TBBM XLIV. The Race

We hadn't been very successful at finding the right video that Red was very comfortable to make. All that we had tried were either too complicated to film in one sitting or were too simple to fit his taste. We bickered like night owls hurrying to finish his project until an idea occurred to me.

"I've an idea!" I smiled mischievously.

"What?" he asked unexcitedly.

"How to move on?" he made face

+++

Dear Saint,

Is it strange that I find myself really comfortable now with Red? Is it odd that I find him really comfortable with me now, too? Is it even weirder that I find myself praying that you keep him away from pain? My heart sinks every time I see him suffer like that. And because of that, I find myself praying more about him these days than I do for myself.

+++

The week of the Midterms soon ended and while my classmates partied and travelled that weekend to unwind and relax, I spent the whole of Saturday out with my mother at the mall.

My appointment at the gender clinic was at 1PM so my mother and I used the few hours in the morning to get me some more clothes. I didn't want her spending on me like that but she was unstoppable.

"Mother," I flinched as she was raiding the stalls for dresses that she thought would fit me. "It's pricey here."

"Just say 'thank you'," she winked. "I got my bonus early. So, we're good."

"We should buy yours too," I pouted. "I don't want you depriving yourself too much for me."

"Look at that. My daughter has grown to be considerate, hasn't she?" her face brightened up. "I see your breasts are starting to get bigger, we should get you a cup B."

"Mother!" I ducked my face as her voice went very loud. I saw male highschool students looked at our way. It was embarrassing.

"Why? What's embarrassing about getting a new bra? You're a growing woman now. You should be embarrassed if you aren't wearing one---"

"I've always been a woman, Mother," I corrected her.

"Oh! Yeah. Yeah. I stand corrected."

+++

We went to a diner next. My mother usually picked on other people's cooking since she cooked so well herself. In fact, she usually tutored me every summer when we spent more time in our food stall.

"I'll have a burger, please," I told the guy who was taking our orders.

"Is that all you're having?" my mother interrogated me in front of him. She really had a big mouth. "You shouldn't be starving yourself. Are you trying to lose weight? Are trying to get all skinny for a guy"

"Mother!" I honked at her.

She was making faces as she confirmed to the waiter our orders.

"By the way, I saw that red dress in the paperbag. Did you buy that?"

"Uh," I bit my lip.

Before we left Red's place last time, he gave me a dress. The paperbag where it belonged looked familiar. It was the stall where we stopped by to purchase his clothes after we skated two and half months ago. That was the reason he made me wait outside while he settled the bill. I thought that was thoughtful. But I also remembered what happened next. He saw his ex and he kicked me out of his car. I couldn't tell my mother all that. I didn't want her to think bad of him.

"Uh, what?" she ran her fingers on the table.

"Somebody gave me---"

"Roma?" she cut me.

"Uhm...."

"Not Roma. Who?"

"Nothing... Just a classmate," I dismissed.

"Guy?" her eyes pierced through my pretense.

"You don't know him, Mother---"

"Handsome?"

"What kind of question is that---"

"I'm asking you if he's handsome," she flashed her teeth. "You never introduce anyone to me. I know only James."

"Because he's the only one I'm really interested in---"

"How about the guy you slept with---"

"Ssssh!" I shushed her. Her voice was particularly loud, people were looking our way. "You make it sound like something else. He just... We were just comfortable with each other. I---"

"Red," she rested her back on the chair. "You slept in his room a couple of times. You watched over him in the hospital. You had dinner with his parents. He takes you to the movies. He gives you a laptop, a dress, what else? Why? Why is he not coming over and introduce himself to me, huh? He takes you home like you're from a drive-thru but he doesn't bother introducing himself to your mom? Why's that?"

I covered my face with my hair as she went on rambling. I knew she had been forming conclusions in her head for the frequent number of nights I'd been spending away from home but it only blew up when Ma-ho told her that another neighbour saw me in the skating rink with Red. My mother had been asking me allot about Red ever since. She even asked James when he visited the food stall and so I was forced to do some telling.

