45

45. The truth about Malfoy

I walked through the castle with a new found energy. My relief and joy were overwhelming and didn't seem to decrease anytime soon. Most of the times, I was bouncing from class to class and laughing often. To my amazement, Severus had resumed to have meals in the great hall. The thought eased my tiredness in the morning and motivated me for breakfast. Of course, my change didn't go unnoticed by my friends. I would often find myself being my brother's target for his jokes but I didn't mind. In fact, it was incredibly funny to tease him and Blaise at every chance I got. To be honest, I felt more relaxed when I was with Derek, Draco and Blaise than with my Gryffindor friends. I hated lying to them and it was easier to joke and laugh if I didn't have to be careful about what I was saying.

Nevertheless, I was still thinking about the Polyjuice Potion, troubled with my nightmares and avoiding the Draco-Hermione situation. I knew Hermione was waiting for me to speak with her first but I felt uneasy every time I thought about it. I still hated Moody and his classes more than anything else. My arm was still bothering me but I refused to talk to Severus about it. I couldn't explain why though. The thought just didn't feel right at all.

The top of all were Harry and the tournament. Whoever had put his name in the goblet of fire wasn't a friend. Severus had refused to tell me what Dobby had told him concerning the Gillyweed. He had merely repeatedly implied that Moody had nothing to do with it. But I wasn't so sure about that. I couldn't believe that it came down to him again. Moody had helped Harry with the first task, he radiated darkness like my father, he had saved Harry from Filch and Severus only to discuss the egg's riddle with him and then he accidentally happened to speak with Professor McGonagall about Gillyweed when Dobby had been there? There were just to many coincidences but Severus didn't want to listen. Neither would anyone else for that matter…

"Earth to Arya, you there?" Derek interrupted my thoughts by poking my hand with his fork. I blinked repeatedly and nodded. Exhaling deeply, I pushed my empty plate away and looked up.

"Honestly, how much sleep did you get tonight." Hermione asked irritated and furrowed her eyebrows. I shrugged but couldn't suppress a yawn.

"Sorry… Don't know. It took hours to fall asleep but then I had another nightmare." Derek raised one eyebrow questioning and I sighed defeated. "Three or four hours perhaps."

"I don't understand why you're not asking for a sleeping draught. You've never been afraid of Snape so just go and ask for it." Hermione stated quietly but I shook my head.

"I don't want to take a sleeping draught for the rest of my live just because I can't sleep. As long as I'm able to attend my classes and live my life I refuse to take it."

Hermione shook her head sternly and went back to her book. Tiredly, I rubbed my face and leaned my elbow on the table, my chin resting in my hand. Derek stared at me and grinned suddenly.

"Been thinking about your boyfriend again or your lunatic teacher?" I scoffed and lazily cast him a smirk.

"Both to be honest. I mean I've got an amazing boyfriend. How am I supposed to not think about him?" I chuckled and Derek rolled his eyes but couldn't hide his smirk.

"Is he the reason you don't want to take sleeping draughts by any chance?" Derek asked innocently and I saw Hermione looking at us curiously. I closed my eyes and growled. "So he is!" He stated complacently but I decided to ignore it.

Hermione chuckled to my surprise and I cast her a questioning gaze. She rolled her eyes before speaking up. "God, you're acting so cheesy, Arya!" Derek laughed and Hermione grinned at me. Instantly, I opened my eyes widely to see my two friends exchanging amused looks before turning to me again.

"Cheesy?! I'm not cheesy, Hermione." Heat rushed through my whole body and washed away my tiredness in the blink of an eye. Feeling slightly offended, I scowled at them. "Bloody hell, never in a million years would I've thought to be described as cheesy. My boyfriend would so disagree with you now. I can't believe it…" I ended mumbling to myself and earned another laugh from both.

"Seriously, you lay in bed for hours daydreaming about over your boyfriend. Does he know about it? I mean how do you explain your lack of sleep?" Derek exclaimed still chuckling.

