Kenny The Loser

Myr could be seen in her usual attire with her blindfold on as she observed the "training" field that the new recruits could be seen on, lined up in neat and orderly rows.

She could hear everything the drill instructor, whose name was Keith Shardis, who she was greatly amused by, had to say, as well as everyone's responses.

"Alright you poop nobblers, now I don't want no screwing around, with you batch of meat tossers! Last group thought it'd be funny, to shove a corncob up a trainee's butthole! And you know what happened? They were asked to leave politely, and it was AWKWARD for everyone!"

The Keith walked over to Armin, leaned forward and asked "Alright Aryan coconut, what's your name?"

Armin could only stutter out "Ar-Ar!" before the drill instructor stood up straight and said "Well sweet Mother Theresa on the hood of a Mercedes Benz, you sound like a majestic fucking eagle! Can you sing?"

Armin stuttered out "I-I-I-I" before Keith got up in his face and shouted "HARMONIZE WITH ME MAGGOT!" Armin panics and says "I don't know if I can-" before Keith sings a really high note while Armin "harmonizes" extremely off key.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

*crick* The drill instructor turned Armin's head around so he faced backwards and walked over to the next recruit, which happened to be Jean.

"What about you muffin top, what's your story?" Keith asked in a nonchalant sort of way.

Jean smirks and says in a haughty tone "Oh well my name is Jean Kirstein from Trost, and after I ace this academy, I'll be joining the Military Police."

Keith looks at Jean and says "Oh, well you seem to have a good head on your shoulders."

Jean smirks and says "Oh why thank you so m-" *BAM*

Keith headbutts Jean on his forehead, and after Jean kneels on the ground in pain, Keith looks down at him and shouts "Now listen up, you double deckered pig fart! You don't get to join the Military Police, until you pull your head, out of your hamster hole!"

Walking over to Marcus, Keith asked him "What about you freckles, where do you see yourself in 3 years?"

Marcus smiles and says "I plan to give my body to the service of the king sir!"

Keith was unimpressed, leans in and says "Ah, Ah you think this is Harem of the Dead, you shrimp dicked fuck nugget?! Boy if you can't even pull a protractor out of your wiener slot, AND TURN, then you shouldn't even bother, trying to be with the king!"

Walking over to Connie, Keith picks him up with both hands on Connie's head, stretches the tips of his eyes and said "Well sweet jolly fucking ranchers! I bet your mom wishes she had swallowed you!"

*chomp*

Keith looked over and saw a girl, who was indeed Sasha Blouse, eating something while looking around. Walking over to her, he looks down at her and asked "So, what's going on in this neck of the woods? You got something to eat there?"

Sasha, still holding the potato, says "Yeah, I'm just, eating a potato."

Nodding, Keith asked "Ah. Potatoes eh? You uh... like some potates?"

Taking another bite and chewing, Sasha just grunts "mhm" in affirmation.

Taking a deep breath in through his nose, Keith said "Well from now on, you'll be known as potato girl."

Taking yet another bite and chewing, Sasha says in between chews "I don't like that name", much to the shock and horror of all the new recruits.

Sighing, Keith asked "You know... those are quite high in calories. You, uh... know a really good way for burning off calories?"

Sasha, with her mouth full of potato and chewing, asked "What?"

Keith leaned in and screamed "A 90 FUCKING KILOMETER RUN! NOW GET TO IT, OR I'M GONNA DIG OUT YOUR EYES, AND SKULL FUCK YOU!"

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From Myr's point of view, or where she was, you could see and hear Sasha running around the field, panting and blubbering unintelligibly until sunset.

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Once everyone was in the bunkers, Myr cloaked herself and silently sat next to Eren while simultaneously putting up charms that would make it so only Armin and Mikasa sat next to him and across from him. The entire time, Myr was currently invisible, sitting and silently sipping some of her juice.

"I don't get it Armin, why do you think Instructor Keith had so many bad things to say about people?" Eren asked with a slightly angry face. Mikasa, with a stoic expression, said "Because that's how the army trains recruits. They do those kinds of things to weed out people who aren't strong, both mentally and physically."

Myr undid her invisibility and cloaking magic so only Eren, Mikasa, and Armin could see her.

"You're very correct Mikasa, well done. I guess you must be the quiet but strong type, just like I had thought you would be."

Myr had frozen time around them so only the 4 of them could move. Standing up quickly and making space, Eren and Mikasa both grab the forks they were eating with and hopped a little ways away, while Armin hurriedly stood up and ran next to Eren and Mikasa.

