A random Honey Badger (Mini chapter)

'Grrr, those damn humans. I ain't some animal at the zoo, leave me the hell alone!'

A Honey Badger could been seen trotting along the side of a city road in Wisconsin, with her mini backpack, some food and water, and of course, her phone.

'I have it easy though, all I need to do is be myself, walk right into a store, endure those awful photo-whores, grab some snacks, and leave. Speaking of which, I think I see a Wal-Mart up ahead! Score!'

Trotting up to the enterence, the Honey Badger, who unfortunately didn't have a name, trotted right through the front doors and walked over to the crisps aisle. Seeing a tasty bag of spicy nacho cheese Doritos, the Honey Badger climbs up the shelf, and walks to the exit door with her prize, all while being pointed at and have photos taken of her.

Little did ahe know that she was quickly becoming an internet meme, with captions like "Honey Badger don't care, she steals your chips" or "I wish I was as ballsy as this Honey Badger".

An employee sees our dear Honey Badger trotting out with the bag of crisps and tries to stop her. Grabbing a broom, he tries to beat her away with it, accidentally popping open the bag of crisps, spilling them all over the floor.

Now pissed off, our Honey Badger grabs the broom with her mouth and whacks the employee's shins, much to the amusement of everyone watching.

'Fucking twerp broke open my bag of crisps! If I didn't want to avoid animal control again I'd bite those skinny little ankles of yours, you twig!'

Trotting back over to the crisps aisle, Honey Badger sees a little child taking the last bag of spicy nacho doritos, but freezes when he sees Honey Badger.

'Eh, I'll let the kid take them. Enjoy them kid.'

Walking away, she notices the kid following her. Slightly disgruntled, she goes towards the meat section and spots a tasty steak, but can't reach it due to the glass.

Seeing the kid still following her, she has a bright idea.

Pointing towards the steak, the kid sees it and silently walks around the counter, takes the steak out, puts it in the bag, and sets it down in front of her.

'Well I'll be, not bad, kid.'

An asset protection man sees the "transaction" and goes to apprehend the kid, but is stopped by our dear Honey Badger hissing at him.

Turning to look towards the kid, she trots over and grabs his pant leg with her mouth and drags the kid toward the exit, where luckily his mom is located.

Once at his mother, the kid speaks some language the Honey Badger didn't understand, as he points towards the Honey Badger and speaks, which causes the mother to do a slight bow to her.

The asset protection guy sees the entire thing and is still scared by our heroic Honey Badger, who still has the bag with a steak in it.

Looking towards the asset protection guy and hissing one last time, she pulls on the kid's pant leg again, letting him know to go.

The mother quickly runs over to the asset protection guy and hands him 30 dollars, which he takes to the register and hands the change back to the lady, all while thinking 'They don't pay me enough to mess with a fucking Honey Badger. It's wearing a little backpack too. Well, at least they paid for it.'

Dragging her tasty steak out of the store, the kid pulls on his mom's arm and points towards our Honey Badger, which prompts her to set down a thick wad of 20 dollar bills, totalling at 2,000 dollars.

Seeing the woman giving the strange green paper to the man and getting to leave with the food, Honey Badger figures it must have value, so she wriggles out of her backpack and chitters at the mom and points at her backpack.

'I guess I could take it. C'mon lady, help a Honey Badger out would ya?'

The mother nods, opens the backpack, and puts the money inside.

The kid walks up to Honey Badger, and, surprisingly, hugs her, which she doesn't mind.

'Eh, the kid is fine. Such a fine human. I thank you, friend.'

Seeing the mother and son driving away, our Honey Badger mutters "So long, partner" as she drags the steak over to a bench and eats it, deciding to change her thoughts about humans, and that not all of them were bad after all.

'I hope I get to see that kid again. That hug felt nice, like being in my old burrow. I need to get him a gift. Maybe a bag of those spicy nacho doritos. Yeah, I think he'd like that.'