white skin ... perfect body… seriously such a woman stole my husband from me? If that was the expectation for Kevin, I don't even understand how I got to go to the first date. Why a father of two children? Such a chick could have movie stars… Why my husband?!

"Look."

He tried to improve the situation, because I was spectacularly upset, but I cut him off.

"Give me a week… I'll collect my stuff in a week and I'll be gone."

'Like I wanna stay in this house of traitors…'

"I don't want to kick you out…"

'Like hell not! Then what is this pre-filled shit?!'

I thought, but I didn't want to say it.

"A quarter of the house price will be enough… after all, it belonged to the four of us. And the boys… can see me whenever they want."

" Of course."

"I'll pay 40% of my salary as child support. I'll leave work earlier tomorrow and we can hand it in."

I have signed my name at the bottom of the paper, then threw the pen on the table and stood up.

I could see on his face how surprised he was, about how smoothly everything went. Referring to fatigue, I went upstairs.

"Until I move, you sleep on the couch."

I threw his bedding out of our room. He didn't argued with me, he probably expected that.

It could have been around 1 in the afternoon. I sat on our bed and tried to take a breath without screaming. I felt like I had been stabbed by a thousand knives. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, so I buried my face in the pillow so that at least I wouldn't cry out loud.

The fact that my husband wanted to divorce was something I had been expecting for years, so I could prepare myself spiritually for it. It hurt like hell, but I was aware that this was the price of our years together. But the betrayal of my own sons…

'How could I survive that they knew about my divorce sooner than I did? Did they cover for their father even though they knew what he was doing and they still dared to choose him? The twins were the crutches I wanted to stand on my feet from this emotional annihilation… but now how will I live on? Was I seriously kicked out of my own family and house as well? Did this… really happened?'

I didn't understand…

'How did I mess up? Where did it go wrong? How did I not notice it?'

I didn't want to meet my kids, I couldn't look at them with love then and there… since I also exposed my soul for them. Physically, I struggled to the extreme to meet their needs… I could have worked 5 times a week for exactly 8 hours, and could have earned only 200,000 HUF… and then we would have lived in a rented apartment... but at least I could have spent more time with them.

Before the boys got home, I went over to Levi's house. My psychiatrist's chin literally dropped when I told him what I ate for lunch.

'You handled the situation very well."

He finally said.

"If I handed it so well ... why do I feel like I'm drowning?"

I could felt some pain in my heart, and grabbed my T-shirt over my chest.

"Hanna."

Levi came up to me and grabbed my two shoulders, then looked me in the eye.

"I know you feel like you can't take it anymore, but you have to bear with it. After the divorce process, a new life awaits you, and you will put these memories in a box and place it on the highest shelf in your wardrobe. These physical pains are caused by excessive stress and anxiety in you. You have to get rid of them!"

"But how?"

I whistled.

"Tell me. How?"

"Look, your workplace is already close to make you get an ulcer, there's no point in harassing yourself anymore."

"But if I resign… if I lose that too, nothing is left!"

"You mean from the life you're about to divorce? Let that go too with Kevin. I told you years ago to leave them because they're ruining you!"

"NO...I can't…"

"Listen, divorce itself goes down in 3 months in a good case… if you move away and nicely resign then you will spend these 3 months unemployed. You travel a bit, also enjoy some wellness services… you finally take time for yourself and then you start with renewed vitality in a new place."

He had been saying this thing since we got to know each other, but then I was only stressed out about the work. Then Ani entered with a glass of soft drink.

"I know a good divorce lawyer, I think we're going to dispossess that dickhead! There are a couple of acquaintances who would castrate him for pot money… "

Yes, the wife of a psychologist can be like that… opposites attract each other.

"Levi's right anyway. Rest a little, you don't have to take care of that ungrateful brigade anymore. You are young, 32 years old… you'll find someone, and give birth to an cute little girl… believe me, girls are much more grateful, I just know."

"Thank you guys, but I just want to be buried at work now."

"If you want to work at all costs, choose a physical job where you don't have a lot of responsibilities."

The doc returned to the subject.

"One of my acquaintances has a maid company! If you are interested in it, I'll talk to her!"

Ani said heatedly.