Seeing this, Myr chuckled and stood up herself, and noticed that even the current Eren was taller than she was. Slightly irked, Myr quickly put a smile on her face and spread her arms in a dismissive gesture.

"Come now, no need to be so on guard. If I wanted to hurt you, you'd already be dead. I've been sitting next to Eren the entire time since he sat down. Noticed how everyone almost instinctively steered clear from around you 3? Well, you're looking at the reason. Now, come, sit, let's talk. I'll bring out some food that's actually good for you, unlike this crap they're having you eat."

Snapping her fingers, a variety of meats, veggies, and stews and soups, along with bread, appeared at the table. Armin was the first to hesitantly try some of the bread. Noticing how rich it tasted, Armin reached for the platter of meats and stews, only to remember who was amidst them. Looking at Myr with a slight blush on his face, Myr giggle and waved him on.

Nodding, Armin took a slab of ham and some beef stew and hungrily dug in. "Guys, this stuff tastes amazing! You have to try some!" Armin says in-between bites.

Eren shakes his head and said "Armin, she could've poisoned you, but sure, I'll try some." Mikasa just silently nods and all 3 of them dug into the delicious foods that Myr had brought out. Watching the 3 of them eat, Myr had a sad smile on her face.

'They remind me of when I was a child in my first life. Hungry, malnourished, spit on. At least they have eachother. That's more than I had when I grew up.'

Smiling, Myr said "Eat all you want, just make sure you don't overstuff yourselves. I made the food myself. There are many things you don't know about this world you 3, and you're all going to be in the center of it. Stick to eachother, watch eachother's backs, and live like there's no tomorrow. Make the most of your friendship, because that's more than what I had growing up."

All 3 of them looked at her after their plates were empty, their stomachs full, and thanked Myr. All she did was giggle and wave her hand as the excess food and wooden utensils suddenly vanished. Taking out a mug of her juice, Myr sat down and sipped at it until it was gone.

Standing up, Myr said "I look forward to seeing what you can show me you're all capable of." before snapping her fingers, unfreezing the time around them, and teleporting away to where a much hated character she knew about was currently resting, smoking a cigar.

Back to being invisible and untraceable, Myr wrote down a taunting message and took out a wooden stake, and after piercing the note with the stake, threw them at Kenny Ackerman's head, which his instincts helped him dodge, but not flawlessly, as there was a minor cut on his ear that slowly trickled blood.

Taking out his firearm, which was crafted unbeknownst to everyone except the makers, and his own personal unit, Kenny looked around and when he found nothing disturbed, he scowled and took the stake out of his wall, and when he opened the piece of paper that was stuck to it, his face morphed into a furious expression.

Tossing the note down onto his desk, Kenny dons his gear and lets his entire unit to get ready and head out towards the area directly behind Wall Maria. The note simply said "You suck at your job. Prove me otherwise next to Wall Maria if you have a pair, bitch.

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Sensing that her message had been read, Myr giggled, which let the Hunters know that she'd made contact with Kenny the Ripper. All 9 of the Hunters chuckled at the thoughts of being able to hunt humans for a change, as that's what they were programmed to be the best at hunting. All of the Hunters, as well as Myr, had donned their outfits that they had worn when they made their grand entrance.

Doubling checking their maneuver gear, they all nod to eachother and stand at the ready, waiting for Kenny's "Anti-personnel Unit" to come and find them. They only had to wait a few minutes before sounds of tens of maneuver gears zipping up to the rooftop where they were located.

The last to arrive was Kenny himself, as he walked up with both of his sword/gun hybrid controllers at the ready. "I take it you're the soon to be dead bodies that left that threw the stake at my head with your little message?"

Myr walked up with her Hunters following close behind, none of them having drawn their swords themselves. Myr gave him a cheeky grin and said "That would be me. I knew you instincts would be good after killing all of those people earlier in your life, and I see you still enjoy doing so, just on legal terms now. Like I said, you suck at your job, and my Hunters and I will now test to see if you and your little clown fiesta have what it takes to be killers, or, if you'll die. We leave in 5 seconds, make it count~"

Kenny laughed and said "I'll enjoy gutting you and hanging your masks on my wall. Very well then, go scamper away now."

Myr gives him a feral grin and releases a good amount of her killing intent, making everyone present, even her own Hunters, shiver, as cold sweat broke out on Kenny and his unit's foreheads and backs.

