Being Toxic, Throwing Rocks and Farewells

My mood can sometimes change after a chapter.

Did I piss off the Poison Calamity Body female lead of this novel to try and kill me because I just insulted her and her family? Yes.

Was there a reason? No comment. Did I lie on some parts? I did, maybe. Was I going to die? I'm REALLY not going to die, honestly!

Apparantly, having the overly broken ability to consume poison to train their bodies using the Poison Calamity Body (although the name sounds ominous) DOES not give you any immunity of my toxicity trash talking skills of insulting dead parents. Was this a joke? Maybe. But it was a bad one.

"I'LL KILL YOU!!!" Oh yeah. I was fighting a demon Xiao Yi Xian fairy doctor thingy-mageic because I pissed her off by 'insult dead parents and herself' move... Why did I piss her off? You'll get to that later.

"Trolololololol, lololololol~ Lololol~" I hummed out the Troll theme song (not the movie thingy of stupid trolls talking about love or some bullshit) and dived in the grass from the claws.

Xiao Yi Xian waved her head around because I was missing through the grassy fields. How was that possible? Maxium effort and skill. I cracked my knuckles and it was enough to get her attention.

I kicked the ground and spun myself, dodging the needles and catching some in mid-air. I threw the needles back with Dou-Qi, and they all missed because she was too quick.

She went for a strike, and I caught her arm before it could hit my chest. I whacked her face with my whole elbow, disorienting her temporarily. I twisted her whole body around me and slammed her onto the ground.

"Just admit it that you're pathetic and kill yourself. I don't want to dirty my hands that I have no relation whatsoever." I whispered to her ears. She growled out and proceeded to yeet me with her arm strength alone.

I blinked as I was sent flying in the air. I saw her roaring her fangs and claws at me and did what nobody would expect to do in a fight between a poison doctor demonic girl and one crispy blazer-wearing boi.

I literally struck her face with a large stone. No, I really did grabbed a nearby rock, and proceeded to knock her unconscious by whacking her with it.

Was she surprised? Very much so. Did it made her even more pissed? Absolutely.

"Ya-YEET!" I threw the rock at her in which in missed, I had to change my tactics. Because throwing rocks at a nearly broken ability user that's already pissed is going to make them even more pissed. But I'm going to keep throwing her rocks because it's fun.

Yes I am evil. I'm a honest little piece of shit that acts like a devil that 'obtains' entertainment from throwing rocks at people. Go to hell? Already been there.

"Hmm..." I eyed the randomly placed tree branch stick in the grass. Stick fight it is, then! (Meaningfally) Rolling on the grass and grabbing the stick, I pointed the stick at her with massive amounts of bravado and trollergery.

"Have at thee, woman!" I spoke with possible mocking french accent and poked her with a stick. You can tell that I'm not taking any of this seriously.

"DIE!" I whacked her HARD to the head when she failed to scratch me. She rubbed her head in pain and some annoyance and coldly glared. We repeated the same process until she had enough.

"TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, DAMNIT!" She spread the poison at me, but it was useless, because I was practically immune to any types of poison-

"U-uh...!" I take that back. Practically, my ass. My whole body felt like it was sapped from the life energy away when I took the poison. My body was paralysed as Xiao Yi Xian slowly walked to me.

"You've been poisoned. I don't care if you're Xiao Yan's friend or servant, but nobody insults my family. Either you die slowly and painfully, or I shall take your-" An uppercut cut off her sentence before she could finish. My body still worked, but it was weak!

She flew from the force and landed on her back, coughing blood from her mouth. I may have punched her jaw, but not to the point where it is dislocated or fractured...

"H-how?! That's impossible, you shouldn't be able to move!" She stuttered out in shock. I let out a scoff from my nose.

"Everyone's relying on Dou-Qi to move your body these days... Without it, you're weak. But I've trained to the point where I don't need Dou-Qi anyways!" I stretched my arms in preparation for an asswhooping. My Dou-Qi may have been sucked out of commission, but I could still move my bodie!

"RRRrrr!" She growled out in irritation and pulled out a pair of needles. I casually spun a karambit in my fingers much to her surprise and shock that I stole the gift I just gave her. Well, technically it's mine...

We clashed metal and blades each other. For some reason, that sentence does not make ANY sense whatsoever because I'm continuing to block every attacks she has just with only one hand. I dare to say it, but this is easy.

Oh wait, she deflected my surprise strike on her and parried it, sending my arm away from myself, leaving me opened for any attacks. I didn't see it coming.

Literally. I have two needles on my eyeballs right now if I recall correctly. Ouch, it hurts. I felt a kick on my gut, sending me towards the ground and dropping my only melee weapon in shock. My ribs are broken. Ow, that hurts.

That's it for karma for not paying any attention to the fight and messing around. I couldn't see shit, and that was bad. I used my other 4 senses to make a mental image of the fight in my head.

"My eyes. I can't see shit because of you." I blocked a strike with my arm unconsciously and parried the blow and round-house kicked her. Wait, this could be a good thing! If I'm blind, I won't be able to continue describing shitshow now! Yay!

"Fuck my eyesight's back. Damn." My eyes instantly regenerated from my displeasure of describing shit. I'm lazy~

"Also, FUCK SYSTEMS! FUCK THEM ALL! SYSTEMS ARE CHEATING OP BROKEN ABILITIES FOR PUSSIES THAT WANT TO FUCK THEIR WAIFUS! FUCK THEM- Oof." I bit my tongue when Xiao Yi Xian kicked me in the face. My jaw bit my tongue. Blood.

I wiped the blood on my lips. "I wonder if you have some fanart from crazy h*rny people that like you. Rarely er*tic manga or fanfic? I know I'm not going to be put into p*rn or h*ntai stuff like that because I am in a product of a fanfic-" I let her kick my face to shut me up.

"WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP?!" I rubbed my cheeks. I glared at her and gave her the finger as I got up. I really want to, but I'm talkative right now.

"Please do not pierce anything sharp or dangerous inside eyeballs, thank you. Thank you for shopping at Markus. Industries. We hope to see youu again~ Concussion may talk a lot-" I dodged a kick from her as she was VERY annoyed.

"SHUT! THE! FUCK! UP!" She lashed out a blast of destructive Dou-Qi, sending me flying to a nearby tree. Ow. Okay, I may have to end this quickly before she could ACTUALLY kill me...

"Okay, playtime's over." I grew more serious and dark. Xiao Yi Xian looked surprised at the sudden change in mood as I was pretty done messing around.

I clenched my fists hard and decked her into unconsciousness. What? You expected some sort of awesome fight scene or something?