Jill's Existence

Calian POV

"You sure you want to hear this?" I nervously said and Jill cocked her head as she squinted her eyes in further suspicion. "How bad could it be?" She spoke, crossing her arms in reserved judgement, I can predict that she won't take what's reality too well. Gather your thoughts and bearing, the truth is what she deserved.

"Before that, I'll have to explain about where I came from and where you came from. You see, the world you came from is called a 'sub-world' courtesy of a voice from Mount Olympus, and the world I came from was referred as the 'main-world'," I first cleared up the starting differences of our two worlds.

"So, I'm technically lesser than you?" Wait what? I'm sorry? "Where did you get the thought from?" I'm genuinely baffled, she could very well pound me to the ground. "Sub means less or below so I assume..." No one would think of that, where's your pride and honor. "That's not what it meant," I instantly dismissed her.

"Continuing on, so, don't take this too harshly. In the 'main-world' I came from , you were sort of a game," I began to mutter through the end of it. "Pardon?" Jill blanched, well this is bad. "You were one of the main characters in a popular long-standing game franchise," I finally said it, and oh Jill looked so pale.

"You mean, I am a game? My whole life, it's only ones and zeroes?" Jill raised her hands and looked at them in lonesome, it is true that the eyes were the windows to the soul and at this moment, her soul is simply empty. "No, no, you're life is not a game, how are you here if you're a game?" I began convincing, but will it work?

"I'm here because... because a game made me in the first place," Goddammit, how is she even easily believing this in the first place, I mean it's true but shouldn't she show some sign of disbelief? "Look, look, look, I think therefore I am, you think therefore you are. You can doubt your existence, that's only because you are an existence."

Gotta pull out the Descartes card right there. "But... how do I know if I'm even real," oh my God, I just explained that! "You know you're real, you think, you sense, you understand, if you can even believe that you aren't real, just the fact alone proves you are real. Because every contradictory only exists through a consistency, and you can think of any contradictories because you're the consistency."

"Your life's consistent, you exist, you are here, standing right in front of me and no matter how hard I think you're not here, you're still here. Just as much as you thinking that you're not real, you're still real," I grabbed her hand and looked her in the eye, trying to pull out that hopelessness and inject in the conviction of reality in which she exists, I'm talking around in a loop, aren't I?

"Look, games behave in a pattern, thoughts coded to the exact same lines no matter how much you played a game, it stays the same, just a number of coded actions where the players control the character. Do you think any player controlled your whole life, your entire thoughts? Of course not! You feel tired, you feel hungry, you feel the taste of food in your mouth and the stench of zombies through your nose."

"That's all you, if anyone could program all that, I'll kill myself," that should assure her, at least I think so cause if it didn't, I don't know what else to do. "Ok," Jill finally said something, only, 'ok' seems a little too vague? "Ok?" I sort of asked with my head tilted, what does 'ok' mean? "Ok," Jill said once more and please stop with the 'ok'.

"I'm real," her reaction is super slow but I guess she's collecting herself more and more, her brain running more than her mouth, she needs to really seep everything in. "Yes, you're real," I replied slowly, sometimes, you don't have to be fast to win something, you just have to relax, take things at a leisurely pace.

One day, you went to watch the Matrix and after watching it, you begin to question your existence. But wait, moments after that questioning phase, you realized that the movie you're watching, The Matrix is all just a fictional movie and with a very questionable story. That's probably what Jill is facing in her head right now, just processing everything and I'm fine with that, she should really take her time.

"Okay," Jill says and for God's sake please don't start with the 'oks' again, I'm done with it. "I've reached an internal decision with myself, I've decided what I am so let's put everything that had just transpired for 5 minutes out our asses and f*ck-all, f*ck my life, f*ck your life, let's just forget it, why don't you continue on about my future, hmm?"

Wait seriously, you're just gonna do that to me, well, her eyes doesn't seem all that bleak anymore and it looks more alive now but again, what? "Don't look so thundered, I did say that I get things over really quickly," that doesn't explain crap?! You've literally just been told that your whole entire life is the equivalent to a horror game and... whatever.

I shook and rubbed the temple of my head in complete utter exasperation, what is my life? "Fine, fine! Let's act like our previous conversation never happened and go straight into the next part of your grand chronicles," I know, I had a hint of salt in my tone but who could blame me. Like, what do I expect in the end, even. Absolutely nothing.

So why not just shrug it off, off the balcony down on someone's vineyard, into their distillation vats and ruin their wines! What am I even saying anymore?! Okay, back to Jill Chronicles.