I glared warningly and played with my teaspoon. Laughing about my love for Severus… Honestly, Derek. You should know better. I thought and froze suddenly. My lips turned into a smirk when I looked back up at him. He returned a smug expression and continued enjoying his apple. With a swift move, I threw the teaspoon at his head… but he dodged it easily and grinned arrogantly in return.

"Missed me." I groaned grumpily and my smirk faltered. I'll get him! We kept our gaze locked while I used a small hint of magic to search the table for other throwable objects in reach. Determined, I forced my lips to drop the grin and Derek raised his eyebrows in mere curiosity and confusion. In a heartbeat, Hermione's spoon was flying towards his face.

"Missed me again." Derek sneered unimpressed. "I expected better from you. It's probably the best if you never mount a broom again, don't you think?"

Hermione grabbed my wrist when I wanted to throw my fork and pierced me with an incredulous look. "Stop acting so childish! And drop the fork, you realize you could seriously hurt him, right?"

I smirked provocative at her when she let go of my hand. "That was the plan… No, don't worry though. Derek's used to it." I felt Derek's glare before I turned my head to him. I faked a concerned smile and gazed at him with pity in my eyes. "Aren't you lover boy?"

His glare darkened even more when he mumbled something under his breath. Hermione watched us with a look of disbelief and incomprehension. Inwardly, I was having a very serious laughing fit. I loved and enjoyed teasing so much! Guess, that's my Slytherin part, I thought amused. I lifted my head and straightened to sit properly again.

"Oh, wait. I forgot." I exclaimed and faked a dumb expression. Derek's expectant, threatening scowl made it hard not to laugh. "You don't have a lover…!"

I dodged swiftly when Derek threw the leftover of his apple in my direction. I died of laughter at Derek's infuriated and offended expression now. Serves him right after all the teasing about Severus! Clasping my stomach, I tried to calm down enough to speak but I couldn't. Hermione had given up and gone back to her book, successfully ignoring us.

"Honestly, Derek…" I said in between laughter and wiping tears from my eyes. "I don't know… what I'm going to do when you're leaving after this year." Derek watched me untouched and with a blank expression.

"Probably, not enjoying your summer." He retorted dryly, diminishing my amusement in an instant. Still chuckling however, I raised one finger at a now arrogantly smirking Derek.

"You're an idiot." I tried glaring seriously at him but failed miserably. My body was still shaking from laughter now and then, making it impossible to sound severe. Derek sneered satisfied which felt incredibly pesky and provocative. He thinks he's winning this! But I wouldn't let him have the upper hand in our teasing.

In the blink of an eye, I grabbed the next best object I could find – which happened to be my mug – and threw it in his direction. Chuckling ridiculously to himself, he dodged it without much effort. The mug simply was to bulky and light to throw it as fast as cutlery. Hermione raised her head again and cast us a very disapproving, stern scowl. Before she could say something however, she got distracted and started staring.

"Missed again." Derek noticed satisfied, but my attention was suddenly drawn elsewhere. I snorted loudly when a person appeared behind him.

"You, yes." Trying to supress my laughter, I pointed subtly behind him. "But not your shadow." Derek furrowed his eyebrows in confusion but turned around with a curious smirk on his lips.

"Seriously, Jackson? Shadow's the best you can come up with?" Blaise raised his eyebrows and cast me a pitying look. Derek chuckled lowly and nodded. I shrugged and grinned excusing at the dark skinned Slytherin. He watched me with the most arrogant look possible, holding his head high and standing tall behind his brother. His extremely faked pureblood behaviour made me chuckle again. Blaise always acted everything but like an arrogant pureblood. He was self-confident, I couldn't deny it, but not naturally arrogant.

Suddenly, I felt Hermione shift next to me and cast her a quick glance. I realized then that she was looking between the three of us in great confusion. I could almost see her racking her brain, trying to understand why there was no tension between us – or at least between Blaise and me.

