Chapter 43

July 16 would go down in history as the date on which the first nuclear test took place, in the Alamogordo desert, New Mexico. While the area, known as Trinity, was lit up as if a thousand suns touched it, Ryo and Shiro had just made love.

It was late afternoon in Japan. The Japanese did not know the horror that awaited them, and - truth - in particular the pair that rested on the soft bed while catching their breath. Thus, they just caressed each other, while enjoying the post-orgasm, as well-received as the climax of the moment before.

Ryo closed his eyes, feeling Shiro's weight on his chest. Kazue's fingers played on his right nipple, but he didn't care. Gradually, the torpor of sleep was taking him, and he almost fell asleep, were it not for the strange question that came up next:

" I make you happy?"

Kazue's question was so surprising that Ryo coughed. Then he lowered his face and met the curious eyes.

" What? "

" Midori told me that you always had many lovers. Don't you miss the women you slept with?"

A strange laugh broke out in Ryo's throat. However, the finding of the fact annulled him, and he simply grunted.

" You exhaust me enough."

The delicious laughter invaded the room and made him laugh too.

" That's because you're an old man " Shiro teased, putting himself on top of Ryo. "An old old man, " he licked his chin. " I have no idea what I saw in you ..."

Ryo sighed, relieved to feel that the matter was dying. He hugged Shiromiya, but then felt him slip to the side as if the tiredness of the busy afternoon had hit him. Minutes later, his snoring also made him close his eyes, ready to rest.

However, he opened his eyes immediately, when he noticed a figure in the bedroom. He sat on the bed, looking for whatever it was he had seen between half-open eyes. Anything. He went back to bed when the image of a little girl by the bed almost made him jump.

The child must have been nine or ten years old. She wore a beautiful school uniform, with long sleeves. Her hair was carefully tied, but the thick bangs almost covered her eyes.

" Miya?"

He recognized her immediately. Not that the teenager of days ago and the child of now had much in common. However, how he can one not notice the restless eyes?

" Miya ... " he repeated, moved.

" Hmm? " The groan at his side made him turn to Shiro. " What is Ry-chan?" the other muttered, still sleepy and without opening his eyes.

Ryo faced his lover and turned to the girl.

Miya? ... Shiro ... Miya ... Shiromiya!

Amazed, he realized that he had named his daughter after his lover. What did that mean?

" I want to be a man!" She shouted, almost knocking him off the bed in fright.

" What?" He asked in a whisper.

" I want to be a man NOW! " her scream made him raise his hands, as if he wanted to touch her. " Uncle Shin said that women are useless! I want to be a man!

The situation was so eccentric that Ryo didn't even notice that the vision seemed to interact with him. He just found himself raising his hands. For the first time, he felt the touch of her skin, and he was moved. So perfect ... So beautiful ... Again, the warm heart teachings took him, and he would embrace her, were it not for the sudden way in which the girl walked away.

"Shin is an idiot", heard his voice, even though he didn't open his mouth.

" Don't speak ill of Uncle Shin! " she demanded, stamping her foot, tantrum.

By the heavens! Sakamoto, in addition to surviving the war, would he still transform his daughter into a demon?

" You won't let me be a man, will you? " she again bothered him with the subject. " You are the worst father in the world!" She shouted and ran out of the room.

Suddenly, a hysterical laugh took him. He felt the bed rocking and Shiro sat next to him.

" What's?"

Satoshi turned his face and looked at him. The smile died when he realized he had to make a choice right away. He needed a woman, a mother for Miya. She doesn't have to be pretty or interesting, he didn't even want anyone else in his bed besides Shiro. However, he needed a belly to produce its fruit. A woman of good lineage, who was proud of his descendant. Shiromiya wouldn't do that even if he was a woman.

"As soon as the war is over, we will go to Tokyo," he warned. " You miss Aiko, don't you?"

Shiromiya did not hide the surprise. He smiled, feeling his eyes moist with happiness.

"I love you," he said. " Thank you very much " Shiro hug Ryo, leaning his face on his shoulder.

What he didn't know is that Ryo intended to leave him there.

