Fresh Start **** Chapter Forty

The news portrayed that Symone bitch to be someone important all because she was dead. The shoplifting ass bitch was no law abiding citizen, and just because she graduated high school she was all on the news in cap and gown. I watched Twan's reaction to her being murdered in Oak Cliff, he was good with hiding emotions but he could kiss my ass. They hadn't mentioned her being pregnant, but I had known it was too soon for autopsy results. I had told Twan I was pregnant, he had said, "I'm sorry Baby, damn, I be trying not to---" but I felt his erection as I sat on top of him. One of the twins were awake, if not both but they were at peace and I was willing to bet Twalla nosey ass saw me when I left. Ryella had her own room and sometimes she would come in ours but never get in the bed, she would be asleep on the floor. He rubbed my nipples with his thumbs, I just wasn't in the mood, I had killed a bitch and he was convinced something was wrong. I had so many questions. "Twan, are u a hitman?" I asked, I didn't even know if I was ready for his answer but how could I feel some type of way about him killing people, seriously?

He sat up against the headboard and looked at me for a minute and then reached for my face with his hands to kiss me. I knew at that moment what Trenton had said was true and Sabrina had brought that nigga to kill Twan, I could not trust her and I had not known her and Redd's where abouts. "I kill when necessary, and if u leave me again, I will kill u. Lay down, and who the fuck u been talking to?" He was upset, he got up and picked up his weed tray. I became disturbed because I had seen that look when he found out Christy had killed his sister and Mandel. "I asked u a question," I had not answered and I had not known what to say so I said, "Didn't u kill Redd?"

He smirked. He knew I was with some bullshit. I didn't know whether to take him seriously or not but I loved him regardless, we could kill muthafuckas together. I hadn't known who to trust but I trusted him, if no one else. We both looked like we had been through hell, and needed to heal each other and not have any disagreements. We were a family and I was tired of all of the secrets. I was willing to tell all mine, but I hadn't had to tell him about Symone, he found her bloody phone in the bathroom and figured it out. I had deactivated the account I created and deleted the activity from the phone and I had given that nigga three babies, I could not allow that bitch to kill my man. Christy had known not to tell me and knew how I would react, and when it was all said and done I got scared, a bitch would do anything to get out of jail. Twan took the phone, wrapped it in plastic bag and left without a fucking word, I didn't know what the fuck to do, was that nigga going to the police? He wanted my babies and didn't give a fuck about me, that's what the voices said. I remembered how angry Tobias had been that day at the gas station, were they plotting against me? I looked at the babies, all three and knew I could not get them in their carseats and in the car before the police came. Tobias was gone and I could not leave them alone. The sirens on the interstate overpass sounded, they were coming, I knew it. I had killed that bitch and Twan loved her more than he loved me, he would sell me out. I paced and thought about the pills, I could just swallow the pills at one time, the voices would go away. Where were they? My phone rang, it wasn't Twan, but Christy. I was convinced I couldn't trust that bitch and all I had was Redd I hoped now and I had given him to my enemy. She had told him all of my business, I knew she had and he had done the same. I was a joke, a baby making joke that could not take care of my own children. I ran to the bathroom snatching everything out of the medicine cabinet, where were the pills? I had known Tobias had got everything from Nikki. I texted her, "Are my pills there?"

"What pills?" She asked.

Nevermind dicksucker.

I called Twan, his phone went to voicemail. I called back, same result. Oh, shit. I should have known he loved that bitch. He had lied. I looked out of the window, it wasn't high enough. Ryella saw me and called out for her Daddy, "Little Bitch!" I screamed.

She laughed.

I was a joke, even she knew it. I heard car doors, they had come, without the sirens, duh! I waited to hear Twan's keys, I had locked the door, I was afraid to look out of the window again. I had to fight them, I could not go down without a fight and would shoot them all or at least a couple. I could hear keys at the kitchen door, he was bringing them through the garage, I needed to stand on the stairs and shoot if I wanted to kill instantly! I watched the knob turn and heard voices, a woman's voice. They needed a female officer. I had to kill Twan, God he was so disloyal, he would come inside first I would shoot and not care, he had to suffer for betraying me!