"I think that's yours. Try not to throw it at me again or I promise you'll find yourself quicker on the floor than you can imagine." Blaise smirked smugly and tossed me the cup, whipping away my amusement instantly. Embarrassment made me blush and I shifted uncomfortably. He had used my own words against me – I had challenged Severus with them. I growled under my breath and cast him a gloomy glare. That made his smirk only widen. His stiff posture and faked arrogant mask vanished all the sudden, showing his true self now.

"Or would you prefer being pinned against a wall?" He added questioning, making me scowl fiercely now. Less because I felt actually annoyed about him throwing my own words into my face. But more because I didn't know what to answer now. I mean I knew plenty of things to say but nothing I could possibly say openly in the great hall. I groaned in defeat and rolled my eyes when Derek and Blaise watched me with proud and smug expressions. Blaise grinned and placed a hand on Derek's shoulder.

"Actually, I came to fetch you. We wanted to do a match, remember?"

At that, I squeezed my eyes in confusion and slight annoyance for not having been invited. "Wait, are you playing Quidditch now?"

Whilst Derek stood up, Blaise cast me a snarky smirk. "Jealous?"

I scowled again and shook my head. But before I could reply something Harry interrupted us, making me jump. I hadn't even heard when he and Ron had arrived at lunch. They were both standing behind me and Hermione and glaring angrily. Well, Ron was rather glaring hatefully and I sighed. Will they ever be friends when the whole truth comes out…?

"You're playing Quidditch? I thought, it's been forbidden this year?" Harry snapped darkly and Blaise stared at him for a moment. His smirk faltered slightly and I couldn't supress a small groan. Hermione cast me a strange look but I ignored it and watched my best friends staring each other down.

"Of course, it's not forbidden, Potter." Blaise replied bewildered and I rolled my eyes. I felt proud of him though when he tried to keep the light mood in his voice. "Matches and trainings have been cancelled. But with our house teacher's permission we're allowed to play. Didn't you listen to the headmaster?"

Harry's expression clouded with anger and I realized that Blaise's bantering remark was enough to set him on edge. As far as I had experienced, teasing and challenging had always been more of a Slytherin thing. Most students from other houses couldn't understand the true meaning behind seemingly mean remarks. Then again, meaningless remarks coming from a Slytherin were always interpreted as an insult. I knew, Blaise was giving his best to be nice but he had always hated when people judged him without really knowing him. Before he or Ron could throw insults at a scowling Blaise, I interrupted them sharply.

"Derek, I think it's time for you to go now." I cast him a stern look and he nodded in return. He turned to Blaise and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. Blaise gaze wandered to me and he nodded curtly. Frustrated, I run my hand through my hair and nodded reassuringly.

I watched as they left, completely aware of Hermione's stare. Suddenly feeling annoyed, I looked at her and answered her questioning gaze with a lazy shrug. She raised her eyebrows and shook her head slightly in disbelief. Swiftly, she turned to Ron and Harry who had just sat down, obviously still angry about Blaise. I hissed quietly and filled my mug again. How are the houses supposed to get along if neither gives the other a chance?

"We'll see us later, alright? Arya wanted to show me something about Potions." Hermione's voice cut through my thoughts. Surprised and confused, I watched her. She definitely doesn't need my help in Potions! She looked pointedly at me and stood up. Sighing, I stood up as well and followed her through the corridors. As it was a Saturday, there weren't many students walking around. Either they were outside, in the common room or the library. To my surprise, she led me to the Gryffindor tower.

"What are we doing here, Hermione?" I whined and cursed under my breath. She ignored me and dragged me up the stairs in our dorm. She walked over to her bed and grabbed her jacket.

"Wear something warm. It's not going to be cosy where we're going next." Hermione answered shortly and was impatiently waiting by the door. I sighed in defeat and put on my jacket and scarf.

I wasn't really in the mood for a girl time session to be honest. The situation just before had destroyed my good mood. I wanted to see Severus and talk to him about anything. While we were walking, I imagined being in his warm, comforting embrace. I would hear his heartbeat when I rested my head against his chest. I would inhale deeply and enjoy his unique, relaxing scent. Surely, he would bury his face in my hair and I would smile in his chest… The thought was enough to warm my body a little and the corner of my mouth twitched upwards.