Sighing, Satoshi immediately started planning his steps. The war would last very little, perhaps only a few weeks. As soon as the bombs stopped, he would send for a comfortable home for the lover, where he could receive Mamoru's fraternal visit, and where he would always be available to receive him when he went to the capital. It was such a perfect plan that he welcomed it.

" I will always take care of you, Shiro, " he said, kissing his straight black hair.

�� I know, I already said that I trust you ..."

***

He was cold, even though his left hand seemed to be warmed by something the man did not know what it was. The body ached, not an intense and strong pain, but a pain that went beyond any explanation. He remained in the dark too long, as if he were dead, but he still felt the horror of his breathing. And then, little by little, he saw a small sign of light in the distance, like a tunnel, and went on. The light soon enveloped him in a mantle of sanity. Then, he seemed to see, for the first time in months.

His breathing quickened as he became aware of his own existence. He was lying on his back, looking up at a white ceiling. He blinked, moved his eyes, observing the environment. It was a white room, with two opposite beds, a beautiful closet, and a table. Not too big, not too comfortable, but it felt safe.

He turned his face and understood why the hand was warm. The fingers were intertwined with Saito's, who lay his head on the bed where he rested while sitting on the floor.

Jiro ...

Aiko wanted to call him and ask for his help when the image of destroyed Nana hit him again, and he convulsed. Instantly, Jiro lifted his head, looking shocked to see him react and raised the body to his rescue. He turned Mamoru to the side, trying to keep the young man from swallowing his vomit if it came.

Aiko spat a whitish liquid on the floor and then took a deep breath, lying back, on his back, on the bed.

Only then did he feel the real pains, far above the psychological ones. The pulse was burning, where the serum had been placed. The nose looked stuffy, the back and butt burned and the throat was dry. Weakness aside, he would even try to stand up if he had the strength, but he was so worn out that he could barely speak.

"You've been paralyzed since March," Jiro explained, weeping. " God! I thought I would never see your lucid eyes again ..."

He felt Saito's kisses on his hands. The sergeant's words took a while to understand, but when he understood them, he was amazed.

"March?" He murmured.

" It's July, Mamoru " Saito explained. " I'm so sorry ... I'm so sorry ..."

More than a quarter of his life completely erased from his consciousness.

"My body hurts," he complained to his friend. "Help me sit up," he asked, anguished to feel his back burning.

He was dizzy when he raised his hands and held the other's neck. Jiro took him, making him sit up and he tried to demonstrate strength, even though he was about to fall back on the bed.

"You have Pressure ulcer," Jiro said. " We did everything, all the care we could, but they seemed to spring out of control, " he said. " My beloved, I would do anything so that ..."

Jiro only realized that he was talking to himself when the weight on his arms became absurdly heavier. He laid him down again, this time relieved. He knew that the sleep that Aiko was taking at that moment was only temporary.

***

"I still don't understand why you're yelling at me," Shin mumbled.

On the other end of the line, the screams continued.

" You are a bad influence on Miya! "

" I'm not even there in Sapporo! " he returned, disgusted. " What did I do for Shiromiya?"

" No Shiro! Miya!" He repeated.

" No Shiromiya? "

A loud hiss cut the call for about five seconds. When he returned, he heard the question:

" Are you deaf or retarded? "

Shin counted to ten, while the cursing continued. He held the phone away from his ear for a few seconds, seemed to admire a tulip vase that adorned the bunker's communication room.

" Damn Sakamoto! You're not listening, are you? " the scream was louder, audible beyond the earpiece.

"I'm here," Shin mumbled.

" I don't want you to come to my daughter! " Ryo said, firm.

" The daughter of your visions? " Shin shrugged. " Like I want to be friends with a brat. Don't you know that I hate children? " suddenly, something occurred to him. " Will I survive the war?" He asked.

" Oh, that's right! That's why I called " Ryo replied. " Miya told me about you, so I believe you'll be able to escape the gallows or firing squad."

Shin took a deep breath.

"I'm relieved," he confessed. " Not just for me, but Mamoru. I need to take care of him ..."

" Hasn't he woken up yet?"

"Nothing," he said, dejected. " I don't know if he will ever be the old Aiko we know."