"Jopet," she made face. "I know you're turning nineteen soon. I know you are a responsible kid. But I wish you are taking precautions---"

"M-mother! I'm not dating him," I gaped.

"Then why? Why are you doing things like that? Why is he sweet to you?"

"S-sweet?" I froze. I didn't realise that his actions were actually sweet. "We're just uh, comfortable."

Dub dub. Dub dub.

I hated it that every time I tried to defend myself from my mother about Red, my heart almost always betrayed me, racing like that.

"Oh! That's Roma, isn't it?" she paused a little then called on her aggressively. "Roma! Roma! She spent so much on you. We should treat her."

My mother had wanted to treat Roma out badly since I told her about Roma giving me a bag and a hair and skin makeover. We were just both busy that it didn't quite happen yet.

"Don't be shy," my mother came back clinging to Roma's arms. "Order as you please."

"It's good my mother caught on you," I welcomed her. "She's been bugging me to invite you over. I just kept forgetting."

"Yeah. I was just looking around," she smiled. "We finished early on set---"

"You still model for bags?" my mother interrupted.

"Hmmm... Bags, dresses, hair---"

"Oh! Such a bright woman. You definitely should use your skills and assets to make money. Allot of money!"

"Mother," I tried to stop her from talking about money. Roma was trying to live a simple life.

"By the way," she put her hand on Roma's shoulder. "Please be honest with me. I'm just a mother trying to protect my daughter---while my daughter is being too secretive lately. Can you tell me what kind of person that Red guy is?"

"No!" I covered my mouth. "Mother, we're not dating. Why are you asking people about him!?"

"You know my daughter is precious to me---" she ignored me.

"Actually... I don't know too much, either," Roma politely answered. "Jopet told me the same thing---that they weren't dating but our class thinks that they are. They're inseparable."

"Roms!" I gaped. I couldn't believe she threw me under the bus like that.

"Inseparable?" my mother's nostrils flicked. "Can you elaborate?"

"Uhm..." Roma smiled at me and mouthed an apology. "They used to have a seat or two in between them in class. Now, they sit right next to each other. They also bicker allot in class but they also always have each other's back. Red helps her. She helps Red. They make a good team. Red even caught the boy who locked Jopet up in the restroom."

"Mother, that was a bad prank," I immediately assured her before she went full-on war freak. "It went on for only t-ten minutes. Yeah. Uhm, James got me out quickly."

"Is she still being bullied at school?" my mother probed even more.

"Not really. No," Roma assured her. "Jopet's kind of brave now. Red also deals with the bullies sometimes."

"Deals with bullies?" I and my mother said at the same time.

"I mean," Roma smiled widely and turned to me. "When you're not around and somebody makes jokes about you, he tells them to stop."

"I'm starting to like that Red guy," my mother placed her fingers on her chin. "Is he handsome? How does he look? I heard he's rich."

"Mother!" I tried to contain her excitement. "You told me not to give myself away easily to men and now you're asking---"

"If he's good to you even when you're not around, you shouldn't even second guess---"

"I think I've a photo of them," Roma giggled. "I saved some photos from our last trip in my gallery."

"Roms!" my jaw fell. It felt like she was feeding my mother every scoop that she got.

"Look," she placed her phone on the table. "Jopet fell asleep on his shoulder."

My mother picked up the phone quickly and zoomed in and out of the photo.

"Mother, you know I fall asleep anywhere."

"Fall asleep anywhere," she frowned. "Look at you almost hugging him here! Oh, but good Heavens! Look at him! He's handsome---one fine young man---"

"Mother, lower your voice. People are looking," I hid my face in embarrassment.

+++

Roma tagged along on our afternoon appointment at the gender clinic. I wasn't sure is she genuinely wanted to come along or if she was simply being polite to my mother.

