Chapter 3

The moment we got back to the room we moved the little coffee table infant of the bed so we could lay out blankets infant of the couch. I made sure to take a lactose pill because I'm lactose intolerant and I wasn't trying to get sick later. By the time we were done karma was nocking on the dour. Kemoni open it and I turned on the tv and began to flip through programs. I ended up on "duty dancing" my favorite movie. I've never really believed in love but this movie in particular always gave me the slightest bit of hope. Plus it kinda fit the situation but that didn't mean that we would be paying much attention to it this time.

As we all began to eat M spits out with a shaky voice, "just to clarify I don't get mad. It's just, it's just that he is the opposite of Angle but it doesn't help that he looks so much like him and I miss him so much." I couldn't argue withe her there. Jax was the spiting image of angle but he didn't start to act like angles opposite till he was gone. In fact he used to wanna be exactly like him. He praised his older brother as kids.

"we all mis him too but you can't just do stuff that isn't called for, like what you did earlier" karma tells her. " its not the same for you karma, you didn't feel the way I did about him. You didn't feel abandoned when he left." Michael told us as she put a spoon full of ice cream in her mouth. "but I did, he was like a family to me and you don't see me going off on Jax like that", kemoni told her from were she was punched on the couch under her bed.

"Jaxon was just being a typical boy, not thinking about what he was saying when he said it. At least that's what he told me", I added. Looking at my phone I read her that he messaged me earlier. "plz tell M I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make her mad. I wasn't thinking. At the very lest get her to talk to me." I said out loud. Rolling her eyes she look my phone and typed a response to him. Almost instantly after she hit send he had sent another one back."I bet you that he didn't even know what he did rung." Karma said with a chuckle. Looking at the chat over Michel's shoulder kemoni said "your right he probably doesn't."

M started to smile. "what do you mean probably. I can measure you that he defiantly doesn't know, but that's only because he didn't do anything wrong." As I like me spoon I teased her saying, "wow M owning up to being ring give me my phone back so I can take a photo to remember this day." Instead of passing it to me she passed the phone over to karma as she was pointing to something on it. Faking offense she said "Yes Le believe it or not I and admit to other there when I'm wrong but I won't tell him. I have to much pride for that." She told me with a laugh.

Then that karma passed the phone to kemoni. "hey can I have that back now?" I said with a lough as I reached out to grab it. "Not until you explain these messaged between you and Devein" key told me. What was she talking about. All we did was plan to meet at the basketball court but of corse they were pressing something. "What do you mean? There is nothing to explain." I said confused in more ways than one.

"No what do you mean sayin there is nothing to explain" kemoni asked me. " I'm not following?" It isn't un like me to be missing the full picture. In normally blind to the things that are right in front of my face. "oh dear lord," karma exclaims loudly obviously upset that I didn't get it. "What! What am I missing here because I'm clearly not getting what you guys are trying to point out, so just say it already." It told them looking confused. "He likes you dummy!" Karma told me.

My facile expression didn't change much because I did believe them. Michel looked at me and said " do you need me to spell it out for you? I can't believe you really never saw it! And don't even get me started on the way he looked at you tonight" Spelling it would just confuse me more I've never been good at it but even if she had I still wouldn't have believed her. "He doesn't like me he never has and never will so I don't know what your talking about" "Jesse legaci, your Anoying you know that," kemoni started " you really don't feel the tension between the two of you, and don't try and deny it because it docent seem like it is one sided." I couldn't say anything.

I mean if I'm being honest there is something but I never really acknowledged it before. He has been my guy best friend since diapers. As far as I was concerned it was just because he have known each other for so long. To be fair I've never really got passed the talking faze before. Any time I've ever liked a guy the feelings were never reciprocated and if they were I would always change my mind about how felt or Devin scared them off telling me that they weren't worth my time. I never argued with him, I just thought that he was looking out for me, but what the girls are telling me makes sense. I wasn't going to tell that though.