Ryo sighed.

" I am devastated, my friend. You know that what you need from me, you will have. I'm even planning to take Shiro to Tokyo, as soon as the war is over so he can help him take care of Aiko."

The tone did not move Shin.

" Are you tired of him? " it was cruel.

"No, but I need to get him out of here," he admitted. " I want to get married soon, and Shiro would be a difficult obstacle to explain."

" Marry? With whom?"

" I haven't found a woman yet ..."

" Are you kidding me? Do you want to send Shiro away soon, and you don't even have a woman to ...?"

Saito appeared at the door of the room at that moment. He looked desperate and waved his hands. Shin raised his eyebrows and didn't even say goodbye. Turn off the phone in Ryo's face and ran to the other.

" Aiko?"

"He woke up," Jiro said, smiling. " He went back to sleep, but he spoke to me for a few moments ..."

Both embraced at that moment, smiling.

***

Mamoru Aiko woke up again the same day, two hours later. He opened his eyes and noticed two figures beside him as if they were anxiously waiting for any vital sign of his.

He smiled at Jiro but panicked when he noticed Shin. What did Sakamoto do there? Why was he in the same place as him? Aiko wanted to beg not to be killed or taken to one of the camps in China when he realized that he no longer cared about that fate. Aiko faced him boldly, prepared for war if need be.

However, his body did not react like his mind and he did not even have the strength to sit.

"It's okay, Aiko," Jiro said, smiling. " The doctor has already seen him, and said that everything is fine, you just needs to regain his strength."

For the first time, Aiko held up a hand. His skin looked oily and he could beg for a shower, were it not for extreme tiredness. He put his hand over his face and smoothed his hair. It stopped when he realized that the size of the wires was much shorter than normal.

" We had to cut " the friend explained. " We needed to take care of you, Aiko, and we couldn't keep your strands long."

It was even comical that something so worthless could mean so much to the courtier, that he felt an uncontrollable cry weep over him, causing his throat to sting and sobs to escape his lips.

"My hair ..." he groaned. "I want a mirror," he asked.

Jiro stared at Shin who was standing completely still as if he was afraid of taking any steps.

" Aiko ... " tried to bring him to reason.

" What place is this? " Mamoru interrupted him.

"It's the Shin family bunker," he explained.

Mamoru looked at Sakamoto, who was too embarrassed to keep his eyes down, lowered his face.

" And what do I do here?"

" The city is destroyed, Mamoru. Japan as a whole ... We haven't lost the war yet, but it's a matter of days. There was nowhere else for us to ..."

" I want to leave here now " it was firm.

" There's nowhere to go, Aiko ..."

"I don't care," he said. Suddenly, he looked around. " Where's Shiro?"

Jiro just walked away. As soon as he found himself without someone to intercede in the conversation, Shin forced himself to face the man he loved. He caught the flaming look on him and sighed.

" He died? " the question was almost a shout. " Where's Shiromiya? " made a move to get up, fighting all exhaustion.

Shin knelt before the bed. The two came face to face.

" He's fine, Aiko ... I call almost every day to see how he's doing."

" Turns on? Where?"

Shin bit his lower lip, trying to find comforting words. He found none, so he was sincere.

" To Ryo's house in Sapporo ..."

As if rising from the dead, Mamoru felt all the blood rise to his face. Suddenly, he gained strength and managed to reach Shin. He knew he couldn't hit him, but he tried. Sakamoto held his hands, which were struggling to get free.

" Stop it, Aiko! " Shin asked. " You will get hurt!"

However, nothing seemed to control him. The desperate cry, the realization that Shiro was alone in the hands of a scoundrel, the death of Nana, and the end of Ai ... It was a combination of things and he needed to blame someone.

However, it was shaken shortly afterward. It took a few seconds to notice that Jiro had climbed onto the bed and was holding him steady.

" I won't let you do that " Saito scolded, seriously.

" Why? " Aiko asked, in tears. " Why do this to Shiromiya?"

"Aiko, it wasn't in Shin's hands," he explained. " He needed to save you, and he did what was necessary."

" Let me die, so ..."