Faster than he could register, Myr said "NOW!" and took off, as did her 9 Hunters in different directions. Kenny almost instantly recovered and said "After them! Make sure they don't leave here alive!"

Maneuver gears could be heard shooting off, and the sounds of zipping wires rang out into the night.

Kenny and 3 of his unit members chased after Myr, while the rest of his unit spread into groups of 5 to go after each Hunter, who had taken off by themselves in different directions. Despite being one of the best maneuver gear users alive, Kenny struggled to keep Myr in his line of sight, and for some reason, he suspected that she was going easy on him, which didn't make him feel any more comfortable chasing after her. His 3 unit members were also struggling keeping up with Kenny, though not too bad.

Myr suddenly did a complex twist and turn, and looped through and in-between two pillars of a church steeple. Kenny and only 2 of his unit members made it through, with one of them nicking the sides of a pillar and falling towards the ground. Seeing this, Kenny grit his teeth and changed his course of direction to try and save his unit member, only to see a blur enter his vision and go right past his falling unit member.

Touching down on the ground, Kenny caught his member, only to see that it was headless. Looking around, he saw the man's head stuck onto one of the spiked ends of the church gate, with a note that read "You gotta try harder than that" pinned to the head's forehead.

This enraged Kenny. Setting the body down and covering it with the man's cloak, Kenny looked around and saw Myr standing on top of the steeple, looking down and giving him a shit eating grin. Turning around, she dashes off across the rooftops, with Kenny and his 2 remaining members following close behind him.

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The Hunter's were having the time of their life. Each of them had the instinctual desire to hunt, and with their Boss letting them cut somewhat loose, as she placed a limit of 2 kills for each of them, they had a blast toying with the Anti-Personnel Unit's members, picking them off one by one, before completely ditching them with what appeared to be little to no effort.

Once they had all grouped up, Ace said into his comms, "Boss, we lost out tails, where's your location?"

Myr's voice could be heard back, and she was laughing. "HAHAHA! Ah, he's pissed now! I just slapped his ass with a piece of wood I found on the ground when he tried doing the same maneuver I did around the Military Police HQ, AHAHAHA! Yeah, give me 3 seconds and I'll lose him, hang on a moment."

Myr's comm cut off and Ace and the others only chuckled. Sure enough, 3 seconds later, a very happy Myr could be seen pulling up right next to her Hunters, and still smiling, said "Alright folks, let's head home. My harassment has only started for that prick."

Snapping her fingers, Myr teleported them away from their current location and back into Nekopara. Several minutes later, Kenny could be seen zipping up to where Myr and her Hunters had been before they took off, and he saw yet another letter on the ground. Picking it up, he opened it and the message made him scream in frustration.

"Dear Ken Ken, I was right, you really DO suck at your job, and your unit is terribly trained. Seriously, did you really think that your little group of clowns could compare to MY Hunters? Dream on! See you late Kenny the Loser!

<3, Shiro"

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Erwin was the first to hear about the small massacre that happened to Kenny's personal unit, though he wasn't too concerned with it, as it really had nothing to do with him, though he was curious as to who this "Shiro" might be.

'I'll have to look into this "Shiro" and see if she's the same person that helped us when Wall Maria was breached. If she is, then it'll be hard to tell whose side she's on. I'm fairly certain it's a she, as her voice sounded feminine. So much work to be done and not enough time.'

Erwin sighed and took a sip of his coffee, and worked on paperwork and results for their most recent expedition, until a knock on his door sounded out and Levi came in wearing his cleaning uniform.

"Commander, mind telling me if you know who took our cleaning supplies? I'm not sure who did it, but when I find them, I'm kicking their teeth in." Levi growled out.

Erwin shook his head and said "I have no idea who took them, though I have an idea. According to Kenny's reports, the mysterious figure who led a group of 9 combatants to kill off 19 of his personal unit's members, was named Shiro. She might be the same person that helped us when Wall Maria was breached, though that just raises more questions than it might answer."

A survey corps member ran in and said "Captain Levi, we found the cleaning supplies! They were strung up in bags on top of a church steeple! We got them down and there was this note that we can't make any heads or tails of. You might be able to though."

Levi took the note, and upon opening it, gave a rare smirk to no one in particular. The note itself read "The man who abandoned you will pay, don't worry. I'll make sure of it, I promise. <3, Shiro"

Levi handed the note to Erwin, who read it and raised both of his eyebrows and said in an impressed tone "Well I guess that answers one question, now what about the rest?"