There were codes in the street he needed to abide by, no one abided by the street code. All some of us had were the streets and how dare the muthafuckas betray the code. The streets chose us for a reason, and had been better to me than my own parents had. I saw a shoe, it was not Twan's he had on Jordans. I didn't recognize the Italian shoe, it was a detective! He had to die! I could not go out like no peon ass bitch, I was skilled at that shit, them bitches should have checked my body count!

By the time I had realized the realtor was coming inside with a couple of expecting parents, I had pulled the trigger. Hadn't nobody told me shit. The bullet lodged in the wall and them muthafuckas made it to the car and down the driveway so fast they almost totaled Twan's Impala. Well, we wouldn't be selling the home, I thought. He threw the car in park got out and yelled at the realtor.

"Fuck!" he said before getting back in and parking the Impala. When he had he slammed the car door and came back inside.

"What the fuck did u say to them?" He asked.

"Nothing, say to who?"

I played dumb.

"Nevermind."

The babies, all three screamed top the top of their lungs. The neighbor rang the doorbell as soon as Twan closed the door. He snatched it open, "Hey, u guys hear a gunshot?" he asked. We both said no but he looked at me and heard how upset the babies were. He rudely dismissed Mr. Greenard and told me to go upstairs. He was upset but why? Yea he loved that powder head bitch.

"U do some dangerous shit Bae, Christy already told Tobias everything. I know what u are capable of doing anyways, but I got me, I got us."

I could not play dumb of course and I was so confused, did that nigga love me or not?

I loved him so much I would kill us all.

I wondered where he had taken the phone the knife was in the bushes. He was a skilled killer and he knew what he was doing. I broke it all down to him, I told him everything Christy had told me and she was going to kill him for Poncho Mojo and KC. He said she had told him he had a girlfriend in jail, her cellmate but they had a bad fallout behind another bitch. Why hadn't she told Tobias to tell Twan what the bitch had said, I wondered. She hadn't called him because he was mad and I had to find out why. "Baby we need to leave and start over," he said. I was all for it, no more mental facilities, no more prison, no more watching over my shoulder.

"They have cameras where u killed her at," he then said. I had removed the paper tags from the car before I left so they didn't have the plate number and there were a million white impalas and I had on gloves. What I hadn't understood about it all was why she was in jail in Louisiana. Miles away from Dallas, there was something missing and I was sure Christy knew what it was, her information would be limited and she was a dirty bitch. I wanted to know more about Twan's plug, who he was. Had Christy turned them on to Dude? "We gotta burn your car," he said after I stared in his eyes. He loved me and I knew Christy had to have told that bitch to come at Twan. I waited for her to call. I could not calm down I was so frantic inside, Twan picked up both twins and Ryella laid in my lap, I wiped her tears. She looked like Twan a lot, they were indeed his babies and he acted like they were his everything. I often wondered about Shan and Netta. We decided to move away but hadn't known where. I was so nervous I asked if we could go to a hotel, he denied the request. He hadn't wanted the babies in a hotel room. He had known the bitch wasn't right but he said he hadn't had sex in a long time and she would not leave him alone. He had met her at the gas station, of course. I guess the bitch followed him forgot how to leave. "This shit ain't over, and I got alot of niggas out to get me Bae, I don't wanna die, I wanna live for y'all. U left me I lost it! What the fuck Hazel?"

He hadn't had a haircut in months, hardly ate and smoked constantly. He even had picked up a cigarette habit. I wanted the Twan back I had met. "U saved me, I didn't care what u had done, looked or smelled like, u were solid."

I was funky, huh? Bastard.

We planned to leave in two days, he said he had to get some shit in order and promised we would leave everything behind and go to Washington. He was on probation but he would deal with it later. I had my man back and I was sorry I had betrayed him by messing with Christy but I didn't consider it to be cheating, besides it had sounded like he had a threesome. I had to find out who she was, I kept her number and heard what she said.

I needed to call Kerri, I was ready to address my issues and prayed I had a change of heart before I saw her again. I was sorry about Josh but was she sorry about Boogie? I vowed to kill her and Daddy, like the voices said. I knew if I drove to Louisiana Twan would be mad, but I tasted revenge, it altered my mindstate. I needed to kill, Symone's blood had not been enough. It had satisfied the craving, but it was to the point I deserved to kill, I felt power when

I did and it was the only way I could. I had begun to enjoy seeing them suffer.