" You're a selfish spoiled! " Jiro returned it. " Sakamoto treated your wounds, bathed you every day, cut your hair, took care of your serum, your tube, changed your diapers, and you still dare to blame him? I will not admit it!"

Each word struck Mamoru, like a spark of fire in a haystack.

" Why?" He asked, turning his face to Shin.

Sakamoto didn't know if the question was about his actions or Shiro, so he didn't answer. He simply remained silent, his head bowed.

" You know what Ryo will do, don't you? It will destroy the shards we managed to glue from Shiro. " covered his face, crying copiously.

Jiro released him and got off the bed. The two men were silent, respecting the desperate weeping of the third.

" I'm going to Sapporo. " seemed resolute.

"No, you won't," Jiro denied. " It won't come out of the bunker. You have no idea what the hell is out there."

" You can not stop me. "

"I can and I will," Jiro shouted. Then he tried to calm himself. " I know you've been away for months, that you have no idea what life has become, Aiko. But you need to trust me. Shiro is alive and well. He is protected. At the moment, you will not be able to see it, but it is for a short time. Soon you will meet, I promise."

Aiko closed his eyes. Logically, he didn't accept the words, but he played the game.

" And Minikui? Did you manage to save my cat?"

" Your old and obese cat is out there, by the bunker. Don't worry, he survived."

" Have you heard from the girls?"

" Aiko, we know nothing but military information. Forgive me, they probably died. Much of the factories were set on fire."

It felt like a nightmare.

" You need to rest " Jiro tried to calm him down. " You need to regain your strength. Tomorrow you will take a shower, you will eat. Now, for now, try not to think."

Aiko took the advice. However, it took a long time to sleep. He only closed his eyes when the tears finally drained him.

***

"He hates me," Shin said to his friend.

The smoky air of the imperial garden seemed too heavy. However, Sakamoto was unable to stay in the same room as Mamoru. The weight of the courtier's angry gaze resembled anvils on his shoulders.

" On the contrary, Aiko loves you " Jiro replied, squeezing his friend's shoulders. " You need to try to approach him, give him support. Aiko is in a very difficult situation, away from the real world for too long. And he is confused, bitter. That's when you should show yourself.

"I don't even know what to say to him." Shin turned to the other. " I said a lot of bad things before the bombs."

" But you regret it, don't you?"

The other nodded, unsure.

" A part of me still hates him for being who are. But the other part thinks only of protecting and caring for him."

Saito pulled a cigarette out of his pocket. He lit and swallowed while he thought of good advice. There was not much to say, so he just handed the cigarette to his friend, sharing the drug with him.

" Will you give up Aiko's love?" He asked seriously.

" Even if I wanted to " the answer was frank. " Even if I fought with all my might ... Even so, I would always love Mamoru."

Those words echoed, calming Jiro's heart.

***

Ryo Satoshi entered the small bakery north of Sapporo. He observed the environment, immediately realizing that it was not as beautiful and organized as it was months ago. The variety of cakes to be offered was small, and the place was empty, except for the presence of a big, smiling man on one of the benches.

" Miura Ota " Ryo greeted him, bowing. " It's a pleasure to see you again."

"I say the same," the man stood up, also bowing respectfully. " Sit down, Ryo-san, we need to talk."

The appeal was well received, and Ryo fixed himself in front of the man and was soon served tea by an astute servant, who appeared as soon as the man settled himself in his chair.

" Do you know the rumors yet?"

" Rumors?" Ryo raised his eyebrows. " There are many rumors lately. What would that be?"

Ota looked sideways and replied as soon as he noticed that they were both alone.

" It seems that Stalin is interested in Hokkaido."

Ryo hadn't heard anything about it. It was bad news, and he did not hide his disappointment.

" You know what communists are like, don't you? " Ota asked. " I prefer an American to lower my pants every night and fuck me mercilessly than to live in a communist state. " Despite the vulgarity of the comment, it was frank. " I'm going to move to Tokyo soon, but unfortunately a good part of my factories are here. So..."

" Then?"

" Do you remember our conversation at Ai, two or three years ago?"

