Clear Instincts 0.2

I seem to be falling into an endless pit of confusion. Nothing made sense to me right now. I just stared off for a long moment, to the point that I was questioning my mind. Mrs. Melrose's words ringing through my ears, like a broken record stuck on repeat. Even that, I failed to understand what Mrs. Melrose was saying.

My eyes briefly glanced her way and saw her looking at me with worry. This made me realize how long I must have looked blank and lost. So, I tried to shake myself back to reality, completely pushing the thought away and refusing to believe my ears.

I must've been distracted and heard Mrs. Melrose wrongly.

I smiled at Mrs. Melrose to show her that I was all right.

"What do you mean by that again, Mrs. Melrose," I asked adding a small laugh to mask my baffled state.

She looks at me seriously and spoke, "You're mother told me that something like this was bound to happen."

Her voice was quiet still, but firm and almost demanding as if she was emphasizing every word.

I didn't hear wrongly. I don't know why, but an uncertain emotion bean to bubble in the pits of my stomach before annoyance emerged and I couldn't help but have my tone sound irritated.

"I'm sorry for this, Mrs. Melrose. But if this is a joke, I don't find it funny at all," my tone sounding a bit harsher than intended. As soon as I realized this, I panicked to take it back.

But was halted immediately as I see Mrs. Melrose shake her head slowly.

A weird part in my body immediately began to believe this that I found myself more irritating than that of the information.

16 years, after 16 years, I now just receive this small information about my parents and to top it all off, it was only about me being adopted?

Wasn't that already given, considering that THIS is an orphanage?!

There were still holes that failed to be filled. Nothing added up. So what if m mom knew that i will be moving out? As Mrs. Melrose had said, it was bound to happen.

So what connection does this have about my mom knowing this?

Mrs. Melrose briefly let's go of my hands and opened the bottom drawer of her table. Shuffling sounds soon emerged as she rummaged the contents of the pull up box.

After a solid minute of assertion, she finally sits up. A slightly crumpled yellowed envelop right in her hands.

She gestured for my hand and I gave it to her, opening it and placing the envelope within my hands than closed it. She gives me a small smile and pats my closed palm.

I wasn't certain of how I should react about all this, but I just remained quiet for the moment, waiting for Mrs. Melrose's explanation.

"This is a letter left by your mother, for me to give you when this day arrived," she starts.

"The truth is, you aren't getting adopted, or anything like that. According to the man, he'll be taking you to some kind of academy," she says. Which confused me even more.

"An academy? Why do I have to go to an academy?" I couldn't help but ask.

She smiles at me for a bit and spoke softly, "Trust me on this, your mother failed to give me more details. But she did tell me to not ask anything more, just to tell you and give you that letter. Maybe the answers are within that letter. I haven't opened that letter for the past 16 years. So take it with you and go with Mr. Black."

After that, she didn't say anything more other than words of goodbyes and encouragement.

"You must learn to live on your own and survive; this world of ours can be such a dangerous place. Always strive with confidence and caution, okay?" she advices.

I nearly broke into tears the moment she caressed my cheeks and smiled so bitterly at me that it felt like my heart was slowly breaking. I just nodded and held her close to my arms. I can see that she was trying her hardest not to cry in fits and that she was staying strong for me.

Instead of telling her to let it all out, I kissed her forehead and whispered, "I'll miss you, momma."

The moment I said that she began to tremble slightly and tears began to roll out of her eyes.

I quickly wiped them off and whispered soft nothings to calm her back down.

Then after a few more moments, the guy from the hall, Mr. Black as Momma called him, knocked on the door and called for me. Without realizing it, I had cried with Mrs. Melrose, wiped my own tears, and hid the letter behind my back, folding it and shoving it down in my back pockets.

I sniffed and embraced Mrs. Melrose again, before going to exit the room. She followed behind, saying that she wanted to send me off. I nearly balled at the words but I held my tears and followed Mr. Black who had both of my bags, already in hand.

I had a better view of Mr. Black. He was indeed at his mid-forties, an intimidating yet chill aura about him. He had dark brown hair that was tousled, almost like a bird's nest on his head. But he looks a bit young. His body language indicated his age. He seemed like the mysterious and guarded type of man that looked aggressive. But his body language didn't seem to indicate any menacing intents.

So for the time being I was cool with him.

He led us to the small parking space for the orphanage and headed for a black SUV car perched near the entrance of the parking lot. Mr. Black started at the back of the car, opening the trunk and putting my stuff inside. I breathed in a bi gulp of air and roamed my eyes at the property. This was going to be the last thing I'll see if this place before deciding to come back.

I etched every detail in my mind, imprinting every crack; hole and vine covered walls into my memories and almost ran back inside and decide to never leave. However, Mrs. Melrose, seeming to see the idea on my mind, pushed me inside the car and lightly scolded me to not even dare doing such a thing.

I chuckled at her and finally went inside the car.

I heard Mr. Black close the trunk and had made his way to the driver's seat and started the car, roaring it to life. I quickly looked over at Mrs. Melrose only to see her soft smile again. I did my best to commemorate her smile in my mind as fast as I could.

"Goodbye, Levi..." she started.

Her smile was unwavering but a flash of bitterness left her voice.

I pursed my lips at the words and seemed to have paused for a moment, not until Mr. Black told us that we will be going now and had said goodbye to Mrs. Melrose. The car began to move and I panicked to speak.

I looked out of my opened window and yelled, "No goodbyes! I'll come back once I'm done."

My breath was caught when she smiled widely at me, raising her arm, and waving me goodbye.

"Make sure of that!" she yells back at me.

At that point fresh new tears freely rolled out of my eyes and I didn't do anything to wipe them off.

The car sped away and it leads us to now.

Soon after that, the sky became gloomy and had poured heavy rain faster than I could've anticipated.

I worried for Mrs. Melrose and some of the closest people I had there. Like the staff and the other orphans.

Then my mind shifted back towards the matter at hand.

I knew that I was going to an academy, but where.

As I look out the window, I couldn't distinguish where we were so I can't determine which academy we're going to.

It wasn't like I didn't want to go to school, if anything I dreamed about going to one, we had voluntary teachers that were willing to teach us orphans for free. From them, we gained knowledge. But I didn't get why I needed more knowledge and to go to an academy at a time like this.

I mean, I felt excitement that was for sure, but I didn't know why I was even going to this place, better yet, how. As far as I know, you need to enroll to a school and take entrance exams, but all the universities and academies near me required tuition fees. I had no money yet so it was not an option for me to enroll. Then this guy comes in and says that I was going to an academy.

I wasn't so sure about asking him anything, he seems like the guy that would often ignore you even if you pester him for how long.

So I slumped back on my seat.

It had been such a long and quiet drive that I was beginning to feel antsy. I don't have any phones to keep me company, since I could barely afford one. Mr. Quiet here doesn't even turn the radio on. So it was naturally awkward in the car.

I shifted on my seat and heard a crumpling sound of paper.

Oh, the letter...

I placed my palm on my back pocket checking if the paper was still there. My fingers ghosted on the paper and confirmed that it was.

I pondered if I should read it now or not, the small voice in my head told me to not yet.

But I was still contemplating.

Just as I was about to grab for it. Mr. Black suddenly talked and it startled me. Making me jump in my seat.

His eyes were looking through the mirror that reflected my image.

"We're here..."

Those two words was all it took for me to freeze in place.

Quote of the Chapter!!

"The fears we don't face becomes our limits."

-Robin Sharma-