I was interrupted as a door banged behind me. Confused, I looked around where Hermione had brought me. The room was about half the size of Professor McGonagall's classroom. It was completely empty though. One length side had several floor depths, unglazed windows. Each one of them had a wide ledge. It wasn't exactly a warm spring day today, so it was rather cool here.

Hermione raised her wand, casting a locking charm and silencing spell on the door. I raised my eyebrows questioning at her back. Confusion, curiosity and annoyance made me stand frozen in the spot and staring blankly at her. Then she motioned me to come and sit with her next to one window ledge. I followed slowly and sat down, my back leaning against the stone frame. Pulling my legs to my chest, I turned my head and realized that we must be in one of the upper floors. Suddenly, I felt relieved that the ledge was so wide and I sitting securely in the window arch.

Hermione was sitting up against the other side of the window arch, facing me but with her legs crossed lazily. We stared at each other now. I waited for her to explain what we were doing here, she was rather looking calculating and trying to read something in me. I raised my eyebrows and rested my hands in the warmth between my legs and stomach. Hermione exhaled loudly before finally speaking.

"What happened in the great hall, Arya?" I was caught by surprise with that question and stared at her incredulously. She cast me a piercing, slightly desperate look. "And when you're already explaining yourself, you still owe me the truth about Malfoy."

My body turned cold and warm at the same time. Instantly, my heart rate sped up and pounded strongly in my chest. So, this is finally the moment… Either she'll understand or I'll lose my best friend, my only girl friend… I lowered my head on my knees and buried my hands in my hair. I took a few deep breaths before looking up again. I pulled my legs closer to my chest and rested my fidgeting hands on my knees now. I gulped nervously, my throat suddenly feeling uncomfortably dry.

"I… What happened in the great hall… sort of has to do with Draco." I said quietly and she furrowed her eyebrows when I called him by his name. Her look darkened in disbelief so I quickly continued before she could say anything. "I know… I know you're confused now but I want you to promise me to hear me out. My whole story. Please…! I want to tell you the whole truth."

After a long stare, Hermione finally nodded and I sighed again. How should I start…

"You know that my… father killed my mother. I was about one year old at this time. I'll never understand how she could love him or be with him. I mean, I remember the feeling of his darkness even after all these years. It's hunting me in my nightmares… and with Moody… But… well, I wouldn't be here if she hadn't fallen in love… When she became pregnant with me she wanted to leave him but he wouldn't let her. I don't know how, but he had blocked her magic, so she was bound to wand magic. But she'd only practiced it for about four years and Riddle's undoubtedly always been a powerful wizard. When she almost succeeded to run away with me, he caught us and wanted to end her resistance… The dark mark allows him to detect his followers. So she gave her the mark…"

My gaze drifted away towards the landscape but I didn't saw its beauty. I was deeply lost in the past of my life. Hermione watched me patiently, not interrupting me once. She had always been a good listener.

"Dark magic is lethal for us. A fairy's body is very strong and can endure much. It can fight dark magic but only to a certain extent… The mark killed her slowly and painfully. My father didn't know that she'd called Dumbledore for help but when she was dying he came and took me. He brought me to… somebody who raised and loved me for about five years. I'd dare to say that without him, I surely wouldn't be the person I'm today. I loved him…" I smiled absentminded. "Dumbledore acted on my mother's wish when he took me away from the only place I'll ever call home." I watched Hermione thoughtfully and she nodded slowly. I bit the inside of my cheek and gulped again.

"She wanted me to live with the Malfoy's for a few years before I'd move to the orphanage where my father grew up…"

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows and watched me intensely. "She… wanted you to live with the Malfoy's? Why?"