Ryo seemed to meditate for a few minutes. He remembered meeting with Ota, but all he could think of was the image of Shiromiya dancing and then sitting in the garden with Jiro.

"Refresh my memory," he asked.

" My daughter is seventeen. She is a very affectionate, kind, intelligent young woman and was prepared to be a good wife.

Ryo takes a deep breath. He felt a thousand butterflies in his stomach, realizing that the moment had come.

" I'll leave all my goods to her, Ryo-san. I want you to take charge of everything I own. And my little Hana needs a man. So I would like to offer it to you ..."

Ryo didn't have to think.

" It will be an immeasurable pleasure."

Miura Ota smiled happily.

" I want you to meet her before the wedding. We can make an engagement dinner, what do you think?"

" It's ok. I can prepare something like this."

" So in a week?"

He wouldn't be able to send Shiromiya away in such a short time. However, it was just an engagement dinner, and he could hide it in the room, tell him a lie and ask him not to show up that night.

" A week is more than enough time for my servant to organize a nice reception."

Upon entering the car, about half an hour later, Ryo smiled with such vigor that he was looked at with a strange look by Tadao.

However, he said nothing to the servant. It so precious destiny needed to be protected by silence.

Everything was moving as Kami-sama had planned for him ...

***

Saito Jiro entered the room. He looked at his friend, who seemed to be in a trance again. However, as soon as he looked away, he knew he was fine.

"I went up to the surface early, " Aiko said, surprising his friend. " Everything is destroyed " his voice was mortified.

" What time did you go?

He and Shin did not usually leave him alone, however, that morning, Shin had been called to an emergency meeting and Jiro went to throw the sand out of Minikui's box.

" Why are people so bad?"

The question made Saito shrug. He imagined how difficult it was for Mamoru to realize that his beautiful city was no more.

" Did the human being betray his creator, what he would not do to his fellow man or animals?"

The frank words made the courtier nod.

"I need a huge favor," Mamoru said, changing his tone. " I know that what I'm going to ask is something very heavy, but I have nowhere else to turn."

Saito knelt before the man he loved. Aiko looked so tired, his dark circles were intense and her skin was pale.

"You know I would do anything ..." he said. "Anything," he repeated. " There is nothing I would not do for you ..."

Aiko smiled.

" Even putting your own life at risk?"

" I don't value my life very much if you didn't notice " the other laughed.

Aiko was serious. He took a deep breath.

"I would," he said. "But when I came up this morning ..." he watered. " I don't even have the strength to get to the garden, how could I go to Sapporo?"

" Do you want me to go after Shiro? " Jiro realized the intention of the words. " Do you want me to bring it back to you?"

" No. I want you to disappear with him. I want you to take him away from Ryo, to a place where Satoshi will never find out where he is. Even if I never see him again, I will know that he will be fine with you."

The words were so surprising that Jiro felt his breath quicken.

" Aiko, but ... What if Ryo is being a good companion? What if Ryo loves him?"

" Ryo doesn't love him. Ryo despises him because he is poor and because he was once a prostitute. Worse, Ryo sees him as a freak, even though he desires his body. Ryo will deceive him, will destroy him, will reduce him to the same dust that today is Tokyo. I need to save him, Jiro ... I would die if I saw him again as I found him."

The sergeant's silence kept him going.

" When I found Shiro, he was dying. He was raped daily, and he was not fed. His eyes were dead as if there was only pain in him. But in Nana's lap, he was reborn. However, some pains are not erased, Jiro. And they can come back, depending on how Ryo treats him " he held Saito's hands in his. " I beg you, just go see him. I know it's dangerous, but you're a military man, and you're so smart. If there is anyone who can go to save Shiro, it is you. If he disappears from Ryo's house, I will know that it was you who stole he. You don't need to write to me, you don't need to let me know where you are ... because I'll be calm, he'll be in good hands."

" Are you afraid that if I tell you, Shin will find out and report back to Ryo?"

" Yes, Ryo doesn't love Shiro, but he once told me that he was very fond of his 'toy'. "

Saito pulled Aiko's hands to his lips. He kissed them warmly.

"I will save your boy," he promised. " And I swear, if Ryo is hurting him, he'll never put his eyes on him again."