TBBM LXVI. Birthday Wish  

In about ten minutes, Red appeared on my view. His face looked odd, it was red. But his eyes looked earnest. He glimpsed at James as he sat there quietly looking at the floor. I mouthed Red not to bother him. James must be really flaring inside now.

"I can't even take you home?" he stood up, voice shaky. I could see how much he was trying his best to hold himself together.

"It's best that you don't," I wiped my tears as I steadied my voice. I couldn't bear to say goodbye to him. "Distance. We should keep distance from now on."

***

I sat there quietly in Red's car as he started speeding away. I watched James vanish from my window view, seemingly lost at what I'd just said. We were inseparable in the last two years but we couldn't be like that any longer---I wasn't the first girl by his side anymore.

I attempted to open the window and trace my way back to him, but Red rolled it back up.

"I know this must be difficult for you," his voice started deep then it easened up. "But are you really not going to even say 'Hi' to me? Don't you even worry I might get sick drenched in the rain like this? Are you really just all about that basketball player now? You used to care about me. You even embrace me---"

"When? I never embraced you?" I cut him, amazed by his confidence. "We weren't even supposed to be close but you started calling me your 'slave'---"

"Yeah! I'm supposed to be the master but you're the one who orders me around like now---"

"I don't order you around---"

"Are you busy? Can you give me a ride home?" he copied me. "Tell me that that didn't sound like an order? I even rushed back here. While you, do you think you can just hang up on me then call me when you want to? Do you think I'm always this nice, huh? If only I didn't miss you..."

"Are you mad now?" I broke into an unexpected laughter. He looked so funny when getting all worked up. "You said you missed me but you sounded mad. I even bought you a take home gift. I should probably just---"

"Where?" he stepped on the brakes and pulled over to the side. His face brightened. "You brought home something for me?"

"Yeah. Because I felt bad hanging up on you and ignoring your messages when you were being really nice to me," I muttered. "I thought you were mad, though---"

"I'm not upset," he explained, annoyed. He neared his face to mine. "You don't realize how it sucks that I can't really get angry at you. So please, just don't make me jealous, Hicks."

"Jealous!?" I was startled hearing that. He always managed to make me nervous. "You know I and the PAC girls are somewhat friends now."

"Really?"

"And guess what Angie told me, huh?" I grabbed him by the ear. "She said that you declined her every time she approached you because according to you Butty Magat will get get mad at you."

"Ouchhhhh!" he screamed like a kid, flinching. "What's wrong? You really look like a butt when you're upset or crying! I always had to watch over you because you so perfectly run in trouble every time."

***

Red and I arrived home shortly before midnight. I awed at how time flew by really quickly every time I was with him. I half-expected that I'd be pouting near my window on my birthday. But Red made all the difference.

My mother rejoiced at the sight of Red as we approached the door. She acted as if she hadn't been pushing me to James earlier tonight. It was unfortunate knowing that James and Roma---two of my closest friends---could not join us as we celebrated my birthday by midnight. But I knew that it was probably the best for all three of us.

Red had been surprisingly loud althroughout his stay with us. I was grateful that he was. It somehow filled the void brought about by James' and Roma's absence.

"I didn't get to buy you a gift," Red turned to me. "You ordered me to come get you while I was sifting through my brain trying to decide what you might like... other than me."

I kicked him under the table. He so confidently delivered his teasing while my mother was watching.

I caught glimpse of my mother. That only fueled her theory about me and Red.

It was embarrassing.

But I was laughing.

Dear Saint,

Somehow, this is perfect. If I could wish anything for myself on my birthday, it's that I don't want to be crying anymore. I'm so grateful that Red can still make me laugh despite my heart.

I know I'd feel better with James here but this is not his second home anymore.

+++

The next day, Red took me to his fashion show. I remembered him telling me about this days ago but I hadn't properly responded after being all transfixed to the pain of separating myself from James.

"You see," he said as he drove. "Master needs a slave who'd take care of his things backstage."

"It's not like I have a choice," I yawned. I hadn't really fully recovered my desire to do anything just yet. My hormones and heartbreak, they were a lethal combination.

"You make it sound like you're disadvantaged, Hicks," he flashed his airy smile, running his finger on his nostrils.

"You know, if you weren't handsome, that gesture wouldn't suit you---"

"You call me handsome," he grinned widely. "So, don't make me jealous."

He'd been saying that line frequently these days but I hadn't fully learned how to react to it just yet. So, I stayed quiet. It was awkward.

He smiled to himself as he drove. It felt warm.

+++

We arrived at the backstage and I didn't expect it to be a huge show. They said that Welsh and Keith were two of the producers for the brand and that Red had modelled for the apparel brand before.

"I was surprised Red is going to do it this year," Nina clung to my arms as I stood at the side of the stage next to her and Seb. "He practically bailed in the last two years."

"Bailed? Why?" I inquired.

"My mate's not really a fan of these things, you know?" Seb clung to my other arm. "I thought you convinced him to do this. He said you liked modelling with your friend."

"Me?" suddenly, I remembered bringing it up one time while I and him were on lunch. I said that I fancied what Roma did to earn money. It'd be impossible for him to remember that.

"Red's been all about you since he transferred, actually," Nina giggled to my side.

"A-about me?"

"You---" Seb tickled me teasingly. "I know you wouldn't break his heart. So, you're with us, now."

"W-what?"

Mark and Enon joined us when Red came out on stage. The event was for a sportswear brand and so Red donned different sports garments.

He winked at us every time he made an appearance but Nina and Seb kept saying that it was for me. I had no idea what they were up to or what Red had been telling them but they were all pretty much in sync.

The crowd was so loud that we were almost practically screaming at each other every time he showed.

At the end of the show, Red joined us to take photos. He was all sweaty. I could see just how chaotic it was backstage and they had to change outfits quickly. I wondered why Red dragged me all the way here. He didn't really ask me to do anything for him backstage except to carry his phone and wallet. He could've just asked his friends to hold it for him.

"Photo time," Welsh cried. "Thank you, guys!"

It was amazing how all of them seemed to care for each other. They really looked close-knit despite the differences in the things they wanted to do. I hadn't had anything like it. But I guessed, what I had with James and Roma were my version of it. Until that happy hour, I still thought if James, wondering how he'd managed to get home last night; or, did he even go home to his place?

"Hicks," Mark called for me. "Join us, fam!"

"H-Hicks?" I wondered how he was comfortable to call me like that. I hadn't really spoken much to him. "How do you---"

"I taught my friends," Red whispered as he descended to the back and placed his arm around my shoulders.

"You taught them, what?"

"Don't worry. Just trust me."

Keith brought with him one tall ring light which we used as artificial lighting. There weren't very much light after the show. We kept taking photos. I was shy that they had to include me but the clique seemed fun. I felt very much included and welcomed.

"Let me take your photos," I eventually offered.

"No," Mark refused. "I'll take you and Red's photo, instead."

"Call," Red held me even closer to him.

His friends were teasing us louder and louder. Mark started singing an urban love song. It was so old that it sounded funny.

Dub dub. Dub dub.

Dub dub. Dub dub.

I couldn't understand them but I found them all goofy. It was fun but I wished I understood what was going on.