"You are so kind, but I need a salary to support the boys ... and it would be nice to buy a house nearby…"

"You're a helpless case!"

Ani stormed out sullenly.

"And where do you plan to live until you have a house? We always have an empty room for you."

Levi smiled.

"I know, thank you, but there's also my parents' house. The boys go there every two weeks anyway and considering that I don't have a sibling, it will come to me sooner or later anyway… I just have to survive my parents…"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, compared to how much they hated Kevin at first, now they like him much more than they love me… so if they find out we're going to divorce …they won't be happy."

I didn't get home so late, yet everyone was asleep. The boys did not urge the awkward meeting either.

The next day I went to work early, avoiding the family breakfast. I wanted to throw myself into the new project with all my might so I wouldn't have time to think otherwise, but that's not how it happened. I don't know who said that the trouble does not come alone, but he was right. Just as I put my butt on the chair, the director immediately called me.

"Hanna. We would like to thank you for your work so far, which, although we are completely satisfied with, your employment is no longer worthwhile for us."

"What? "

My eyes widened.

"Let's face it, Hanna, we can employ 3 newly graduated young people from your salary, who can even be assigned to other fields. Thus, we will terminate your work with immediate effect. Of course, you will receive a letter of recommendation and severance pay as you were an excellent staff member."

"Hah…"

I couldn't react, I didn't want to believe it had happened. I didn't even had a chance to say goodbye to my colleagues because two guards showed up behind me who drove into my office so I could collect my personal stuff. It wasn't even 9 in the morning and I was standing in front of the company on the street with a paper box containing my change clothes, toiletries, mug and other little things. I just stood there for a few minutes before I realized what had happened. I felt my stomach start to cramp and it was also getting harder to breathe, so I immediately reached for the phone to call Levi. The panic attack hit me on the middle of the street. Luckily, the janitor and security guard spotted it and took me into the lobby. I wasn't conscious for the first 10 minutes when I regained consciousness I saw Levi's worried face in front of me.

He took me home by car. I had symptoms so far, but it never worsened to this state. Of course, this also only confirmed the doctor's opinion.

"It's better for everyone."

He said as he opened my door.

"Maybe you're right. Thank you for your help… and sorry for harassing you with all the bullshit."

I was ashamed to make him see me in that helpless situation.

"No problem, we're friends. It is natural."

He patted my shoulder with a smile.

"Now you file a lawsuit nicely, and then pack up and go on a vacation for 3 months." He grinned.

"Are you sure, you didn't organize my dismissal?"

I looked at him suspiciously.

"Call me later!"

He got in the car and drove away.

As I walked towards the house, it occurred to me that I had to live my life with a minimum wage for at least 3 months. Or, if I finally really follow the advice of the psychologist and get a physical job without responsibilities, I won't have a salary above 200,000 in the future either. 40% of that 80,000 is left for me 120,000… is still enough for food and petrol, but it is impossible to pay a rent from it. I stopped at the door.

'How will I pay child support without starvation? I can't stay with my parents forever… our relationship isn't too bright anyway, and after they found out about my divorce, the status of the house will be a family fire nest. '

Although my severance pay is there, but I don't want to touch on it… because if I manage to get a normal job within 1-2 years, maybe with a little credit I might be able to buy some crumbling panel. Let's just look at the value of our house… 60 million, a quarter of it is 15… if you take out a loan to pay for the house, for 20 years the monthly repayment can be around 100,000…

With those thoughts in my mind, I stepped into the house.

"You got home so early!"

Kevin looked surprised with coffee in his hand as he saw me entering the house.

"Yes ..."

"Give me a minute, I'll get the car key and we can go."

"Wait! We should rewrite the application."

"What?"

I saw in his face in fear… fearing that I still need the house and, or the children.

"I'll give up the house completely, and I won't pay child support in return."

"Huh?"

He didn't understand the strange offer.

"I was fired today…"

" But why?"

"The company would prefer to employ 3 younger people instead of me…"

I said cynically.

"And I can't work for 3 months on a medical recommendation, and then I won't be able to earn enough money to not starve after paying child support. This will be the best solution for both of us."

"I understand."

He didn't ask anything and amended the request. He didn't even care what medical recommendation I was talking about…