I sighed and played with my fingers. "I don't know… Dumbledore said he'd tell me at the right time. But I'm sure she didn't do it because the Malfoy's have always been by Riddle's side… I mean…" Irritated, I exhaled loudly and clenched my jaw. "I don't know why."

"Alright, I think it doesn't matter anyway. You'd no choice… So, what happened with the Malfoy's? Why the hell would you spend the evening of the yule ball with Malfoy. Or even talk to him? He's an arrogant jerk!"

The look her eyes held was the same she had had before she had punched Draco in third year – she felt angry and hurt. A cold wave rushed through my body and I buried my hands in my hair again. Groaning, I rubbed my face and blinked away some forming tears. Her insult hurt so much more now than the pervious years…

"Please just let me explain! I swear, I don't expect you to stop hating him now… You… you only know the Malfoy side but the Draco I know is so much better!"

Hermione scoffed in disbelief and crossed her arms. Her piercing, burning look was squeezing my heart painfully and I wanted to cry so badly.

"Fine then. Explain!" Hermione demanded aggressively. I nodded thankfully and tried to keep my voice from shaking. While I told my story, my heart hurt even more when I remembered everything as if I was back there.

"When I arrived there I was hurt, so incredibly hurt from being ripped away from the man who raised me. I was so full of anger, hate and pain… I felt so alone and unwanted... You know, I always hated Malfoy manor… The moment I set foot in the mansion, I wanted to run away. The whole house reeked of dark magic. I instantly hated Lucius and Narcissa when I first met them. They're arrogant, heartless, pureblood Slytherins. The only reason they took me in was because they knew I'm his daughter…"

I relaxed a little and averted my gaze from my best friend. I smiled when I remembered how I had met my brother all those years ago.

"And then, there was Draco… When I first met him, we were both seven years old. When Narcissa explained him that I'd live with them for a few years he glared at me… and I glared back because I hated being there… Narcissa showed me to my room and left me there. And then I started crying in that huge, cold bedroom which was supposed to be mine. Until my last day there, I hated it…! When it was time for dinner I was still crying. Draco didn't even knock when he entered my room. He was confused though when he saw me crying. He sat right in front of me and asked me what I was doing… Merlin, I hated him so much for that question! And I told him so."

I chuckled quietly but bit my lip quickly to stop myself.

"'I hate you too' was what he replied before standing up. Then he practically demanded to come to dinner with him but I ignored him. Well… and then that thick-headed seven-year-old took my hands and pulled me on my feet. I was so confused that I let him hold my hand and practically pull me into the dining room… We were too late though but Narcissa and Lucius didn't say anything. Then right after dinner, Lucius ordered us in the library. He warned us severely never to come late to meals again. Well… the next morning, I woke up when Draco shook me awake. He waited outside of my room while I dressed and pulled me with him again. The first few days were incredibly weird with him. I mean I've been raised with love, toys and bed time stories. Draco with nothing but expectations and coldness. He didn't know love...

The first day, I spent in my bedroom, except for meals of course. Draco came into my room and found me crying again on my bed. He sat beside me and simply started asking me what I liked with the typical arrogant Malfoy attitude. At some point, I stopped crying and answered his questions. I didn't tell him how I'd grown up though. But he knew who I was. I asked about him too and he told me about him and his parents. I tried explaining why I hated his parents or my father. He admired his father so deeply that he believed it to be normal."

Some tears were rolling down my cheeks now and I whipped them away roughly. This time had hurt so much because I had seen Draco so broken as a child…

"At first, we spent our time together talking to each other. But still, I cried every night. But after a few days not only because of my past anymore, but also because I could feel Draco's pain. Draco had endured so much pain in these seven years that he'd automatically adjusted, shut out his emotions and learned to do what he's told. One night, I just couldn't stop crying so I went to Draco's room. He didn't understand why I wanted to stay with him but he let me. So, I lay down next to him but I needed comfort. I needed someone who took me in their arms... I scooted closer and laid my head on his chest. He tried to push me away at first but when I refused to let go of him he finally relaxed again… Narcissa was furious the next morning when she found us together in bed. And then Lucius punished us after breakfast."