I put those thoughts to the back of my mind. "okay say he likes me? What do I do about it?" "I swear El sometimes you ask the dumbest things," karma told me "you actually give him a chance, that's what you do." I knew she was going to say that. Her and I made a deal when we were both 14 that we would always tell each other the truth no matter how good or bad the outcome could be.

I wasn't apposed to the idea of being with him, I had just never mealy thought about him in that way before. He's this amazing guy that has always been there for me. He's also not bad looking with his milk chocolate colored skin, waves with a fade and some kind of design always shaved in his hair. He has been able to pull any girl he wanted for as long as I could remember and every guy loved him even if they were on n opposite teem. He had this amazing threats bold that any guy would dream of and he always had on a pair stud earrings, mashed with an 18K gold chain that I bout him a few years back, along with that same cheese smile.

The girls and I kept talking till around 3am, that's when we desired to call it a night. I when to the bathroom to take off my makeup while kemoni and Michel changed clothes. Immediately, I took out my contacts. When I was done I'd put on my glasses but for now I pulled off my false lasses and used a makeup wipe to take off the rest of my makeup. That will always be my favorite part if the day. There is something so soothing a bout the removing a mask of some sort.

Don't get me wrong I love makeup it's like a confidence booster for me. It has this way of making me feel more secure in my own skin like a recurrence. I still like going hair faced sometimes not only does it help my skin breath but its also a reminder that I don't need it to feel happy or safe. I put a small bit of cleanser on my fingers and started to wash my face. By the time I'm half way through my skin care routine kemoni is nocking on the bathroom door.

"Come in" I say to her and the door swings wide open. "M's out like a light" She tells me. "Dang that girl wast no time" I tell her shaking my head. She responds with, "no she does not but I wanna talk to you about something." She puts the top down on the toilet and takes a seat on it as she reaches on the counter to grab one of my makeup wipes. As I apply my acne gel to my face I ask her "whats up." "first off how did you miss that whole thing with Devin. I really just don't understand that. Most of the time people think y'all are dating any way plus y'all would be so cute together" she tells me.

"Honestly, I don't know either. I guess I'm just oblivious to the things I'm not looking for. But I could see where you would think that we would be cute together" I say to her with a slight sigh in my voice. "Exactly so I want all the details tomorrow night" she said to me. Rolling my eyes and switching positions with her so she could wash her face. With a smile I told her "fine I will but 5 bucks says nothing will happen that's out of our normal". She tells me that she will take her chances and changes to topic.

She starts to tie up her big brown curls with a hair band as she takes to me. "By the way El, you won't be the only one of us going out with a guy tomorrow night," she tells me with big smile on her face. In that moment my heart rate spiked with excitement for her. Kay had this obsession with romance books so she was a hapless romantic but when it came down to real life that was her biggest flaw. It made her kinda niece when it came to relationships.

I started asking questions about him and apparently he worked on the ship. Supposedly he was really nice but I wouldn't take her word for it. I'd seen her cry to many times over guys that were never worth it in the first place. Groping my a cup off of the counter I took four pills. Two were Benzodiazepine for my anxiety, the one an antidepressant, and the last was an iron pill to treat my anemia. So far things seemed to be going really well in this trip and I had zero intention on messing that up for any of that.

We walked out of the bathroom as quietly as we could when we were done. The two of us didn't have a hard time navigating our way through the dark room. I throw the sheets over my bed and chawed in as kemoni climbed the short latter up to her twin size bed over the small yellow couch that she had sat on earlier. "goodnight key" I told her from across the room. "goodnight legaci" she whispered back to me.

I silently whispered my prayers from my spot in the bed. I might not seem like it but I do believe in god so I try to make the evert to pray every night even thought I don't go to church very often. I grabbed my phone when I was done and hit play on my sleep podcast. After I took off my glasses I put on my eye mask that has on earbuds in it and connected my phone via bluetooth and put it on the charger, but not before I red the messages from Devin agin trying to pick up on anything. I thought to myself, "wow what a way to start this trip." Then I went to bed.