I KILLED HER

After a week of being in the hospital and receiving treatments, Chris was finally discharged from the hospital. He couldn't believe Jane is dead, he killed her. His fears finally came through, what he dreaded finally happened. This will make it the third person he killed out of his carelessness and stubbornness.

If only he listened to his Mom or Jane, this won't have happened, if only he listened to her when she said she's no longer interested in marrying him, she will still be alive now. He cursed himself for being unlucky, for making the people who matter to him disappear. Jane is a good person and doesn't deserve to die infact he should have been the one to die but why her? Why didn't fate show mercy upon her and take him instead?

He looked back at the hospital on his way out with his parents and brother, memories keep flooding back. He prayed for a miracle to happen…..for Jane to reappear and tell him she's fine and she isn't dead. Gosh he can't deal with the guilt of killing the girl who did nothing but only loved him. This is one of the reasons he hated love, one of the reasons he hated reciprocating someone's love because they end up leaving him. Cassandra isn't here maybe she got busy with something or her acting career.

She deceived him telling him Jane's alright only to find out she's fucking dead, sometimes it's better the truth hurts than to smile with a lie. He fought back the tears building in his eyes, he used the back his left palm to wipe the invisible tears, his mind drifted back to Jane's parents and sister especially his Mom. He wondered what she might be going through, how is she coping knowing that one of her daughters is dead and what if she holds him responsible. Of course he is so he won't blame her if she did.

He made up his mind to go see them immediately he returns home. He returned his attention to his family and noticed the way his brother arched his left eyebrow upwards.

"You're okay?" Vincent asked. You seem distant."

"I'm...fine." He picked his words one after the other. "Let's just go, I can't stand the scent of this hospital."

"I know what's going on your head." Vincent clapped him gently on his shoulder and smiled at him. "Don't blame yourself, none of this was your fault I guess it was bound to happen so never blame yourself for anything. I know it will be hard for you to get over this but you got to be strong if not for anyone but for Rose. You mean the whole world to her."

He just stared at him for a brief moment before forcing a smile on his face, Vincent could see the pain behind that smile. His chest itched at that, his brother has been a lot in his life, he deserves to be happy for once.

Chris followed his parents and brother home, it was a silent drive home although Vincent tried to make the whole drive lively but it didn't just worked on him, he felt dead inside, he felt like this was his chaff existing and his soul has travelled where no one could find it. He remained silent through the whole drive and thank goodness no one pressurized him to talk. The drive home was a quiet peacefully one. They drove into his parents compound although he didn't want to return here cause the memory of him dragging Jane out his parent's house still lingered on his head. He dragged her to her doom.

He climbed down from the car, his foot touched the ground and the guilt of being the one killing her couldn't let him go in. He murdered her, he doesn't deserve to live. He hesitated for a moment before getting completely down from car. He made his way to the front porch of the house when the door abruptly opens and revels Rose standing there beaming with a smile, her smile always have an impact on him. That cute childish smile of hers always took away some of his worries. He smiled at her when a woman errr.... somehow in her early 30s came standing beside her. She was kinda scolding her to quit running off like that.

Chris travelled his eyes around her, not bad. She has a chocolate tanned skin, has long olive hair and beautiful opal eyes. She kinda look skinny with no ass but yet looks beautiful. The girl unknown to him smiled at him and that smile of hers reminded of him of someone, she reminded him of Jane, that's just her smile. Feeling guilty, he ignored the girl, didn't bother to smile back at her.

"Dad, I'm so happy you're here." Rose threw her tiny arms around him, hugging his thighs. "Grandma said you travelled and she won't let me see you or let me go to you." Her baby voice brought smile and sadness in his eyes. Rose has been the reason he's been living. Only her childish behavior could make a bad day turn into a good day.

"Yes your grandma was right, I travelled but I'm back because I missed you alot." He carried her against his left shoulder although he was still feeling pain in there but he had to endure it, Rose is a sweet child. "I missed you so much I had to come see you, Dad missed you so much." He smiled while poking her right cheek in a sweet way.

"So how is my sweet princess doing today?"

"I'm fine Dad, I was just worried about you cause it's been ages I seen you. I thought something happened to you and what's that around your head." She pointed at the white bandage round his head.

"Oh that's nothing sweetheart, Dad had a little scratch so the doctor wrapped it up but don't worry, Daddy is fine."

"Ummm.... Rose, you have to eat your food, your Dad won't be happy you refused to eat." The girl interrupted them.

"No, I'm not going to eat." She shook her head. "I told you I'm not hungry."

"Who's she?" He directed his question to his parents." And what's she doing here?"

"Oh sorry, forgot to do the introduction." His Mom apologized. Chris this is Karen one of my friend's daughter, I told her to look after Rose for us that's why she's here and Karen this is my son Chris."

"No need to introduce him to me." She smiled and waved it off. "I already know him."

"Huh?"

"I mean who doesn't know the famous celebrity, I'm a fan of his songs and your songs are amazing. I never believed I will be standing face to face with you, wow it's an honor." Chris didn't say a word and returned his attention back to Rose.

"But I heard in the news you got into a terrible accident with some lady..." She continued to speak. "How are you feeling? Are you feeling alright and the woman, isn't she your fianceé?" At her questions she made him remember Jane's dead suddenly he was infuriated, he didn't know if he's angry she asked those questions or angry he was the reason she dead.

He gave her a pointed look before walking pass her into the house. Karen was surprise, what did she do wrong? She just asked simple questions because she was curious.

"You shouldn't have asked him those questions." His Mom scolded. "He just returned from the hospital and you're already interrogating him. You're no different from the press. I brought you to take care of my grandchild not to poke your nose in my son's life and you can leave now…"

"Mom, don't take it the wrong way, I know she meant no harm with her questions." Vincent shushed her with his words. "Let's go inside, it's been a long day." Their father didn't say a word to the girl or anyone just went right in after Chris.

"I'm sorry for the way my Mom sounded." He apologized. "She's just pissed, don't take it to heart."

Wow I never knew Vincent could be this sweet so why is he behaving like the king of the world in school? Man I'm surprised at his behavior, bad situations can make someone humble.

He took his Mom in. Karen stood stiff, what was that, what just happened? She was only curious. His Mom was harsh, she was concerned just the way a fan is concerned when something bad happens to the celebrity he or she likes. Well his Mom was right tho, it isn't her business.

"Vincent can you take Rose to her room and make her eat her food?" He asked, pacing up and down. Even though Rose is a little girl, something tells her her dad isn't doing fine. That he's upset with something.

"Yes bro." Vincent did as he was told.

"Who was that and what right does she have to ask me those questions? Who gave her the right?"

"Don't get mad over those petty questions." His dad said, sitting down. "She was just curious that's all and besides she told you she heard the news, you're a celebrity so basically everything you do is all over the net."

"And so? She just reminded me of Jane, reminded me she's dead, she's no more. I killed her. I murdered another person." He yelled and ran his hands on his dreads.

"No son, don't talk that way." His Mom walked to him, trying to hold him together. "Get a hold on yourself, you're not at fault but fate is. It's just cruel."

"Mom, can't you see?" He freed himself from his Mom's hold. "I let that fate have its way again, I was going to show it, it can't control me but it did it again. I killed her. Fate showed me who's more powerful. I killed Jane, I wonder what her parents might be going through. If I had known I would have set her when she said she's no longer interested in marrying me."

I'm a bad luck to her, I KILLED her." He slumps down on the couch, feeling drained, feeling dead.