I fidgeted nervously with my hands. I didn't know where to look so I decided for my knees as some more tears escaped my eyes.

"I was confused and tried to explain him why I went to Draco's room and that he'd nothing to do with it…" I laughed coldly and scowled at my best friend. "He shouted and insulted me. I was so shocked… and even more so when he slapped Draco right across the face then… Draco fell on the floor and Lucius threatened that he'd get another slap if he didn't stand up immediately. And that was when I lost it. I felt so angry and hurt because he punished Draco for something that was my doing… I screamed at him… Oh, he was so furious then. Draco told me to shut up, but I didn't listen. Instead, I hit Lucius on the stomach – well with the strength of a seven-year-old girl. And then he hit me and I blacked out… I woke up in my bed again. I'd a huge mark on my face. I was too young to control my healing abilities, so it needed days to heal. Draco burst in my room and shouted at me for hitting his father. I started crying again and begged him to forgive me for getting him in trouble. That confused him because he didn't know what it meant to fight for somebody. He was raised to look out for himself. But to my surprise he came on my bed and let me rest my head on his legs. He laid his arms around me and held me until I stopped crying.

Well, from this day on I hated Lucius even more. And already back then I refused to respect a person who doesn't respect me. I got in a fight over the smallest of things. Either he didn't like if I talked back or how I was standing. Narcissa made sure I was dressing properly, she tried teaching me manners but I refused. And so, I got beaten almost every day. And Draco came to look after me every time I was crying."

I watched Hermione with a desperate look and bit my bottom lip.

"We had found a kitten in the garden of the manor and I brought it in my room. I knew the Malfoy's wouldn't like it. Draco knew of course and even if he couldn't understand why I was taking care of it he stayed with me and even smuggled food from the kitchen sometimes… One day Lucius found out…"

I hugged my legs to my chest. My eyes were strangely completely dry now, my skin cold and my heart beating slowly.

"He said he'd kill it. He was furious with me. For once he blamed only me and I was thankful for this one time. I wanted to lash out and release some magic, but I've made a promise years ago to keep it hidden. I cried and begged and shouted for his mercy…" I gulped and inhaled a few shallow breaths.

"He used the Cruciatus Curse on the cat… I felt its pain… I could feel it in every bone, every muscle. I begged for him to stop and he did… Only to kill it then… When he walked back into the manor, I run after him. Draco tried holding me back, but he couldn't hold me. I was furious and hated him as much as I hated my father. I hated him for killing our cat, for hurting Draco all these years and for hurting me… Somehow, I made him fall on the ground and hit him wherever I could. But I was only a small girl and he threw me on the floor easily… Lucius raised his wand then – making me experience the Cruciatus for the first time in my life. I thought I was dying but then suddenly the pain stopped… Draco had pushed away his wand. Lucius barely hesitated when he raised his wand at Draco. I tried to protect him. I wanted to get up and fight but I could barely keep my eyes open."

I stared at Hermione blankly. Her expression had softened a little now.

"From this day on, Draco started fighting his father. He stood up to him and tried to protect me. Since Lucius had used the Cruciatus Curse on us for the first time, I tried to fight Lucius or Narcissa only when Draco wasn't there to keep him safe. I stayed in my own bed during the nights even if it felt like torture to be so alone. I tried to push him away but Draco's not stupid. Soon, he seemed to be always by my side. Wherever I went, he followed so I quickly abandoned my plan to push him away and allowed us to become closer than ever."

Warmth spread through my body now. I smiled absentminded and lost myself in the happier memories with Draco.

"Draco became really good at sneaking around. Every night, he came into my room so that I could sleep in his arms. Early in the mornings, he would get back to his own room. After half a year at Malfoy manor we're inseparable. Draco taught me flying and wizardry games. I helped him open to his own feelings. I knew he still somehow cared for his father and mother. But he'd also learned what it meant to love someone so deeply that you'd do everything for that person."