I went in to see the doctor and got my injection while my mother incessantly asked Roma about Red. Roma willingly gave away almost every detail she knew, except those that didn't look good---like when he made me walk the highway. I asked her and James before not to talk about it. So, she didn't.

When I came out after my session, my mother's eyes beamed brightly, like she was completely sold to ship me and Red.

"When is Mr. Racer visiting us?" she asked, giddily.

She even knew he was racing. I rolled my eyes at them both.

+++

~~~Students' Week~~~

It was the festival everyone in our University had been waiting for. There were plenty of booths that sold different items such as local clothing, memorabilia, food and various other merchandise.

"I'm sorry if I told your mom," Roma tapped my back while I was looking at the wristbands. She joined me.

"What can I do? You made her want to meet him even more---"

"What's the real score, anyway?" she giggled again. "You and Red?"

"Score?" I sighed. "We're really not---"

"Okay," she raised her right hand up, not convinced.

"I'm helping him move-on. That's it," I made face. "We're just friends."

"Helping him move-on?"

"Long story," I shook my head. "But I basically just ensure that he isn't alone when he's lonely. You know, real friends stick by your side even when you're not yourself."

"Don't you think you might fall for it?" she pushed even more.

"No," I dismissed. "He can't possibly fall for anyone. He's so hung up on somebody. Besides when I get to that, hopefully someday, I don't want to share my man with anyone. I don't want him half there for me and half pining away for some other girl."

"Well, to that, I agree."

I found it weird that my mother was dying to meet Red. I found it even weirder that our classmates were somehow thinking that I and Red were a thing. I'd never really mulled over the possibility of me and him. Maybe because I was inlove with James; or maybe because I just knew that Red was never going to like somebody like me. His status, his looks, his lifestyle were too high up the scale while here I was, an ordinary girl fighting her way to being able to live her true self.

We looked deeper and deeper into he array of booths selling merchandise when I heard that familiar voice, calling.

"Hickey," he called me.

My jaw fell in anguish. People glanced my way suspiciously. I had zero intention of adding more to the list of people who knew me for my birthmark. I continued walking, ignoring him.

"Oh! Hey! I mean, Beaut," he chuckled. "Come on! Don't ignore me."

"Roms," I called on Roma, who was beside me giggling. "I guess I'm about to be abducted. Hide me."

"Why? What did I do wrong again?" Red walked behind me and Roma. "Hi, Roma!"

"If you won't stop calling me like that---"

"Beaut?" he asked. "I thought you wanted me to call you pretty---"

The students around us started to make a fuss. Red used to get allot of attention for his looks and it radiated to me since he kept bothering me.

"Oh my God! He's so handsome," I heard a few girls scream.

"What?" Red grabbed me on the wrist, like he always did. "Why are you ignoring me?"

The whispers in the background got even louder. I couldn't stand it so I excused myself from Roma and pulled Red away with me near the Square pantry.

I stopped right where there weren't many people around.

"Talk to me," he let me go, smiling widely. "Why are you mad?"

"Red, why do you like to embarrass me like that? You always do?"

"Embarrass how?" he was playing the innocent card.

"'Hickey'! You kept calling me 'Hickey' out loud in public," I fumed.

"Yeah. But I called you 'Beaut', too," he put his hands at the back of his head.

"You can just call me by my name or---"

"Nope," he dismissed.

"Why!?" I demanded.

"If they knew your name they'll start to look you up on social media. Didn't you notice how some guys there were checking you out? How can you let your guard down like that?"

"S-some guys were checking me out?" I couldn't help but smile. I never heard anyone got particular interest in me. "Where? Point them to me. Are they handsome?"

"No! You're unbelievably unfaithful," he looked annoyed. "Flirt!"

"Unfaithful? How is that unfaithful?"

"I mean..." he trailed off and looked away. "Don't go back there."

"Why? I'm just flattered. I want to---"

"I'm going racing with Seb. Join me."