Blinking, I was brought back to Hogwarts instantly. I looked up at my friend and saw her reserved expression. Her lips were pressed in a thin line, her brown eyes observing me closely. We stared at each other for a while before I let out a deep breath and changed my position. Cross-legged, I finally made myself comfortable again. Thoughtfully, I folded my hands and rested the elbows on my knees. I felt more self-confident now, nevertheless I was still nervous about coming to an end. I couldn't tell if Hermione would be angry or hate me or simply accept it and that scared me to death right now. By telling her the whole truth, I wanted to make her understand. I wanted her to know that my reasons weren't bad…

"Well, so for what happened in the great hall…" I gazed at Hermione and made sure to keep our eyes locked now. She shifted slightly and nodded in return. I couldn't suppress the small amused smile though. "The Zabini's mansion is close to the Malfoy's. Since the Zabini's are also a pureblood and mostly Slytherin family, they befriended the Malfoy's. Blaise and Derek consider themselves brothers even if Marilyn's not Derek's biological mother. She adopted him when his father got killed in the first war but loves him as much as Blaise… Draco grew up with them, becoming his best friends. Once or twice a week they came over or we visited them for a few hours… I liked them from the first second I met them. You know, they're both incredibly loyal, honest, smart and fun to have around. We spent more and more time together until we're almost seeing each other daily. I could sense and see how much Draco loved them and how much they cared for him! Whenever we're alone at Zabini mansion without Draco's parents we did so much bullshit together. Marilyn may be a pureblood and Slytherin but the truth is, she couldn't care less about it. I know, she only spent time with the Malfoy's in the beginning because it was kind of her duty. But when she'd first realized how Draco was raised, she wanted him to spend time with her sons to have at least something normal in his childhood… I was scared at first but, Hermione, she's like Mrs. Weasley. I mean I met her and she immediately welcomed me warmly – I couldn't possibly not love her. The rumours about her beauty and changing her boyfriends practically every few months are true but she never brought them to her place. She loves her sons and wanted them to grow up with nothing but her love. Well, she quickly grew to love me because she loved having a girl in her house for once."

I smirked at Hermione sheepishly and stifled my amused laugh. This was a serious conversation after all… I just couldn't help myself drowning in happy feelings and memories. Shyly, I ran a hand through my hair and bit my bottom lip. Soon, I would have to listen to what she thought about all this and most importantly about me…

"Hermione… Draco, Blaise, Derek and I, we love each other deeply. We're best friends, we're family! They're a main part of my family! Along with you, Harry, Ron and – well, my boyfriend of course."

Desperately, I watched my best friend and waited for her reaction. Hermione sat still, blinking and staring at me. I waited… and waited… My heart clenched when she didn't move, only looked at me with a distant expression. Suddenly, she exhaled deeply and averted her gaze. She clenched her jaw and shook her head, obviously in disbelief. When she turned back to me, her face held a reserved expression. She furrowed her eyebrows and crossed her arms.

"If Malfoy's supposed to be… a good person… then why is he acting like the most arrogant, pureblood Slytherin jerk?" She asked snappily and I bit the inside of my cheek. Her eyes darkened and she started glaring at me. "You're there when he insulted Harry, Ron and me repeatedly with unforgivable things. He's an ass and a bully. Yet you look over it because what? He comforted you back then? You know a side of him no one else knows? You've a good time with him? I remember you saying that you'd never possibly like someone like him and here you're telling me you're friends with bloody Malfoy?! I thought you-"

"Stop!" I shouted angrily and jumped on my feet. I scowled at her with my heart squeezed tightly in pain. I cried out in frustration and run a hand through my hair. I tried to keep my voice down, but I couldn't stop myself when betrayal, pain and annoyance clouded my mind.

"This isn't easy! You've been raised in a loving and caring family. Draco's father's a damn Death Eater and Draco hates it! He knows who I am and he's on our side. But it's not easy for him to cope with everything. His parents expect him to follow in their footsteps and he's doing everything he can to fight them."

I whirled around and started pacing. How the bloody hell am I supposed to make her understand? She's a goddamn, perfect Gryffindor who's got no idea-

"Draco… didn't chose to be born as a Malfoy. Yes, he could run away and yes he could cut ties but he's trying to protect me. He's my brother for Merlin's sake!"

I stopped dead in my tracks when I had said the last part. Hermione, who had gotten to her feet as well, watched me with a very incredulous expression. "Your brother? Malfoy's your brother? What the hell are you telling me, Arya?"

I closed my mouth and raised my hands desperately. I didn't know how to continue… It was all going so wrong… Sadly and defeated, I turned towards my furious best friend and tried to explain.

"After a few months at Malfoy manor, Draco burst into my room one day… He looked rather agitated and very nervous. It took me almost an hour to squeeze it out of him but when he did I felt truly happy again for the first time… He asked me if I wanted to be his sister – or twin sister seeing as our birthday is the same date… Draco's my brother, Hermione. I love him so incredibly much! We know each other better than anyone else. I. Love. Him!"

A few tears escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheeks when I saw Hermione's expression. Hurt and betrayal were masking her features. I whimpered to myself and buried my hands in my hair before dropping them powerlessly to my sides. When I opened my mouth again, I couldn't do anything anymore except begging desperately for her to understand.

"I know this is hard to understand… Draco's playing the Malfoy in front of everybody because he wants to keep me safe. If his parents knew that we're on speaking terms again my father would know as well, and he'd ruthlessly use Draco against me. If Draco should run away from his parents and cut ties, he'd put Blaise, Derek and Marilyn in danger… Yes, he's also not doing it because he's afraid of getting hurt himself and to protect his parents. Because even if he doesn't love them he has hope for them deep inside him. He's no murderer, Hermione! He doesn't want to have his parent's blood on his hands if my father should decide to punish them.

Draco's parents want him to befriend me again so that my father will praise the Malfoy's. Therefore, he lies and does everything possible to convince them from the opposite. That's why he acts like he does, that's why he says all these things he knows I hate profoundly. He doesn't mean them, you know. He couldn't care less about his blood status or being a Malfoy. Draco's real family consists of Blaise, Derek, Marilyn and me. Other than us he doesn't trust anyone!

Draco's a bullhead, yes and he can be quite manipulative but he's using it to protect himself and those he cares for. Yes, he's a player when it comes to girls, but he promised me not to break hearts or destroy relationships. Yes, he can be the most annoying, stubborn, infuriating smartass but he has a good heart… And I know, you hate him and you'd probably never like him. That's fine by me! Really. You wanted to know the truth, Hermione. And the truth is that Draco's my brother, my family and I'd do anything to protect him!"

My heart pounded strongly in my chest now. I stood frozen in the spot and watched Hermione blankly. Afraid of what she might think, say and do. Hermione turned away and shook her head. My shoulders dropped and I gulped, trying to keep myself from crying. We stayed like this for a while, minutes passing agonizingly slow while I waited desperately for her answer.

Sometime, she turned slowly and pierced me grimly with her gaze. I couldn't do anything else than staring, blood rushing loudly through my ears, my body paralyzed with fear and cold.

"I'll leave now." Hermione spat painfully slow. "I'm not telling anyone about this so don't worry about your highly praised bastard brother. And don't even try to follow me… or I'll hex you." With that she passed me without a second glance, closing the door behind her with a banging noise, shattering my heart into a million pieces...

I rose a shaking hand to my mouth when new tears threatened to leave my eyes. I couldn't break down now! I needed to tell Draco that she knew everything. But he was down by the Quidditch pitch…

Severus... Severus… I need to see him... He needs to know!

Aggressively, I clenched my jaw and bore the nails deeply into the palm of my hands. I needed to make it to his office without raising suspicions. I needed to keep myself together.

Control yourself… control yourself… control yourself… control yourself…

Repeating those words over and over again in a constant rhythm in my head, I made my way to the dungeons…